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#21
Old 01-03-2013, 04:17 PM
THE REED™
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I kept trying to sip my coffee whilst reading the OP... I couldn't do it
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#22
Old 01-03-2013, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by !! Anorak View Post
So I was talking to this girl at work today by pm. And this girl... I love the bitch. I tell you how much I fancy her, shall I? I'd love to cut her head off and use it as a Pez dispenser, that's how much. I'd go around with it on a stick and use her severed head to give me fellatio whenever I wanted it... but I'd never make her give it to anyone else. I'd drown in a sea of her purest vag juice, before brain fucking her into pure retardation, my glistening bell destroying her hypothalamus until she has the mental age of a three-year-old, using my classy chat up line "what's on your mind? Oh yeah, that's right.. it's my cock.". That's love.
If she was capable of the whole pez thing, that would be enough for me to overlook the spelling handicap.
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#23
Old 01-03-2013, 05:06 PM
rorymac
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Originally Posted by !! Anorak View Post
But you guys probably know by now that I've got a big thing about spelling and grammar. See, to me, it's just a very, very simple thing. It's a sign that says "I'm an adult, and when I read, it's not 'Barney Learns To Spell'." To me, that's just a basic given of an intelligent functioning adult. To 90% of you cunts it's one of the labours (labors, Fat Yanks) of ****ing Hercules.

Anyway, this girl asked me if I wanted some samosas. As I'd love to penetrate her in every orifice she has, I was delighted. Except she'd put an apostrophe in the word. I let it go. She's got lovely big boobs. So she carries on pming me. Then when I say thank you, I get "your welcome". Your. Your. Your.

I nearly got up out of my seat, ripped her hair out of her ****ing head, put her face into the screen until it cut her ****ing eyes out and then left her in an unconscious heap so lifeless you'd swear she was Ping Ping with a second to go in the sixth round. Little ****ing whore she is.
I feel exactly the same way
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#24
Old 01-03-2013, 09:14 PM
SkillspayBills
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That's easy pickings. Just make fun of her horrid spelling. No female like a guy who is drooling all over her every move. A good ribbing will lead to.....a good ribbing, AMIRITE!??
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