Bookmark Website  | Free Registration  | The Team
The Lounge  | Champions  | The Wire |  Schedule |  Audio  |  Arcade  |  The Top Ten  |  Historical  |  Email  |  Video

A Turning Point


19 years ago, I was a young working mother at 28, independent and working for a prestigious company, until circumstances made me choose between family and career. After going through weighing my options, I chose to become a full-time Homemaker because I believed that family should come first if the situation would permit.

However, I had a wake-up call four years ago. It happened on a lazy weekday afternoon when my 10 yr. old daughter arrived from school. As an affectionate habit, I'd kiss and hug her, join her in her room, and help her settle down. It's great hearing how her day has been.

But instead of receiving reciprocal warmth, I got a glowering look plus a creased forehead for a bonus. Although I've been noticing her surly attitude whenever I approached her after school in the past months, such display of rejection sank only during that unsuspecting, lazy, afternoon.

After getting used to doing things together or simply being there for her 24hours a day, a sudden realization that I need to respect certain boundaries did put me off balance. 'Privacy and 'independence' suddenly become the words of the day. She wanted less of the 'intrusive' side of her mom. Her notebooks, slum books, even notepads gradually became confidential.

Gone are the days when she wrote loving notes on mother's day except when it has been required in class, and whispered 'I love you's' for no reason at all. Gone are the days when she wants to be cuddled, to listen to bedtime stories, to sleep through sweet lullabies only I could hum dotingly.

The person in front of me that lazy afternoon was neither an adolescent nor a child. I simply saw a daughter distancing herself from me. And with my son already submerged in his own world, seeing my daughter little by little wanting less of me can really hurt and make me rethink of my role as a Mother and Homemaker, and comparing then and now.

A Change of Direction

I guess with more time in my hand, I've slipped into a limbo, doing things I've been so used to doing but sensing there's no need for them.

With much encouragement from a long time friend and classmate, I was able to pull myself out of that dramatic lull. We did a little brainstorming, assessing some things I can and cannot do at past 40 years of age.

And my love and talent for writing was brought up. The work was the most appropriate and less demanding thing I can indulge in at that moment. The best part was I can work from home, earn a little with less disruptions to the demands of home life, and I learn and grow in the process.

Through this friend's prodding, I started to reconsider the idea and I discovered my fervor to share through writing still burns inside.

I pursued writing although I was apprehensive as I started out late in a competitive field.

Imagining myself as a 'Published Writer' elicited fear, uncertainty, and embarrassment. It is a title or label that can be intimidating and with inherent criteria that may require much to live up to. But I went ahead.

I did not rely on mere talent. I worked on acquiring additional knowledge by investing in books, endless search on the internet, and getting educated through correspondence courses. I practically walked on a self-help journey to reinventing myself.

Answers From Within

After close to five years of writing online and in print, I can say that I made use of that 'wake-up call' wisely without going through much drastic changes.

It is amazing how we could at times come up with a tremendous list of put-downs for ourselves. No wonder some people achieve so less in a lifetime despite being so talented, innately intelligent and with bountiful opportunities right before their eyes.

Sometimes, we need wake-up calls to push us and remind us of latent skills and forgotten passions which become our tools for reinventing our lives.

We all have a significant part of us that get muddled with the chaos of everyday tasks. It is a part of us that lies dormant in the midst of routine responsibilities.

And it is never too late to tap them, to work on them and to revive them.

I've also learned to listen to and recognize messages not readily discernible.

These days, I may be in for another wake up call because it is midlife for me and adolescence for her. There will be more periods of realization and crossroads ahead for both of us. We will have our own crisis to face and ways to understand and tolerate each other.

But before the next wake up call arrives, I am busy being a mom, a wife, and a Writer at the moment, too occupied to take my daughter's intermittent adolescent rejections seriously.

About The Author

Grace V. Planas, Filipino Chinese living in the Philippines, is a Homemaker and part time Freelance Writer. Formerly a Contributing Writer of Working Woman Magazine (Phils), most of her works are currently published online. She writes Poetry, Psychology/Self Help, informative as well as inspirational pieces. Some of her works can be read at TheWriter'sLife, Absolute-DebateDesk, HiddenTalent, The Techmage, Poetrypoem.com, The Ezine Dot Net, LongStoryShort, 1stHolisticLiving.com, Uselessknowledge.com and more.

She holds a degree in Accounting, has completed correspondence courses on Freelance Journalism and Adult Psychology. She has two teenage kids, a boy and a girl, and an extremely supportive husband.

She's been writing since she was in grade school and was a Staffer and later Literary Editor for her School's College paper.

grace21857@netscape.net


MORE RESOURCES:

KARE

Motivation Monday: Introduction to Crossfit
KARE
... for a challenge and a chance to break out of their routine. In today's Motivation Monday, Chris Freytag takes us to My Town Fitness to introduce us to Crossfit. Read or Share this story: http://www.kare11.com/story/life/2014/07/14 ...



The Secret of Effective Motivation
New York Times
You might suppose that a scientist motivated by a desire to discover facts and by a desire to achieve renown will do better work than a scientist motivated by just one of those desires. Surely two motives are better than one. But as we and our ...



World Cup: Netherlands, Brazil seek motivation in consolation game
The Journal News / Lohud.com
BRASILIA, Brazil – Dutch coach Louis Van Gaal is trying to motivate his players for the third-place match against Brazil by giving them the mission of becoming the only Dutch squad to finish a World Cup unbeaten in regular play. Brazil coach Luiz ...

and more »


Science AAAS

One type of motivation may be key to success
Science AAAS
There are two types of motivation. Internal motivation drives people to achieve a goal for its own sake, whereas external motivation is not directly related to the goal itself. For example, if you are learning how to play the violin, you may be ...
Looking for a Promotion? Pure Motivations Produce the Best ResultsPacific Standard

all 6 news articles »


Daniel Sturridge to use last season's disappointment as motivation
HITC
Daniel Sturridge has claimed that he is using the disappointment of last season's runners-up finish as motivation for the new campaign. Liverpool almost ended their 24-year wait for a league title in swashbuckling fashion, but they were eventually ...

and more »


How to Motivate Yourself: 3 Steps Backed By Science
TIME
Why are we so good at thinking of what to do but so terrible at actually doing those things? The problem is you're skipping an essential step. Here's what it is… The Mistake Every Productivity System Makes. Productivity systems rarely take emotions ...

and more »


TODAYonline

How confidence boosts motivation
TODAYonline
Helping them to keep up their confidence and motivation can become a challenge. I have written recently on how to build confidence in children, making the point that by incorporating appropriate goals and feedback into our education systems, we can ...

and more »


The Guardian

Wanting it enough: why motivation is the key to language learning
The Guardian
Researchers who study the relationship between language learning and motivation explain that some learners are "intrinsically" motivated. These learners might want to learn a language to a higher level so that they can understand their grandparents who ...



Loss of Motivation
PsychCentral.com (blog)
Lacking in motivation is not something only people with mental illness deal with…it is a human thing. We all are driven to be successful from a young age, be it from our parents, friends, the media, or even something deep down inside us. When you have ...



World Cup notebook | Brazil's motivation: saving face after blowout
Columbus Dispatch
The Brazil players could not be more motivated ahead of today's World Cup third-place game against the Netherlands, captain Thiago Silva said, and will be fighting to restore their “honor and dignity.” The Brazilians' hopes of winning a sixth World Cup ...

and more »

Google News


Advertisement



Section Site Map - Submit News - Feedback - Comments - Advertise with Us

Copyright 2006 Luminati Inc. All rights reserved.