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Motivation - How to Design a Life


"Have you ever felt like you've become the worst possible version of yourself?" - Tom Hanks in "You've Got Mail"

Have you ever been relaxing at the movies, enjoying a nice lite movie, only to get blown away by a line said in passing?

That's what happened recently as my wife and I watched "You've Got Mail" with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. The couple are having an ongoing email courtship, exchanging messages in the wee hours of the night, when this question comes out of nowhere: "have you ever felt like you've become the worst possible version of yourself?"

And I thought we were just going to the movies.

I think the question is so striking because most of us have felt that way at some point in our lives. I know I have, and so have lots of the folks that tell me their stories every day.

Here's a story emailed to me (thanks Aunt Jan) that does a nice job of setting the stage for designing the kind of life you want:

"An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter.

"This is your house," he said, "my gift to you."

What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently.

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It's the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project."

Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today." - Author Unknown.

I'll close with these two questions:

1 - Are you happy with the results of the attitudes/choices/decisions you've made that got you here?

2 - What do you need to do, beginning today, that will support you in being happy with the attitudes/choices/decisions you've made 3 months from now? six months? a year? 5 years? 10 years? and the rest of your life?

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.


MORE RESOURCES:

Stanford Report

Stanford research shows that working together boosts motivation
Stanford Report
Stanford research shows that working together boosts motivation. Stanford faculty member Gregory Walton found that when people are treated by others as partners working together on a task, their motivation increases – even if they worked on their own.



Chron.com (blog)

Some Rockets have extra motivation in summer workouts
Chron.com (blog)
Though the Toyota Center practice could have been filled with the usual mix of prospects and veterans of recent summer leagues, this off-season those players have been motivated by the knowledge that some will still be playing when the off-season moves ...

and more »


Phys.Org

Research shows that working together boosts motivation
Phys.Org
In five experiments, Carr and Walton found that these "cues of working together" increased "intrinsic motivation" as people work on their own. Intrinsic motivation refers to behaviors people want to do – what they enjoy and find intrinsically rewarding ...
Working together boosts motivationScienceBlog.com (blog)

all 2 news articles »


Morgan State football using snub in MEAC preseason poll as motivation
Baltimore Sun
“It's just motivation. At the end of the day, I've never seen a preseason ranking dictate what a team does during the season. It's all just speculation. All we have to do is come out and prove those guys wrong. At the end of the day, they don't know ...

and more »


Forbes

Detroit's LevelEleven Revs Sales Motivation
Forbes
What do you do as a manager when the conventional means of motivating your sales team—competitions, prizes, inspirational speeches—fall flat? How can you leverage technology to help rally and focus your team around company initiatives, product ...



Late fumble served as motivation for Morgan State's Herb Walker Jr.
Baltimore Sun
By the middle of the fourth quarter of Morgan State's 28-3 win over Bowie State at Hughes Stadium on Saturday, running back Herb Walker Jr. had gained 118 yards, marking the third straight game in which the team had a 100-yard rusher. But with 3:27 ...

and more »


velonews.competitor.com

Monday Motivation: The 4-Minute Mile Jetpack
velonews.competitor.com
We're familiar with wearable jetpacks that make you airborne, but here's an invention that targets groundspeed instead. Students at Arizona State University have designed a jetpack to help soldiers run a 4-minute mile. The project, titled 4MM and ...

and more »


4 Science-Backed Ways To Motivate Yourself To Work Out
Huffington Post
Over time, the motivation becomes intrinsic, as the brain begins to associate sweat and pain with the surge of endorphins -- those feel-good chemicals released in the brain that are responsible for that "I-feel-freaking-amazing" rush you get after a ...

and more »


Motivation for your morning workout routines
Today.com
Get set the night before. Eliminate decision-making by setting out your workout clothes the night before so you're not searching for a pair of socks in the morning. Fill your water bottle and keep it in the fridge. The most motivating tip: Set your ...



What is Islamic State's Motivation
Wall Street Journal (blog)
Does Islamic State want a fight with the western world? Jerry Seib, WSJ, explains the thinking behind some of ISIS' actions. The Wall Street Journal This Morning is a nationally syndicated radio show bringing you “America's First News” on over 200 ...


Google News


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