[HOLY S**T!] Clegg's Movie Marathon

[Clegg]

Yeah, the Salvation Army lass...pretty, very slim but with nice sized boobs, and willing to sleep with an ugly cunt who doesn't know how to talk to women. My kind of girl.

For D I watched 'Drawing Flies'. It was made around the same time as Mallrats with a lot of the same cast (Jason Lee, Jason Mewes, Reneé Humprey etc.) and is about a group of people going into the woods to stay in a cabin. JL is the driving force behind the trip as he wants to search for Bigfoot.

It's very low-budget and so sometimes the sound quality isn't great. I think Clerks was helped in that respect by being filmed mostly indoors. DF is also black and white and Kevin Smith apparently had some involvement.

I thought it was ok but it seems like the director/writer thought 'hey I just had an idea, let's give it a try over a weekend', and with that in mind I guess it was unlikely to be anything great. It does have some low-key amusing moments, similar to what you'd have sitting around with a bunch of friends, which I guess is what the movie was really.

The version I saw was only an hour long and didn't seem to be missing a beginning or end but maybe something was cut out of the middle as imdb and wiki list the running time as 76 minutes.

Topless women: 0

Man-on-Man rape: 0

Violence: 1/10

Laughosity: 4/10

Overall rating: 5.5/10

[Clegg]

Watched End Of Days, one of the Arnie films I haven't seen as it came out around the time his career started to go downhill a bit.

I can't think of much to say about it, it was alright but pretty run-of-the-mill. The Devil tries to take over The Earth by shagging Robin Tunney, and Arnold has to stop him. It kinda reminded me of the Wishmaster series, though it was a bit better than them (watching all 4 Wishmaster films isn't advisable, btw).

I think that the cast are what separates this from the typical sci-fi TV movie really, but that's not to say that it's a terrible way to spend 2 hours if you have fuck all else to do.

Topless women: 0

Man-on-Man rape: 0

Violence: 7/10

Laughosity: 1/10

Overall rating: 6/10

[Flab]

Originally Posted by Clegg

Watched End Of Days, one of the Arnie films I haven't seen as it came out around the time his career started to go downhill a bit.

I can't think of much to say about it, it was alright but pretty run-of-the-mill. The Devil tries to take over The Earth by shagging Robin Tunney, and Arnold has to stop him. It kinda reminded me of the Wishmaster series, though it was a bit better than them (watching all 4 Wishmaster films isn't advisable, btw).

I think that the cast are what separates this from the typical sci-fi TV movie really, but that's not to say that it's a terrible way to spend 2 hours if you have fuck all else to do.

Topless women: 0

Man-on-Man rape: 0

Violence: 7/10

Laughosity: 1/10

Overall rating: 6/10

Saw it in the cinema way back when.

[Flab]

Just seen it's an 18 rating. How did three 11(?) year olds get into see it. Must have sneaked in.

[Clegg]

Just got done watching Frailty, which maybe the best I've seen in this session. I guess it depends upon whether you like regular films or crazy shit like BBB had.

Matthew McConaughey used to annoy me, but in this he was very good. He goes to the police station to tell them that he knows the identity of a serial killer who they're after. In flashback to his childhood he then tells of his father telling him and his brother that God has commanded him to kill certain people who are actually demons and not human. He then starts doing just that. The dad is played by Bill Paxton, who also directed the film.

I don't want to say more in case I spoil it, but it's good.

Topless women: 0

Man-on-Man rape: 0

Violence: 6/10

Laughosity: 1/10

Overall rating: 8/10

[Toney Loc]

Originally Posted by Sir TomJones

might give that bad boy bubby film a go seeing as you gave it an 8.5/10 rating.

any of you seen the girl with the dragon tattoo?

Seen the original, twas nice. Haven't seen the remake, though.

Originally Posted by Clegg

Just got done watching Frailty, which maybe the best I've seen in this session. I guess it depends upon whether you like regular films or crazy shit like BBB had.

Matthew McConaughey used to annoy me, but in this he was very good. He goes to the police station to tell them that he knows the identity of a serial killer who they're after. In flashback to his childhood he then tells of his father telling him and his brother that God has commanded him to kill certain people who are actually demons and not human. He then starts doing just that. The dad is played by Bill Paxton, who also directed the film.

