|The Lounge | Champions | The Wire | Schedule | Audio | Arcade | The Top Ten | Historical | Email | Video|
Co-Dependency and Food: Trying to Fill the Void
Nice girls don't speak up. Nice girls take care of and support others. These are just a few of the messages girls often receive as they are socialized. Often in adulthood, these ingrained messages turn into full-blown co-dependency. Years can go by. Unmet needs build up energy; they demand attention. But without learning skills in setting boundaries, letting others feel their own pain and making oneself a priority, food often becomes the hassle-free, soothing balm to take the edge off and release that pent up energy momentarily, that is until the guilt sets in.
We are in one of the following roles when we are co-dependent - victim, rescuer or persecutor. Following are a few examples of how these roles play out in our relationship with food:
Victim: You eat too much food. You gain weight and then can't eat what you want. No matter what you do, what diet you try, you can't lose weight. No matter how you eat, you seem to continue to gain weight, feeling worse and worse.
Rescuer: The dessert makes you feel better, especially the chocolate. It makes you feel loved. You feel comforted and nurtured when you eat certain foods. You reward yourself with food over the smallest perceived successes. Or someone may rescue you when you claim you can't lose weight. "You've tried hard. It's not working for you. Go ahead and eat it. You're not losing weight anyway. You can try that new diet tomorrow."
Persecutor: You're great at beating up on yourself. No matter what you do, you can't lose weight. Your tortured thoughts go something like this: "I'm never going to lose this weight; it's too hard to lose weight. I hate myself because I can't control my eating. I hate myself because I'm not following this diet perfectly. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I hate myself."
How do you get out of your co-dependent relationship with food? First, pay attention to your thoughts - I mean really notice. What are you saying to yourself about food, your body, your weight, yourself? Likely you'll find that you wouldn't say those things to your worst enemy. Secondly, write those thoughts down. Ask yourself if any of your thoughts are really true about you or do they come from unconscious, past patterns. Next, ask yourself if you wish to continue to believe these thoughts. If not, forgive yourself for believing them and replace those thoughts with the ones you want.
It goes like this.
I always eat too potato chips, and I can't lose weight. I'm so spineless.
Are my thoughts true?
I don't always eat too many potato chips. I've been eating dessert, which is probably why I can't lose weight. It's not the potato chips. I don't know why I said I'm spineless. I'm not.
Why do I eat so many potato chips?
When I ate them today, it was after that conversation with my friend. I felt angry. The crunch of the potato chips helped me feel less angry. Now that I think about it, I eat potato chips a lot when I'm angry.
Do I want to continue believing my thoughts?
No. I forgive myself for eating potato chips to swallow my anger. I forgive myself for calling myself spineless.
When I'm angry next time, I'm going to express my anger appropriately and talk with the other person. I'm not going to eat potato chips. I can lose weight. I am successful in losing weight.
Learn to listen to yourself and not rely on outside cues for what you may or may not think and feel. It's not selfish to meet your real needs directly. When you meet your true needs, food is no longer a bandage. Then you can freely choose whether or not to eat that particular food without the intensity of unmet emotional needs. It's about valuing yourself and making decisions and choices that honor your value. New thinking will support your weight loss efforts.
About The Author
Zo Houseman is the author of Live Lightly! that describes how she lost 100 pounds and kept it off by learning to think differently. Read free excerpts. More information and resources are available at http://www.setyourheartfree.com.
Rob Kardashian Weight Loss Update: 'KUWTK' Star Blames Milkshakes For Weight ... - International Business Times
How To Be A Big Fat Loser In 2005
Now that the temptations of the Holiday season have passed it is time to stop feeling like a big fat loser and become one by losing all the fat you gained. And I am here to tell you how to do it in seven easy to follow steps.
Weight Loss Problems? - Why The Gastric Bypass Surgery Does Not Stick!
Gastric bypass surgeries are temporary physical fixes to a long term head problem!If you think the surgery is a cure all, think again. The crazy thing is people are gaining weight on purpose so they can be qualified to even be considered for the surgery.
Mind, Body Weight Loss for life equals behavior change - The Acceptance Factor
Getting to the ROOT of the matter: If the plants in your garden are not healthy looking, just trimming them back will not take care of the problem. What do the roots look like? I am no psychologist, but there is a very interesting twist you need to understand before you begin any weight loss or fitness program.
