What do you do if you hate a work colleague you sit next to?

Sparked_26

I've been in a new job for a few weeks. A new job and a new city and my girlfriend has been away whom is my only link with the city so it's been a pretty stressful time.

But the bloke next to me is an absolute violence magnet. There is barely an hour goes by that I can't imagine myself punching him.

I'm a really laid back bloke and it is obviously important that I keep my job. I could ask to move but that seems like a soft option and would only create tension amongst everyone else.

But this dude is too much. He asks really personal questions as his idea of 'banter', he also has this thing of pretending not to hear me (because I myself am a little deaf from football (soccer injury) so it is sort of a piss-take thing. And then in general he is mugging me (insulting) off quite a lot because I'm new, pretty laid back and quiet and from London having moved up North. It has sort of came to head when I asked him a question and he said: 'shut the fuck up!'. I was taken aback and just said 'You can't say that to me!' He said: 'I just did.' Now really there is nowhere to go from there. In any other context I could have just punched him as he literally asked for it but I can't. I just said: 'Alright, let's see how awkward this gets.'

Next minute he's brushing it off like it is nothing and trying to make normal conversation with me again.

It is proper schoolboy stuff and a bit embarrassing but I am definitely going to punch him at some stage its inevitable.

Tim Horton

Tim Horton

i'm not even kidding.

jose830

put some laxative in his morning coffee and lock the bathroom door...that'll teach him a lesson...

Sparked_26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timothy Horton

LOL that's hilarious.

I am genuinely close to a moment like that myself.

Russian Crushin

Next time you're alone with him, just grab his nuts and say "never talk to me like that again muthfcuka, or else these will be mine"

Russian Crushin

Im not even kidding

Russian Crushin

Quote:

Originally Posted by jose830

put some laxative in his morning coffee and lock the bathroom door...that'll teach him a lesson...

While hilarious, its best to avoid drugging people

Tim Horton

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparked_26

LOL that's hilarious.

I am genuinely close to a moment like that myself.

Back when I worked in an office environment my stress level was always high enough that I was one ill comment from throwing down. And I was an earner in a company where gross profit meant everything so I got away with nearly everything. Companies have a tendency to protect their earners so I basically felt like I could fly off the handle with impunity.

I wouldn't go back to work in an office for all the money in the world though.

I am digressing but the point is that I have been where you are. Do you work in an office? I only skimmed your post.

Tim Horton

Quote:

Originally Posted by Russian Crushin

While hilarious, its best to avoid drugging people

Concussion makes a very valid point. Offer him weed brownies with laxatives. If he gets pissed he can`t call the cops, can he? What`s he going to tell them?

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