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#1
Old 03-15-2012, 07:57 PM
squealpiggy
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Default Why the abortion debate is never black and white...

...and why I support a woman's right to choose.

PLEASE read this thread before commenting. This is a thorny issue that I would rather not be obliterated by angry ideology.

http://www.texasobserver.org/cover-s...ht-not-to-know

Quote:
Halfway through my pregnancy, I learned that my baby was ill. Profoundly so. My doctor gave us the news kindly, but still, my husband and I weren’t prepared. Just a few minutes earlier, we’d been smiling giddily at fellow expectant parents as we waited for the doctor to see us. In a sonography room smelling faintly of lemongrass, I’d just had gel rubbed on my stomach, just seen blots on the screen become tiny hands. For a brief, exultant moment, we’d seen our son—a brother for our 2-year-old girl.

Yet now my doctor was looking grim and, with chair pulled close, was speaking of alarming things. “I’m worried about your baby’s head shape,” she said. “I want you to see a specialist—now.”
I have two kids, and this is painful to read. It's the one thing you dread hearing, it's the thing you are afraid of from the moment you find out you're expecting.

Quote:
before I’d even known I was pregnant, a molecular flaw had determined that our son’s brain, spine and legs wouldn’t develop correctly. If he were to make it to term—something our doctor couldn’t guarantee—he’d need a lifetime of medical care. From the moment he was born, my doctor told us, our son would suffer greatly.
This is not someone who is "using abortion as contraception". This is someone who has been faced with the stark choice of bringing someone into a lifetime of suffering if they live at all or being able to start over and have a healthy child.

Quote:
It felt like a physical blow to hear that word, abortion, in the context of our much-wanted child. Abortion is a topic that never seemed relevant to me; it was something we read about in the news or talked about politically; it always remained at a safe distance. Yet now its ugly fist was hammering on my chest.
Quote:
In those dark moments we had to make a choice, so we picked the one that seemed slightly less cruel.
She then describes the new invasive sonogram procedure dictated by Texan law, how she was forced in the midst of this anguish to suffer the cruel indignity of having a doctor try to talk her out of it.

Quote:
"... I don’t want another sonogram when I’ve already had two today. I don’t want to hear a description of the life I’m about to end. Please,” I said, “I can’t take any more pain.”
I am uncomfortable with the idea of abortion, I admit it. But I am pro choice. It's this sort of situation that makes the point that some issues are complicated and difficult, they cannot be boiled down to talking points and angry rhetoric.

I hope that by reading this you might feel the same.
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#2
Old 03-15-2012, 08:10 PM
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I am completely with you Squealpiggy.

I have given birth twice, been pregnant and known the joy of feeling a baby move and grow, I would never choose abortion for myself, but in her position I would have done the same thing.

Having children already, they are my priority, if I find out I was expecting and that child was severely ill, and required 24/7 care, I know that if I had to provide it, I would be making the choice to neglect my other children and their needs.

Anyone who would say that this woman is anything other than a loving mother is absolutely retarded and has never had to care for a sick child.
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#3
Old 03-15-2012, 08:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bossy View Post
I am completely with you Squealpiggy.

I have given birth twice, been pregnant and known the joy of feeling a baby move and grow, I would never choose abortion for myself, but in her position I would have done the same thing.

Having children already, they are my priority, if I find out I was expecting and that child was severely ill, and required 24/7 care, I know that if I had to provide it, I would be making the choice to neglect my other children and their needs.

Anyone who would say that this woman is anything other than a loving mother is absolutely retarded and has never had to care for a sick child.
I cannot imagine the agony of having to make such a decision. All of these laws designed to increase the burden of guilt on women seeking abortions disgust me.
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#4
Old 03-15-2012, 08:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squealpiggy View Post
I cannot imagine the agony of having to make such a decision. All of these laws designed to increase the burden of guilt on women seeking abortions disgust me.
I agree with you, I have a friend here who went through something similar. Her baby was severely deformed and she was told she would be lucky if the baby lived an hour, she was offered an abortion in the hospital, so she took it. She was so riddled with guilt from friends/family who called her 'selfish', less of a woman etc, she had to be hospitalised for 4 months after suffering a mental break.

People are scum, they have no business commenting on things like this. How would a foetus have a better life being born to a mother who doesn't want the child or resents it? And giving the child up for adoption doesn't mean it will automatically have a good life.

It is a personal choice that no one has the right to comment on, in my opinion.
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Old 03-15-2012, 08:38 PM
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People pretend they give a sh1t about things that have zero impact on their lives in order to provide meaning to their worthless existences.
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#6
Old 03-15-2012, 08:47 PM
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What surprises me is that squeal tries to appeal to the anti abortion crowd with something that is essentially aimed at, how can I say, their kindness and empathy, when the whole argument was about power(in my opinion)
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#7
Old 03-15-2012, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by BrooklynBomber View Post
What surprises me is that squeal tries to appeal to the anti abortion crowd with something that is essentially aimed at, how can I say, their kindness and empathy, when the whole argument was about power(in my opinion)
I don't think I'll convince anyone to change their stance on the central issue, I'm not that naive. I would like a couple of people to maybe read this and see the issue as more nuanced and cloudy than they had previously considered.
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#8
Old 03-15-2012, 08:51 PM
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Its probably true that men who became fathers lose their testosterone and gain prolactin
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Old 03-15-2012, 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by squealpiggy View Post
I don't think I'll convince anyone to change their stance on the central issue, I'm not that naive. I would like a couple of people to maybe read this and see the issue as more nuanced and cloudy than they had previously considered.
To be budged by that passage one would have to be a parent. Which is an extremely small minority on this forum
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#10
Old 03-15-2012, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted by BrooklynBomber View Post
Its probably true that men who became fathers lose their testosterone and gain prolactin
My hair is still migrating from my head to my back though...

You're right of course, the main actors in the anti-abortion lobby are not exactly motivated by humanitarian concern. It's all about imposing their will on women, especially women from lower economic demographics.
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