Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

The Solutions to Lifes 10 Biggest Problems!


Every day clients tell me about their problems, often in great detail, and I've noticed patterns that show up over and over. For many people, life's problems are viewed as "not enough money" or "not enough time". For couples, the problems are often around "communication" or "parenting" or sex. They think if they only had more money or more time or better sex or a better job, things would be wonderful.

But it doesn't work that way, because these things are not the BIG PROBLEM. From my experience, I suggest life's really big problems are:

1. Tunnel Vision. The tendency to focus only on the immediate crisis or sore spot. Under stress, things look worse or more complex than they really are. The solution: Perspective. Ask if it will matter in 6 months. Ask what else is going on? How did I create this situation and, in an ideal world, what would I like to do about it?

2. Fear. The anxiety or terror that things will go badly, that we will fail or be embarrassed. The solution: Humor and Curiosity. Modern life has very few saber-tooth tigers. The situation is rarely life or death. Ask, What's the worst that can happen? What's the best? What can I learn? What would I do if I had no fear?

3. Confusion. The sense of being lost or unclear about our direction. The sense that we don't know our own priorities anymore. The solution: Responsible Choices. Choose your values and priorities and set your own path. Your life is yours. Check your moral compass, pick a direction and do something extraordinary!

4. Guilt. The belief that we have hurt or failed or sinned and deserve punishment. Guilt is either accurate, because sometimes we do behave badly, or it is false and simply an illusion. The solution: If we have transgressed, we must make restitution, ask forgiveness, learn from our error and move on. If it is false guilt, set it down as an unnecessary and irrational burden.

5. Shame. The belief that we are worth-less than others, that we have a terrible, incurable flaw. It is not that we have done something wrong (guilt), but that we are bad or wrong. The solution: Clear, rational thinking. Everyone has behaved badly, but no one was created badly! Any flaws only serve to make you stronger, more heroic or more compassionate toward others.

6. Loneliness. The belief that no one loves us, that no one cares and we must desperately cling to anyone who finds us attractive or acceptable. This creates dependency, not intimacy. The solution: Accurate Self-Assessment. Not everyone will love you, but many people will if they meet you, get to know you, and spend time working/playing along side you.

7. Resentment. Holding anger and refusing to move beyond real or imagined mistreatment in the past. Some people spend their whole lives as "victims", nurturing a terrible event in their past. The solution: Let go! Life is not fair and people do not always behave well or kindly. Use your trauma to make you wise, kind, gentle, and strong. Holding anger will not work.

8. Self-Doubt. The repeated, endless questioning of your own abilities, opinions or actions. The inability to take a stand, to act boldly, or to follow-through. The solution: Action! Think clearly, then take action and follow-through. Start small, but do it! You are the world's expert on your life! Use your wisdom to live well.

9. Stubbornness. The refusal or inability to re-assess a situation, change your mind, or admit you were wrong. The solution: Wisdom and Humility. Only a fool stays on a course that is headed for disaster! Search for new and better information, remain flexible, open and creative. When the situation changes, adjust accordingly and set a new course.

10. Addiction. Humans become addicted to drugs, but we also become addicted to our jobs, our opinions or our lifestyle. We can be addicted to people and need them rather than love them. The solution: Take a vacation! Periodically, walk in someone else's shoes. Break your habits, re-arrange your schedule, delegate those things that only you can do "right". Use habits and traditions to set you free, don't let habits enslave you!

Copyright 2003 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights Reserved. This article may be copied and used in your own newsletter or on your website as long as you include the following information: "Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools and resources for your success, including a great newsletter! It's all on his website at: http://www.philiphumbert.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Auburn Opener 'Huge Motivation' For Razorbacks
Arkansas News
FAYETTEVILLE — Arkansas guard Brey Cook and the Razorbacks have had plenty of reasons to stay motivated throughout college football's arduous offseason. The anticipation of a new year is always the first place to start, especially when a senior like ...

and more »


Rewarding teachers: The key difference from the military is motivation
The Seattle Times (blog)
[“Reward teachers like military officers,” Opinion, July 17]. The answer is simple: Military personnel want to be there. They are all motivated, because they signed up for it. Intrinsic student motivation is the single greatest factor that determines ...



If Cougs need motivation, here's plenty
BruinReportonline.com (subscription)
MOTIVATION COMES IN many different forms. And even the very best of athletes have been known to seek out any slight they can find, be it real, manufactured or imagined. If the 2014 Cougars are looking for any additional motivation on the cusp of fall ...



Monday motivation: Decide what you want today
ForexLive (blog)
Monday motivation: Decide what you want today. 8 hours ago | July 21st, 2014 12:41:04 GMT by Adam Button | 0 comments. It's a summertime Monday and the market has barely moved to start the week. Not many traders will be making fortunes today but you ...

and more »


WCPO

An electrifying answer to your fitness goals, motivation to come from new band ...
WCPO
An answer to your excuses and lack of motivation could come out soon. A new fitness band is designed to deliver an electric shock when you slack off – a jolt to get you going. The Pavlock fitness band, according to Victoria Wolk of Prevention Magazine ...



Need Motivation? Here's How To Talk To Yourself, According To Science
Huffington Post
That's a better way to motivate yourself than saying "I can do it," according to a new study that shows that giving yourself advice and encouragement in second-person before an upcoming task may actually boost your performance more than first-person ...

and more »


The Secret of Effective Motivation
New York Times
You might suppose that a scientist motivated by a desire to discover facts and by a desire to achieve renown will do better work than a scientist motivated by just one of those desires. Surely two motives are better than one. But as we and our ...



Science AAAS

One type of motivation may be key to success
Science AAAS
There are two types of motivation. Internal motivation drives people to achieve a goal for its own sake, whereas external motivation is not directly related to the goal itself. For example, if you are learning how to play the violin, you may be ...
Looking for a Promotion? Pure Motivations Produce the Best ResultsPacific Standard

all 6 news articles »


Eric Thomas and Tobe Nwigwe Are Mastering Motivation for Youth Culture
Huffington Post (blog)
"We didn't want to just be the face of motivation in terms of my presentations on YouTube. We want to make sure that in every form of motivation we had a presence." Tobe, who has developed a collaborative partnership with Eric in recent years, is ...



How to Motivate Yourself: 3 Steps Backed By Science
TIME
Why are we so good at thinking of what to do but so terrible at actually doing those things? The problem is you're skipping an essential step. Here's what it is… The Mistake Every Productivity System Makes. Productivity systems rarely take emotions ...

and more »

Google News


Advertisement



Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

Copyright 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.