Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

Vitamin Supplements in a Liquid World


Every day, it seems like we are living in an increasingly liquid world. I'm not preaching against the evils of alcohol or for a new era of prohibition that will save us from sin and politicians. After all, water is also a liquid, and it rarely inflicts us with either sin or politicians.

But we do expect everything to be excruciatingly easy these days, so liquid is the operating system of choice.

No time to eat? Grab a liquid breakfast and run. Why tie a knot in the umbilical chord connecting your bed to your desk? If you can find a long enough straw, just start slurping as you rise from bed, and smack your lips to the last drop as you whiz out the front door. Bye.

Remember when soap came in bars? Solid bars? Sorry, I guess I'm showing my age. Now everybody uses liquid soap. Yesterday I reached for the soap. No, wait. I reached for the hand cream. Or was it the soap? But what if it is the hand cream? Soap or hand cream? Which is which?

People used to nail siding onto the exterior of their homes. Now they just spray on "liquid siding". It comes in three tasty flavors: siding, ceramic and stucco. Yum.

And now they've taken my little vitamin supplement pills and liquefied them, too.

"Hold on just a minute. How do you know they liquefied the vitamin pills?"

Who said that?

"Are vitamins naturally solid? Or are they naturally liquid?"

Uh. I had to admit that I probably would not recognize a vitamin if I bumped into it in the street ... in which case I have a hunch it might be too big to swallow. Say, who is this?

"Where do you think vitamins come from, anyway?"

I always assumed they came from the back of the corner store in a small town in Indiana, but upon reflection, I suspect they might come from oranges and fish and milk. Who are you?

"Don't you think it's pretty hard to stuff a fish into a hard, little pill?"

I suppose The Voice has a point.

"You drink milk, don't you?"

Yeah, but that's because it's liquid. Suddenly I recalled my dream from just last week. Cow after cow heading into a factory on a conveyor belt. At first I though it was the Annual Bovine Family Reunion, but on the other side of the factory, riding the same conveyor belt, were neatly sealed cartons of milk. Aaargh!

"Squeezed. Like an orange. You drink juice, don't you?"

Yeah...but squeezing a cow?

"Just what do you know about liquid?"

I thought real hard. Everything comes in one of three states: gas, liquid and solid. Gas is like the politicians when they are talking. Liquid is like the politicians when they are hard at work attending cocktail receptions. Solid is like statues of politicians.

Everything comes in either gas, liquid or solid. That is about all I could remember of my high school chemistry. That, and how to explode a partially dissected frog. No, wait. That wasn't chemistry class. Silly me. Why would we have a partially dissected frog in chemistry class. That was that other class. What was it called, again? Oh yes, "home economics".

"Did the frog contain vitamins?"

Not any more.

"Do you think it's easier to pack vitamins into a tiny, hard pill or into a drink?"

I suppose it all depends on what kind of explosive you use. I tried to imagine squeezing a fish into a carton. But fish walking up a conveyor belt seemed just a bit radical ... and even less tasty than freshly squeezed cow.

"Liquid vitamin supplements are made only from plant ingredients."

That's it. Keep your cow. Keep your fish. Keep your frog...what's left of it. I'm going to for a pure liquid life.

About The Author

David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html

Read more humor articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.html

Get your liquid vitamins: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net

Info@thehappyguy.com


MORE RESOURCES:

cleveland.com

FDA warns of hidden drugs in OxyElite, Seven Slim weight loss supplements
cleveland.com
The FDA is warning consumers about more weight loss supplements that contain pharmaceutical drug ingredients-- OxyElite Pro and Seven Slim. They are just the most recent examples in a trend of weight loss and sexual enhancement supplements, which ...
Pulled twice from exchanges, OxyElite Pro supplement now found to contain ...Stars and Stripes
FDA Issues Warning on Four Tainted Weight Loss SupplementsMonthly Prescribing Reference
FDA Finds Prozac in USPlabs Supplement, but Company Claims it's a CounterfeitRegulatory Focus
RTT News -Youth Health Magzine
all 7 news articles »


Vitamin-Packed With Promises
New York Times
Despite the paucity of evidence, even medical experts can fall into marketing traps. Ms. Price's physical therapist is flabbergasted when she tells him that his favorite supplement pills aren't approved by the Food and Drug Administration, and he is ...



TIME

8 Things You Don't Know About Supplements
TIME
In early February, the New York Times reported that New York attorney general Eric T. Schneiderman launched an investigation into some of the largest supplement retailers. DNA testing revealed that 79% of supplements tested did not contain what the ...
Vitamin BSThe Atlantic
Vitamin and mineral supplements are big business, but their health benefits ...National Post

all 10 news articles »


Care2.com

4 Natural Supplements That Are as Powerful as Drugs
Care2.com
In fact, a few supplements are so effective that they are comparable to pharmaceutical drugs. Here are 4 natural health boosting supplements that are as powerful as drugs (if not more). 1. Berberine Drastically Lowers Blood Sugar Levels and Improves ...



Jackson Clarion Ledger

The doctors: The real facts about vitamin supplements
Jackson Clarion Ledger
Question: There's a lot of talk about how vitamin supplements are unnecessary or even harmful. Do you still think I should be taking a daily multivitamin? I'm 57 and in good health. — Harold F., Raleigh, North Carolina. Answer: We bet you've been ...

and more »


PR Plays Role in Making Sense of New Dietary Supplement Regulations
O'Dwyer's PR News
Dietary supplements have come under fire from state agencies, raising questions about what role they play in healthcare. PR pros now have a duty to participate in this conversation, to alleviate any potential confusion and help health-conscious ...



TheHorse.com

Researchers Study Supplement's Effects on Gastric Ulcers
TheHorse.com
Horse supplements are a funny thing—equestrians spend millions of dollars each year on them, but only a small percentage are backed with scientific studies showing their efficacy. So recently, a team of researchers set out to put some science behind ...



CBS News

New York expands investigation into herbal supplements
CBS News
ALBANY, N.Y. -- Three weeks after ordering four major retailers to pull store-brand herbal supplements off their shelves following DNA tests that found little or none of the listed herbs, New York's attorney general is targeting manufacturers of the ...
Investigation shows herbal supplements aren't all what they claimLocal 10

all 181 news articles »


New York AG Fires Round 2 Against Herbal Dietary Supplement Makers
Forbes
The office of New York State Attorney General Eric T. Schneiderman has targeted four major herbal and dietary supplement manufacturers to produce detailed documentation concerning the authenticity, purity, and marketing of herbal dietary supplements ...

and more »


Suit: Walgreen's supplements not what claimed
Alton Telegraph
EDWARDSVILLE – An Edwardsville law firm has filed a class action suit against the Walgreen's Drug Store chain, claiming the stores sell herbal supplements that actually contain such substances as rice, tropical houseplant and material originating in ...

and more »

Google News


Advertisement



Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

Copyright © 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.