Eating Healthy Diet Tips
Some (not so) Silly Diet Tips and Why They're NotAt first glance some of these diet tips may seem downright silly. You may find yourself thinking, "That's couldn't possibly make enough of a difference.
Sweet Low Carb Foods - How Do They Do That?
If you're a low carb diet enthusiast, you've probably tried some of those tasty low carbohydrate bars, candies or maybe even broke down and baked a loaf of that really easy to make and great tasting low carb banana bread.And after getting your head around the concept of 'net carbs', you may still be wondering what are those sweeteners listed on the labels, such as mannitol, maltitol, sorbitol and others, and how they fit into your Atkins, Protein Power, South Beach or other diets.
Mesotherapy vs. Cellulite For A Knockout
In the battle to look good, there's a cosmetic treatment that is going a few rounds with cellulite and small fatty deposits. Mesotherapy is knocking out fat and rejuvenating skin in people who give it a try.
Lose Weight Quickly And Easily - Weight Loss Information
For people that are obese, losing weight quickly can seem like a dream that will never come true. The fact is that if you want to lose weight quickly you must dramatically reduce the amount of fat and calories you consume.
Sensible Approach To Weight Loss
Losing weight is a tough and demanding task for most of us who experience the effects of growing waistlines and concerns associated with it. Once you have made up your mind and you are fully determined to lose weight, start your weight loss campaign with a positive approach.
Weight Loss With Ionamin: Gentle Plan, Mighty Results
You know you have will-power. You can change a diaper while on the phone with an important client and then fix a fabulous, healthy meal for your family and your unexpected visitors while arranging your tax receipts.
Slowing Down Can Help You Lose Weight Faster
Running For Weight Loss??.Slow DownYou may be out running your fat burning hormonesSo you've loved running since your track days of high school.
How to Burn Fat: Doctors Proven Weight Loss Secret #1
Let me ask you a personal question. As you read these words, right now-- are you burning fat?If you don't know the answer, you need to know about a simple, inexpensive way to make sure.
Want Permanent Weight Loss Results? Healthy Eating is the Key
The confusion about eating healthy and dieting will now be cleared up, all in one easy sentence. Are you ready? Everyone is different.
Breaking Research: Whats a Dieter To Do?
Every day, it seems, a new study pertaining to weight loss or nutrition is released to the public. These studies tout the latest and greatest trends, products or discoveries and then a willing public jumps on the bandwagon expecting mighty results.
Slim Hips and Thighs: Tips to Lose Weight from Hips and Thighs!
Losing weight on hips and thighs has always been a dream. And yes, dreams come true! It is usually difficult to lose weight from thighs and hips as compared to abdomen.
Eating Food Just to Be Rid of It
What to Do with the Leftovers?Okay, tell me if you've ever done this: It's Monday late afternoon. You decided yesterday that starting today you were going to 1) eat right, and 2) start to get regular exercise, and 3) give up all your bad habits.
Fast Weight Loss - 7 Day Diet Program for Quick Weight Loss
Do you have a big event coming up? Perhaps you have a great dress that you bought in the hopes of losing ten pounds, but just haven't gotten around to losing enough weight to fit into it. In addition to supplements and other weight loss products, maybe the solution to your problem is a seven-day diet.
Bodybuilding Weightloss Diet Tips And Strategies
Just the facts on bodybuilding weightloss strategies that work. No fluff or filler here.
I Can, I Cant
One common question I receive is, "What do you do for maintenance?" It always takes me by surprise because the concept is alien to me. Maintenance? Granted, when I started this lifestyle, I would have loved to have some "vacation" waiting for me at the end, and I was certainly thinking about how I would "relax things" when I achieved my peak physique.
Weight Loss Recipe: Avocado, Walnut & Crispy Bacon Salad
Losing weight doesn't have to be boring when you focus on bright, colourful meals. What does this mean? Simply by making sure your plate reflects a range of colours, you'll naturally create more balanced and healthful menus.
Atkins Diet Plan - Whats The Catch
The Atkins diet Plan breakfast can usually composed of eggs strips of bacon and coffee. A snack might include coffee with cream, and chunks of cheese.
Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us
Copyright © 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.