LOL. this is a gold mine.
So, I guess my question is, how do I deal with this secretly gay friend?
Break the friendship immediately. Tell him you simply cannot afford the risk of associating with homo****.
"As an Ex-Gay, I understand his predatory nature and know exactly what he is up to. Small steps that will seem innocent enough until it is too late to avoid the homo-rectal assault.
Queers live for as much anal sex as possible in a given day, and no rectum is off limits. Fellow ****, innocent strangers and straight friends are all fair game for the Sodomite.
If I were him, I might soak my sleeping bag in the lake when you are not looking and then feign surprise in "What happened?". Then insist that the only option is to share yours in the bitter cold of the night. Once a homogay is aligned with your backside, it is virtually impossible to stop the violent Sodomy that will ensue.
Be warned, my friend."
In Christ
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