Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

Keeping Perspective: When Bad Things Happen That Are Not Life Threatening


The very first thing to question is how important is this in the overall scheme of life? Compared to all of the things that have happened, are happening, and could happen in my life - how bad is this? Is it something that will impact the rest of my life? Is it temporary? Although the pain may not feel like it's temporary, it usually is. It's important to get a perspective. If your car has been stolen, that's a major nuisance that will cost you time and money to replace, but how does that compare to a diagnosis of cancer? If your marriage is ending, it can be extremely painful, but your life will continue no matter how bleak circumstances may seem. So wouldn't it be easier to find a way to transcend the pain and move on, let go, and take away the power from the negativity? Wouldn't it be more pleasant to look at the 'bright side'? and yes! There always is a flip side! It may not be one you believe in at the moment, it may not be where you want to focus, but there IS another perspective.

It's good to keep in mind - although during the painful period it's not always the first thought - that out of every crisis comes an opportunity. No matter how bleak or dire circumstances may seem, we can't change them, but we CAN control how we view them. Again, it's our perspective - our "Point of View" (P.O.V.)

Usually when something bad happens, we take it personally. For instance, when a boss is constantly yelling, demanding and being unreasonable, we feel as though we are not okay, our well-being is in question. In actuality, it's usually not personal - not about us. It feels as though it's coming AT you - so often, we say "Why me?" but it's not really ABOUT you. It's usually the other person venting, feeling frustrated angry and they are holding the emotion. You only take it on if you choose to do so. Eleanor Roosevelt said it beautifully: "You can't make someone feel inferior without their consent."

Now that the bad thing has happened, you have the ability to stop giving it power and energy and to begin feeling free and truly let it go. Only by holding on to the thoughts of the past, can they stay alive. What are you getting out of hanging onto it? The negativity can be draining your energy, taking up time, keeping you from other things. We may want revenge, may want to vent our anger, or choose to stay in the victim 'poor me' role, and feel sorry for ourselves. That's okay initially - briefly, but it becomes a waste of energy when life is continuing without us.

The main choice is to transcend it (not often easy when you are enmeshed in the pain) or if possible, do something about it... otherwise you are whining, Complaining seems like you are doing something about it when you really are NOT. What you are doing is feeding the pain or anger so that it stays alive and well. By letting it go, it dies; it disappears; it can be left behind. If you are unhappy with the way your boss or significant other treats you, you could possibly have a talk with him/her explaining how unhappy you are - how their behavior is affecting you; you can leave the job; you can look at the bright side - you HAVE a job, or you could continue to complain and experience the same old, same old. While there are many more options possible, the first one has to be how you view the situation - as that's the ONLY place where you have complete control. By coming into the present and focusing on the positives - no matter how difficult it may be, you are taking control and taking the first step towards freedom.

Invitation to Experiment:Think about the things that you are holding onto from the past. What is still swirling in your mind that is no longer truly relevant to you right now? Where can you change your point of view (P.O.V.) and affect a difference in how you feel about a situation? What have you been complaining about lately? Is there something you can do about it? What are you believing is directed at you? Can you see it from another perspective so that you can see that it's about the other person and not about you?

Marion Franklin - is a Professional Certified Life Coach who coaches individuals and groups regarding personal and professional change, focus, human relations, and conflict management. Marion has coached managers at major corporations including PepsiCo, Toys'R'Us, and Reader's Digest. She conducts and help clients design workshops and presentations, has been a featured presenter at meetings, retreats, and an ongoing Women's Workshop Series, has been cited in The Journal News and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on local Cable Television.http://www.lifecoachinggroup.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Trail Blazers-Rockets: Thomas Robinson says his motivation is winning, not ...
The Oregonian (blog)
Regardless of motivation, for Robinson to get his want, he likely will have to play a significant role. After a few up-and-down months with the Blazers, when he struggled to find his place in the rotation and accept his role in coach Terry Stotts ...

and more »


Pac-12.com

Roundup: Extra motivation for ASU spring game
Pac-12.com
We got some more spring football for ya on Saturday, and the fun begins in Tempe. It's always good to have a little fun with these things, and there is a new twist in this year's Arizona State spring game: The winning team gets steak, the losing team ...

and more »


Daily Mail

Gus Poyet used Jose Mourinho's record as motivation to beat Chelsea, reveals ...
Daily Mail
Sunderland defender John O'Shea revealed manager Gus Poyet had used Jose Mourinho's record as motivation for a win that significantly boosts their survival bid. 'Have a guess what the manager's team talk was?' he said. 'Be that team. Be that team to ...



Inquirer.net

'I don't need extra motivation': Heat, LeBron eager to start taking steps ...
Fox News
FILE - In this June 21, 2013 file photo, Miami Heat players including LeBron James, top center, celebrate after Game 7 of the NBA basketball championship game against the San Antonio Spurs, in Miami. As he walked off the court for the final time last ...
LeBron James: "I don't need extra motivation"Sports Mole
Motivated LeBron James preps for postseasonInquirer.net

all 1,340 news articles »


How To Motivate People: 4 Steps Backed By Science
TIME
When tested in national surveys against such seemingly crucial factors as intelligence, ability, and salary, level of motivation proves to be a more significant component in predicting career success. While level of motivation is highly correlated with ...



Janae Van Burch lets determination be her motivation
The Jersey Journal (blog)
Janae Van Burch, 13 has figured out in the 8th grade that she possesses the ability to determine her fate by consistently motivating and applying herself to whatever challenge she is facing. She has an active life including school, track and field ...



Melissa Joan Hart: Celebrity pressure is gym motivation
TVNZ
The 38-year-old actress - who gained 60lbs while pregnant with her third child in 2012 - recently lost a dramatic 40lbs and unveiled her impressive weightloss on Instagram earlier this month, but she insists it was her status in society that motivated ...

and more »


Telegraph.co.uk

Debate: Smoking weed affects young people's motivation, so is society too ...
The Independent
Young people who smoke marijuana may be at risk of “major” changes to the area of the brain that regulates motivation, a new study claims. Our full report on the study, carried out by researchers from Harvard University and Northwestern Medicine, can ...
Cannabis use linked to brain changes in emotion and motivationAuthint Mail

all 25 news articles »


Yoga promises relief, motivation for sexual-violence victims
OCRegister
Yoga promises relief, motivation for sexual-violence victims. The eight-week course aims to help survivors by giving them basic tools to manage anxiety and depression. Tweet. Most Popular. Cal State Fullerton baseball coach Vanderhook placed on leave ...



New York Daily News

Peyton Manning says he will use Broncos' Super Bowl heartache as motivation
New York Daily News
In his first public comments since the highest-scoring team in NFL history was destroyed by the Seattle Seahawks from the opening snap two months ago, Manning said the Broncos' 43-8 loss will serve as motivation in 2014. THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
Peyton Manning doesn't want to forget Super Bowl whipping as it provides ...Washington Times

all 204 news articles »

Google News


Advertisement



Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

Copyright 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.