Motivation: How to Get Unstuck

Have you ever felt stuck?

You know the feeling - you're not happy with a situation, you know it could be better, you've even tried to make it better. But all of your best efforts still end with the "same old-same old" feeling - STUCK!

Well, you are not alone, it's a very big club.

In fact, when I ask this question in seminars, just about everyone raises their hand. I have a strong suspicion hose who don't raise their hand are the folks who would never raise their hand in public no matter what I ask.

If so many folks feel this way, then why aren't more people finding ways to get unstuck. The simple answer is that we are not taught how to solve this problem. There's isn't a course that I'm aware of called Getting Unstuck 101.

So we wind up doing the same things, that don't work, over and over again and expect different results. It's similar to what we do when we get our car stuck in the sand, mud or snow: if we don't get out on the first try, we spin our wheels, digging the hole deeper and deeper and we get "stucker and stucker."

Another good illustration of staying stuck can be found in a story called "What to Do When Your Horse Dies."

If the horse you've been riding has died, then get off the horse!

But instead of getting off, we try:

?buying a stronger whip
?switching riders
?trying a new bit or bridle
?moving the horse to a new location
?saying "this is the way we've always ridden this horse"
?form a commission to study the horse
?visit other places where they ride dead horses more efficiently
?blame the horse's parents
?complain about the state of horses these days."

Why in the world would we try any of the above solutions with a dead horse? Yet we do it all the time. In our stubbornness, we keep trying to solve a problem with the exact same kind of thinking that created the problem in the first place.

How to Get Un-Stuck

Now for the good stuff - the tools and solutions. Here are just a few suggestions:

Albert Einstein said it much better than I ever could: "You can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created the problem."

We all can change our thinking by asking better questions.

Change the lame sounding-dead roach-victim whining "why does this always happen to me-it's not fair-what did I do to deserve this" garbage question to "in how many ways can I creatively get unstuck while benefiting myself and others and enjoy the process?"

Use unusual, creative, silly, never-tried-it-that-way-before solutions. Remember that "every unattempted solution fails."

Ask for help. I know this idea sounds so un-American-I can do it myself-I can handle it-I don't need any one-proud and independent blather, but it works, just about every time. Just make sure you ask the right people: instead of asking those that are just as stuck as you, ask those who have been where you are and found their way to the other side.

A word of caution, however. While there is much to gain by getting un-stuck, there are a few things you must be prepared to give up as well. Things like:

?not being responsible/accountable for where you are
?no one expecting anything from you
?the helpless victim role
?the security and safety of the familiar

But if you are ready to give these things up, then let's get going, it's time to get unstuck and go live. It's like the old saying, "a ship is safe in the harbor, but that's not for what ships are made."

Happy sailing, and keep the change!

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Past, future motivate Spartan wrestling Fox11online.com Berceau's top-ranked team, according to WIWrestling.com, has plenty of motivation to go around. They can look at the walls, with plaques of former team champions and the names of individual champions painted on walls. They can also look across their ... and more »

Help Net Security

Hacktivism Trumps Money as Motivation for Denial-of-Service Attacks PCWorld Arbor also reported that two-thirds of all DDoS attacks globally were motivated by politics, ideology, nihilism or vandalism. In addition, it found that most network operators continue to avoid engagement with law enforcement authorities when they're ... DDoS attacks motivated by politics not criminality, Arbor Networks findsTechworld.com 'Hactivism' now the leading driver of DDoS attacksiTWire The Arbor Networks(R) 7th Annual Worldwide Infrastructure Security Report ...MarketWatch (press release) Dark Reading -PR Web (press release) all 52 news articles »

Motivated Zags Face Tough Saint Mary's Team on Thursday Sports and Weather Right Now As if they needed any more motivation to play Saint Mary's this week in Spokane. The Zags welcome the No. 16 Gales to town on Thursday. Saint Mary's is currently on a 12-game win streak, and they have only lost two games all season long. and more »

Chattanooga Times Free Press

UGA quarterback signee Faton Bauta motivated Chattanooga Times Free Press His parents came to the United States from Albania when they were teenagers, so there is that motivation, too. "I don't really know too many Albanian quarterbacks," he said. "Hopefully I'll be the first one." and more »

Motivation camp on bird water held E-Pao.net "We've spotted these birds in Loktak and Ungamen wetland areas since last year", says Dr Kh Shamungou,noted environmentalist while sharing his experience on water bird census during a day-long motivation camp on water bird census 2012 here at Toubul ... Bird census to begin from Feb 11KanglaOnline all 3 news articles »

Find motivation to exercise by setting reachable goals ScrippsNews By LAVINIA RODRIGUEZ, Tampa Bay Times Motivation is something that people find to be mysterious and out of reach. That's especially true when it comes to exercising consistently instead of in the start-and-stop fashion that many people find frustrating ...

'Biggest Loser' Dolvett Quince's Best Advice For Staying Motivated Through The ... Huffington Post With all the layers of winter gear we're wearing and swimsuit season some four months away, it's hard to stay motivated to hit the gym this time of year. (Unless, of course you're one of the Serena Williams of the world.) But if anyone can drum up some ... and more »

Hartford Courant

Motivate Students, And Achievement Follows Hartford Courant But among the ideas that have been advanced so far, one central question goes largely unanswered: "What must we do to ensure that every student is personally engaged in learning and motivated to produce quality work in school?" Without a robust answer ... and more »

Miesha Tate is motivated to bring the fight to 'delusional' Ronda Rousey MMAmania.com Anything that she says is motivation, definitely." Everyone knows Rousey has ridiculous judo, jiu-jitsu and submission skills. Tate comes from a wrestling background, but she believes it's more than just her wrestling that gives her the edge: "That's ... and more »

Daily News & Analysis

Kimi tired of motivation queries Planet-F1 The Finn, though, must sometimes wonder if he is stuck in 2009 as he is often asked the same question: are you motivated to race in F1 again? When the question about his passion for F1 came up during an interview in Monday, the Finn replied: "That was ... Boullier: Raikkonen fully motivatedThe Press Association Kimi Raikkonen says motivation has never been an issue with himDaily News & Analysis Raikkonen: Motivation never an issueYahoo! Eurosport UK ESPN F1 all 474 news articles »