I don't want to say more in case I spoil it, but it's good.

Topless women: 0

Man-on-Man rape: 0

Violence: 6/10

Laughosity: 1/10

Overall rating: 8/10

This is an excellent film.

Good thread, Clegg.

[Clegg]

For G I watched Great Expectations, because it's such a well known story but I've never seen a film of it and I couldn't be arsed to read the book as it was written by some cunt 400 years ago and probably doesn't have any pictures in it.

The only adaptation of any kind I've seen is the South Park one, and I have to say that I was saddened that there wasn't any robot monkeys in this film, so that makes the SP episode a bit better in my eyes.

For those who don't know the story, a young boy meets a prisoner on the run at the start and helps him out with food and drink. Meanwhile, a rich old woman who has had her heart broken is a twisted bitch and so raises a young girl to be cold and break men's hearts. She is close to the boy/man over the years and is a real prick tease cunt. Years later the guy gets a random visitor saying a rich benefactor wants to pay for him to do a load of art (something he enjoyed in childhood but hasn't done for years).

Anyway I'll spoil the ending because the story is 1000 years old, the benefactor is actually the escaped prisoner, who ended up making money over the years. My biggest problem is that the story worked very well in a modern setting until the point where the prisoner guy is being chased and attacked by Italian-American gangsters, which just didn't fit the tone at all really. Other than that though it was pretty good.

Topless women: 0 (Paltrow is naked a couple of times but poses so that her hands cover the goodies)

Violence: 4/10

Laughosity: 0/10

Overall rating: 7/10

[Clegg]

Havoc was pretty good, and not just because of the osity of Anne Hathaway, who gets her tits out on 3 separate occassions.

Some well-off white kids who listen to rap music and do coke like to think that they're street-wise and start visiting a bad neighbourhood, only to quickly realise that they're actually well-off white kids and are in far over their heads.

There are a lot of 'trendy' white teenagers who have absolutely no idea about how certain lifestyles and gangs are, and I think a lot of people have met at least a couple of people who are similar to the characters in this film. I'm not sure if Havoc addressed/portrayed it as well as it could've but it got it's message across decently enough.

I didn't realise until seeing the credits that AH's father was played by Michael Biehn. It kinda sucks that someone who was once bad ass enough to fight with cyborg killing machine from the future and be competitive is now able to play an unrecognisable upper-class middle-aged dad character.

Topless women: 3

Violence: 3/10

Laughosity: 1/10

Overall rating: 6.5/10

[Clegg]

I'll do 2 at once since no one is reading this shite

If I manage another 3 movies then the next entries will be 3 at once.


Although I've never seen the TV show, the people I'm doing this with wanted to watch The Inbetweeners movie. For those who don't know, it's about 4 somewhat nerdy Brit lads who go on holiday to Greece in order to try and get laid.

When you watch two films back-to-back you sometimes see similarities between them that are less than obvious, and in a way The Inbetweeners seemed kinda like a light-hearted Brit version of Havoc, with the English guys wanting to get laid and party and the Americans being drawn to something more dangerous. But I think that's a tenuous link and only include as I'm kinda tired and not able to come up with any resembling genuine insight.

I'm guessing anyone who has heard of this show already knows how much they'll like the film. Either it's your kind of thing or it isn't. I thought it was pretty funny and entertaining, though a bit too forulaic and typical in the final third.

6.5/10

I remember when Jeepers Creepers came out there was a real 'buzz' about it from certain people at first, but then it seemed like more people saw it and the feeling became 'actually it's a bit crap'.

I think one of the reasons for this is because for most of the movie it's a typical slasher film. Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees and others sometimes seem to have almost-supernatural powers, but not to the point of turning out to be a weird regenerating-via-cannibalism bat-bird type of thing, and I guess this divided people as fans of the genre probably didn't like that turn of events. On the other hand it was something a bit different that sets it apart from the rest of a genre that by 2001 had grown stale due to all of the unoriginal post-Scream copycats and cash-ins.

The film is mostly average overall, and while not be exactly like it's contemporaries, it's not good, interesting or scary enough to really stand out.

6/10

[- v e t -]

you are a movie machine!

i wouldnt have stayed up to watch ANY of those you mentioned