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17 More Things Ive Noticed Along the Way So Far
Three areas of life in which we get very little training, yet we all seem to have a strong opinion on: marriage, parenting and money. When all is said and done, it really is much simpler to succeed than to fail. Two A's for improving your marriage: awareness and anticipation. Awareness of how you are feeling -- anticipation of how your spouse might be feeling. Today's choices are tomorrow's character. In other countries people die for the right to vote. Our country may die someday because so many don't care to vote. There are many books written on how to deal with difficult people. But do we ever pause to consider the shocking possibility that we might be someone's "difficult person"? Let me see if I have this right: The father of one hockey player beats to death the father of another hockey player because a kid's game was getting too violent? The scary thing is that kind of thinking is not as rare as we might like to believe. Thousands of years from now, when they dig up our civilization, they will wonder about this culture that seemed to worship boxes. Sound strange? I'm talking about the big box that you find the family-room furniture arranged around, and the little boxes found in several other rooms: the TV set. Watching other people living is not living. Many people misread a very important part of the Declaration of Independence. We don't have the right to happiness, we have the right to the pursuit of happiness. Kind of goes against the notion that we are entitled by just showing up. The best way to make a problem worse is to attempt to solve it with the same kind of thinking that created the problem. You can accomplish much more than you can't. If you don't want your children to say it, do it or think it, you had better not say it, do it or think it. Two of the most useless words are "if only." Two cures for the "if onlys" are to do the necessary things today that eliminate the possibility of "if only" tomorrow. It's also important to remember that what might have been is not necessarily what would have been. Best way to communicate poorly -- focus on making yourself understood first. Best way to communicate well -- focus on understanding the other person first. Life has its moments of unexpected blessings out of unexpected problems. Our curious little son bent down to pick up a small cactus in the parking-lot median. As I placed him in the car seat, with him wailing and me wondering how to get the thorns out, and how to explain it to my wife, up walks his pediatrician, who expertly removes the thorns. Our children can be wonderfully humbling mirrors. After a prolonged temper tantrum resulted in our son missing out on a fun event, I actually heard this coming out of my mouth: "When you decide to stay angry you can miss out on a lot of good stuff." Best quote I've heard lately, from Pastor Rick Warren: "If you are burning the candle at both ends, you may not be as bright as you think you are." Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
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