Motivation; 5 Steps to Get the Changes You Want
Q: I just read your column in today's' Greensboro News and Record. For the last few years I've been struggling with change, and found your suggestions about "change tools" to be useful. I was wondering if you have a favorite "change tool", and if you would share it with us in a column?
I'm glad you liked the column on change and found it useful for you. And I do have a favorite "change tool", and it's called "the 3 Picture Technique."
Here are the steps:
1. Specifically define a problem that you are committed to changing.
2. In your own imagination, create three pictures of yourself in the following situations:
How the problem got started - it doesn't have to be an exact date like November 5th, 1992. Just your own sense of when and how this problem began.
How it is now - include what is painful and uncomfortable. This will increase your leverage and motivation for change.
How you would like it to be - create a picture, in the near future, when this problem is solved and things are like you would want them to be.
3. Pretend that we can set up a conference call between these three pictures, as if these three people could talk to each other.
4. Create a conversation between the you now and the you when the problem got started. If you could talk to the person you were when the problem began, how would you answer these questions:
What have you learned about this situation since it began? After you have answered that question, it's important to remember that you have survived and are therefore a resilient person.
If you could send that person a letter entitled "Things I Knew When I Was You?", what would you say?
5. Now let's have you talk with the you in the near future, when the problem is solved and things are how you would like them to be. Looking through that future person's eyes, answer the following questions:
What does the person in the future know that you don't know quite yet?
If you could walk out to your mailbox today and get a letter from the you in the future (I don't know how you would do the postage on it!), entitled "things I wish I knew when I was you", what would it say?
What are the very next steps and actions to take to head in that direction?
This technique accomplishes at least two important things:
1) It allows you to clean up the past and remove things that are blocking you from changing, and
2) Provides you with clear direction and actions to get the changes you desire.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
Mindfulness and Birthdays: Surprising Moments
The first week of May is a big birthday time for my family. My husband's birthday is May 3rd, and my oldest daughter's is May 6th.
Beyond Procrastination - 8 Questions To Ask Yourself
Why am I constantly putting things off? Why don't I do the things I'm "supposed" to do, but don't really want to? Why do I always seem to be forcing myself to do things? Whether it's chores at home, work for school, or projects at work, how do I get beyond procrastination? Most often, something is operating "underneath" the procrastination. Asking yourself these nine questions and spending some conscious time reflecting on your responses can help you uncover why you are resisting doing what needs to be done and support you to move beyond procrastination.
Dont You Quit!
"A man who has nothing to die for is not fit to live." -Martin LutherYou sat in that secret corner of your room.
Are You Lacking Self-Discipline? - Part 1
A man does not live until he begins to discipline himself; he merely exists. Like an animal he gratifies his desires and pursues his inclinations just where they may lead him.
Employee Motivation Checklist - Ten Measures of Success
In the form of a simple easy to use checklist, you can score how well you are doing out of 10. Better still, ask them.
What Are You Waiting For?
It's the new millenium. Are you ready to finally realize your dream? I'm talking about the desire that you carry deep down inside of you that you attribute to some adolescent fancy.
If Theres Money in a Dead Mouse...
My 4 year old son was very excited. I had promised himto tell a wonderful story tonight.
Commit To Applying Lessons Learned
When growing up as a child, the concept of learning alesson becomes so routine, that many of us just set it asideas unimportant like many other principles that otherwiseshould be heeded.It is so true that all of us are mortal.
After the Storm......
Have you ever wondered why is it that after we go through a bad phase in life we seem to come out better for it? It use topuzzle me too until recently after I stared down a gunman'snozzle I realized why.If you have ever been in a situation like I did and survived totell the tale you would be more than grateful for everything.
The Untold Truth About Mentors, and Why You DONT Need One
I think there is a misconception about what a mentor truly is. A mentor is someone who guides you, someone wise, someone you trust.
Motivation: 3 Keys to Lasting Change
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."There are times in life when trying to change can be a strain.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
It is not just new age hype, studies in the area of quantum physics are leading to a growing acceptance of the theory that we can control the outcome of events by concentrating on changing our thought patterns and focusing on our preferred result.The thoughts we sow are as influential as our actions on the harvest we reap.
My Grandmother Never Had a Degree
There were four generations sitting at the kitchen table, smacking on Mommy's delicious meal-somehow we never made it to the dining room. I smiled to myself when I thought of how fabulous this truly was--sitting here, next to my grandmother, my mother, my father, my sister, my children and my niece-celebrating Mother's Day.
Courage Is A Gift
"It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. -Epictetus, the 1st Century Greek PhilosopherCourage is daring to be? Brave.
Around The World On $80
Jules Vernes adventure story, Around the World in 80 Days, stimulated the imagination of 26-year-old Robert Christopher."Why," he asked himself, "can't I go around the world on $80.
Boost Your Bottom Line by Asking Powerful Questions
"He who asks questions cannot avoid the answers."-African ProverbPowerful questions yield powerful answers.
Discover The Spark That Motivates You In Business and Life
Can There Be Any Other Business Like Your Own Business?"Whatever you persistently allow to occupy your thoughts will magnify in your life."-Dennis Kimbro, PhD.
Nothing To Lose
I stormed out of the office and headed for the patio area in front of my office building. It was October 2003, and everybody knew what happened.
6 Simple Steps To Accelerating your Learning
What is Accelerated learning?Simply put, accelerated learning is the ability to absorb and understand new information quickly, and also to be able to retain that information.It involves the process of unleashing the abilities within us.
Do You have a Dream?
Do you find yourself sitting at work longing to be somewhere else and doing something you have always wanted to do?We've all had moments like that and my moment came in 1995.I can vividly remember the day it happened.