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Motivation - How to Design a Life


"Have you ever felt like you've become the worst possible version of yourself?" - Tom Hanks in "You've Got Mail"

Have you ever been relaxing at the movies, enjoying a nice lite movie, only to get blown away by a line said in passing?

That's what happened recently as my wife and I watched "You've Got Mail" with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. The couple are having an ongoing email courtship, exchanging messages in the wee hours of the night, when this question comes out of nowhere: "have you ever felt like you've become the worst possible version of yourself?"

And I thought we were just going to the movies.

I think the question is so striking because most of us have felt that way at some point in our lives. I know I have, and so have lots of the folks that tell me their stories every day.

Here's a story emailed to me (thanks Aunt Jan) that does a nice job of setting the stage for designing the kind of life you want:

"An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter.

"This is your house," he said, "my gift to you."

What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently.

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It's the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project."

Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today." - Author Unknown.

I'll close with these two questions:

1 - Are you happy with the results of the attitudes/choices/decisions you've made that got you here?

2 - What do you need to do, beginning today, that will support you in being happy with the attitudes/choices/decisions you've made 3 months from now? six months? a year? 5 years? 10 years? and the rest of your life?

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.


MORE RESOURCES:

The Secret of Effective Motivation
New York Times
You might suppose that a scientist motivated by a desire to discover facts and by a desire to achieve renown will do better work than a scientist motivated by just one of those desires. Surely two motives are better than one. But as we and our ...



#Healthy Me: Why motivation meltdown has me setting a new goal
A Healthier Michigan
I belong to a local Grand Rapids running club. I've run a marathon and many Riverbank Run 25Ks. I've gutted out a.m. boot camp classes and Pure Barre sessions. I don't drink pop (often) and I tend to gravitate toward healthier foods, even cooking many ...



Policeman's personal motivation for turning in daughter-in-law for a minor ...
Washington Post
Scherr v. City of Chicago (7th Cir. July 2, 2014) tells a lurid tale of intense family hostility (either bred or, more likely, exacerbated by tragedy) — of course, assuming the facts are as plaintiff alleges — but also raises some interesting legal ...
No Fault in Vengeful Warrant on Grieving MomCourthouse News Service

all 10 news articles »


BHS Football Off-Season Motivation
KXNet.com
And Brody Rohlfs added, "It's a tradition that's been built for a long time, and I think every year they guys just try to fight to keep the tradition alive and the coaches do a great job of motivating you every day, and I think everyone always wants to ...



Science AAAS

One type of motivation may be key to success
Science AAAS
There are two types of motivation. Internal motivation drives people to achieve a goal for its own sake, whereas external motivation is not directly related to the goal itself. For example, if you are learning how to play the violin, you may be ...
Looking for a Promotion? Pure Motivations Produce the Best ResultsPacific Standard

all 6 news articles »


More on motivation and money
TheStreet.com
In my last post, I talked about motivation and money. Motivation is a huge yet under-discussed concept in personal finance, I think. While big wins may be the quickest way to wealth, that doesn't mean you'll reach your goals overnight. Even if you have ...



Telstra chief in push for motivation
Herald Sun
TELSTRA chief David Thodey has taken aim at Australia's venture capital industry, saying start-up companies chasing investment face a challenge akin to “pulling teeth”. Mr Thodey said Telstra wanted to encourage more innovation in business but ...

and more »


PHILLIES NOTEBOOK: Sizemore promotion could be motivation for Brown
The Mercury
Grady Sizemore should be called up by the Philadelphia Phillies in the coming days. The move could provide some motivation for a struggling Domonic Brown, who had one of his best offensive games in a victory over Milwaukee on Tuesday night. (AP Photo).
Brown ready for a little competitionDaily Local News

all 5 news articles »


LeBron James Provides Motivation For Cavaliers To Make Deals
Hartford Courant
Two trades by the Cleveland Cavaliers on Wednesday open the door for the potential return of LeBron James to his home state. As the four-time MVP was set to sit down with Miami Heat president Pat Riley, the Cavaliers dealt away three first-round picks ...



Motivation
The Week UK
Motivation is working to change all this by offering wheelchairs that are specifically designed for the terrain of developing countries. While our training programmes help people see beyond their disability, providing them with the confidence they need ...


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