|The Lounge | Champions | The Wire | Schedule | Audio | Arcade | The Top Ten | Historical | Email | Video|
The Solutions to Lifes 10 Biggest Problems!
Every day clients tell me about their problems, often in great detail, and I've noticed patterns that show up over and over. For many people, life's problems are viewed as "not enough money" or "not enough time". For couples, the problems are often around "communication" or "parenting" or sex. They think if they only had more money or more time or better sex or a better job, things would be wonderful.
But it doesn't work that way, because these things are not the BIG PROBLEM. From my experience, I suggest life's really big problems are:
1. Tunnel Vision. The tendency to focus only on the immediate crisis or sore spot. Under stress, things look worse or more complex than they really are. The solution: Perspective. Ask if it will matter in 6 months. Ask what else is going on? How did I create this situation and, in an ideal world, what would I like to do about it?
2. Fear. The anxiety or terror that things will go badly, that we will fail or be embarrassed. The solution: Humor and Curiosity. Modern life has very few saber-tooth tigers. The situation is rarely life or death. Ask, What's the worst that can happen? What's the best? What can I learn? What would I do if I had no fear?
3. Confusion. The sense of being lost or unclear about our direction. The sense that we don't know our own priorities anymore. The solution: Responsible Choices. Choose your values and priorities and set your own path. Your life is yours. Check your moral compass, pick a direction and do something extraordinary!
4. Guilt. The belief that we have hurt or failed or sinned and deserve punishment. Guilt is either accurate, because sometimes we do behave badly, or it is false and simply an illusion. The solution: If we have transgressed, we must make restitution, ask forgiveness, learn from our error and move on. If it is false guilt, set it down as an unnecessary and irrational burden.
5. Shame. The belief that we are worth-less than others, that we have a terrible, incurable flaw. It is not that we have done something wrong (guilt), but that we are bad or wrong. The solution: Clear, rational thinking. Everyone has behaved badly, but no one was created badly! Any flaws only serve to make you stronger, more heroic or more compassionate toward others.
6. Loneliness. The belief that no one loves us, that no one cares and we must desperately cling to anyone who finds us attractive or acceptable. This creates dependency, not intimacy. The solution: Accurate Self-Assessment. Not everyone will love you, but many people will if they meet you, get to know you, and spend time working/playing along side you.
7. Resentment. Holding anger and refusing to move beyond real or imagined mistreatment in the past. Some people spend their whole lives as "victims", nurturing a terrible event in their past. The solution: Let go! Life is not fair and people do not always behave well or kindly. Use your trauma to make you wise, kind, gentle, and strong. Holding anger will not work.
8. Self-Doubt. The repeated, endless questioning of your own abilities, opinions or actions. The inability to take a stand, to act boldly, or to follow-through. The solution: Action! Think clearly, then take action and follow-through. Start small, but do it! You are the world's expert on your life! Use your wisdom to live well.
9. Stubbornness. The refusal or inability to re-assess a situation, change your mind, or admit you were wrong. The solution: Wisdom and Humility. Only a fool stays on a course that is headed for disaster! Search for new and better information, remain flexible, open and creative. When the situation changes, adjust accordingly and set a new course.
10. Addiction. Humans become addicted to drugs, but we also become addicted to our jobs, our opinions or our lifestyle. We can be addicted to people and need them rather than love them. The solution: Take a vacation! Periodically, walk in someone else's shoes. Break your habits, re-arrange your schedule, delegate those things that only you can do "right". Use habits and traditions to set you free, don't let habits enslave you!
© Copyright 2003 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights Reserved. This article may be copied and used in your own newsletter or on your website as long as you include the following information: "Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools and resources for your success, including a great newsletter! It's all on his website at: http://www.philiphumbert.com
Syria strikes: Top expert questions Tony Abbott's motivation for air strikes ... - Sydney Morning Herald
Jr. Toppers football coach remembered for motivation, encouragement - Johnson City Press (subscription)
The Top 10 Creative Strategies for Moving into Action and For Getting Bottom Line Results
Your ability to move into action and to achieve bottom line results rests in the power of your thinking. These ten strategies will support you in transforming your desires into concrete action.
