Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

Gastro-Physics And Dietary Anti-Matter


Do a little people-watching, next time you're in the grocery line. There's always someone with a cart, bulging with every conceivable kind of diet food. Flats of turkey bacon prop listlessly against the fat free half & half and Olestra cookies. At first glance, this is clearly someone who is completely health conscious, diet minded, and watching what they eat.

But peek beneath the basket to the lower rack - where you normally find dog food, kitty litter, and toxic chemicals - and you will see the full case of Mountain Dew. Diet foods and junk foods, rubbing wrappers in the very same cart might suggest mental illness, delusional optimism, or some other form of brain strain.

However, unbeknownst to the rest of us, these folks are actually brilliant physicists, cleverly disguised as profoundly confused shoppers, so as not to attract any attention. They throw you off their trail with very characteristic behaviors, like chasing a candy bar with a Diet Coke.

Yes, we can now release the fact that these scientists are members of the little know branch of their field known as gastro-physics, and they are actually testing a high-level theory regarding matter and anti-matter. Just as matter can be annihilated by anti-matter, they show how calories can be eliminated, obliterated, and just forgotten about altogether if you just consume them with their Universal opposite.

Oreos and skim milk cancel perfectly.

M&Ms are vaporized into the next astral plane when thrown into a trail mix bag with a few Spanish peanuts.

And then there's diet drinks ? the perfect dietary anti-matter for any form of plasticized fruit rollup, gummy worms, or even weight loss candy bars.

Sorry for the dive into the messy scientific details, but there's just a bit more you should know about this physics phenomenon. The calorie cancellation must happen within a certain time frame, if you are serious about blipping away that ingot of taffy you just ate.

It's like your mother explained, logically, that swimming after quick a baloney and cheese sandwich at the beach will make you drop like a rock to the bottom of the ocean, unless you wait the required 30 minutes or so.

In just the same way, modern gastro-physicists indicate that full cancellation can only take effect if the diet product smashes into the junk food within 7.45 minutes. These guys are brilliant.

So the next time you see cleverly disguised gastro-physicists chasing their Snickers with a Diet Coke, don't harrumph. They're not as daft as they seem.

About The Author

Dr. Will Clower is the award-winning author of The Fat Fallacy and founder of The PATH Curriculum, The PATH Online, and Newsletter.

The PATH: America's weight solution.

Dr. Clower can be reached on his website www.fatfallacy.com. willclower@fatfallacy.com


MORE RESOURCES:

ABC News

See 'Pawn Stars' Corey Harrison After 192-Pound Weight Loss
ABC News
Just like his buddy Chumlee, "Big Hoss," as they call Corey Harrison on "Pawn Stars," has dropped a lot of weight and it shows. Harrison, 31, told People magazine that at his highest he weighed more than 400 pounds, but that after the doctor put him on ...
Pawn Stars' Corey Harrison: 192-pound weight loss due to lap band surgeryExaminer.com
Corey Harrison Of 'Pawn Stars' Drops An Amazing 192 PoundsThe Inquisitr

all 12 news articles »


β€œWe have people that have lost 300 pounds:” Milwaukee hosts TOPS weight loss ...
fox6now.com
MILWAUKEE (WITI) β€” You might notice extra activity downtown this weekend β€” not only is Bastille Days going on, but hundreds from all over the country and Canada are in town for TOPS's, international recognition days. TOPS stands for Take Off Pounds ...



Phil Ball: Secret to painless weight loss? Don't ask
Muncie Star Press
At a recent visit to my doctor, I was made aware that I had lost more than 30 pounds in the past few years. Think of that. I had changed from an obese mound of flab to a skinnier mound of shriveled flab β€” without even trying and without any pain or ...



Waist Trainers At Forefront Of Weight Loss Methods
CBS Local
MIAMI (CBSMiami) – Women wanting to get a celebrity figure but trying to avoid going under the knife are opting for something else that they claim does not β€œwaist” their time. Dozens of women have claimed they achieved smaller waists not from surgery ...



Americans Prefer Surgeries, Drugs for Weight Loss
International Business Times AU
Americans prefer to consume weight loss medications drugs and weight loss surgery, in comparison to self-modification, which includes a healthy diet and exercise, reveals a study published in the Science Daily. The findings were shared at the annual ...



Bariatric weight-loss surgery
ABC30.com
On both the state and national levels, we are a step above most other weight-loss surgery programs. Our superb clinical outcomes have earned HealthGrades' five-star ratings and a Bariatric Excellence Award five years in a row (2009-2013), putting our ...



Weight-Loss Surgery, Prescriptions More Satisfying for Obese Patients
Pharmacy Times
Patients were categorized as having undergone a weight-loss surgery or using a prescription for weight loss or using self-modifications such as diet, exercise, weight management programs, and over-the-counter medications and supplements to lose weight.



HEALTHY EATING:Life after weight loss
Wicked Local Hudson
Things to consider before starting a weight loss plan: Over-focusing on exercise and neglecting to significantly change food habits is a recipe for failure. Both are important but an estimated 85 percent of weight loss results from managing food intake ...



HEALTHBEAT4: Surgical options for weight loss
KTIV
"For someone with a BMI over 45 I would definitely try and council them about the sleeve or the bypass because it would give them a more sustained weight loss," said Dr. Gupta. Dr. Gupta says surgery does give patients a push to take the pounds off ...



CNN

He lost 153 pounds, won his first triathlon
CNN
He also keeps two pictures beside his bed, one from before his weight loss and one after, reminding himself every morning and every night, "Never again." Hoffman also continues to look for new ways to improve his personal fitness, describing himself as ...

and more »

Google News


Advertisement



Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

Copyright © 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.