Achieving Your Dreams
Have you achieved your dreams? Dreams are an important part of our lives and should not be ignored. Our dreams inspire us to achieve unbelievable deeds, create stunning works of art, bring to life the impossible and give us hope and strength to look toward tomorrow with optimism and determination.
A Turning Point
19 years ago, I was a young working mother at 28, independent and working for a prestigious company, until circumstances made me choose between family and career. After going through weighing my options, I chose to become a full-time Homemaker because I believed that family should come first if the situation would permit.
What Makes a Champion?
Imagine for a moment that you are a champion. You are the best in your town .
Commit To Applying Lessons Learned
When growing up as a child, the concept of learning alesson becomes so routine, that many of us just set it asideas unimportant like many other principles that otherwiseshould be heeded.It is so true that all of us are mortal.
Motivation By Spring Cleaning
Spring cleaning is a great motivator. Why confine it to Spring?It is arguable that we should not only give gifts at Christmas and make resolutions at the New Year.
Are Your Dreams A Day Late And A Dollar Short?
One of the greatest challenges facing our ever intensive quest for the impossible dream is to make it across the finish line even if it's only by the skin of our teeth. Many outstanding accomplishments have been started just to see our vision die one foot short of the goal line.
Finding Your Authentic Path
"Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light." ~ Theodore RoethkeThe last of the lazy, hazy days of summer are upon us.
7 Hot Tips for Self Improvement Part 1
Have you ever imagined that life could be a lot better and more fulfilling than yours is right now? Are you eager to learn a self improvement technique that will make it so?If you are read on.I am going to lay down 7 simple steps for your self improvement plan.
Work, Action, Movement -You Cannot Get Anywhere Without It
"You can't get anywhere in anything without work, action, movement..
Why To Dump Will Power And Get Motivated The Easy Way
For over 20 years I have been fascinated by the possibilities that exist for creating rapid and lasting personal change. And I learned some great tools for personal change.
Stop Holding Yourself Back
Try this exercise. Take a sheet of paper and list down all the emotions you can think of? Take a couple of minutes and if possible, keep writing for as long as you can? Come on, do it.
Can Pain Be A Motivator?
Carol was a new client. She had been looking for a job for several weeks and wasn't having much success.
Personal Motivation: Without Struggle There Is No Progress
As each day ends and another begins, the words of Frederick Douglas ask us as individuals to recognize the relationships between life's daily struggles."The whole history of the progress of human liberty shows that all concessions, yet made to her august claims have been born of earnest struggle.
Self-Improvement-Inspiration: How to Exit Your Own Rat Race
We can all get in a rut from time to time. Who hasn't had a moment in their lives where you've asked yourself the question: "Why am I doing this?"Whether it's who you've become, the business you are in, your career, relationships, where you live or all of the above - sometimes you realise you're just not where you want to be - and you're not sure how you got there! It sure feels like your own version of a rat race though.
Getting Started is the Toughest Part of the Job
One of the most challenging things about starting on a new project, goal or task usually isn't the planning, the thinking about it and the mapping it out. It is the doing! Actually taking the first step is often the most difficult part of any new endeavor.
Information Age: Knowledge is King
In our information age, having the right knowledge at the right time can make the difference between failure and success. Knowledge, gained through experience makes one an expert in any field.
Stop Procrastination--Just Do It!
In this article I'll talk about the reason that stops most of Internet entrepreneurs from succeeding online.Have you ever wondered why only about 5% of us are actually making money online? Have you ever think about the main reason that stops the other 95% of them?If you are like me, I'm sure that it happens to you to read ebook after ebook, report after report and newsletter after newsletter searching for the missing key that will open the gates to your richness.
The Dawn On The Nile Valley Has Secrets To Tell! (3)
Me and Mao Tse-Tung!My first political experience was with Mao Tse-Tung 1968-69.That was exactly before the second Sudanese military dictator Ga'far Numeri took over power through his coup d'etat in May 25, 1969.
Motivation: 3 Suggestions for Living a Life of Purpose, On Purpose
"There's so many roads that seem, To lead down to the sea.I wonder which road, will be the right one for me?"- SeawindI heard these lyrics on an old jazz tape the other day.
Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us
Copyright © 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.