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#1
Old 07-12-2011, 05:22 PM
KING MEAT
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Default Nice Shoes, Douchebag.

I first encountered FiveFingers at the gym. There***8217;s this one douchey guy that likes to stomp around, carries a gallon of water, letting everyone know how intense his workout is. He***8217;s always doing laps around the place carrying 45 pound weights and sliding machines together to form weird, hybrid machines that better serve his extreme workout purposes. It***8217;s as if he***8217;s constantly trying to escape the confines of the gym. So it made perfect sense for him to own these bizarre feet-shaped athletic shoes. For he is a joke. A caricature.

But a strange thing has happened of late. The feet shoes are spreading. I was at the gym recently and counted no fewer than a dozen people wearing some manner of FiveFingers, each one looking more ridiculous than the next. What***8217;s wrong with a pair of Nike Airs? The Adidas Adizeros feel like you***8217;re walking on air. Ever slipped on a new pair of Asics? It***8217;s ****ing great; like sliding your dick into a plate of lukewarm mashed potatoes. What is so terrible about the thousands of conventional athletic shoe options available that people feel the need to get this drastic?

Vibram***8217;s claim is that the ***8220;revolutionary design makes feet healthier by allowing them to move more naturally and freely.***8221; Really? Healthy feet? Is foot health like a major issue bubbling under the surface? Are podiatrists overwhelmed by the number of people rushing their offices because they haven***8217;t yet discovered the FiveFingers revolution? This can***8217;t really be real can it?

To make matters worse, the ***8220;shoes***8221; have managed to escape the confines of the gym and are now hitting the streets. I saw a guy walking around Horton Plaza rocking a trilby, a Baby Bjorn and a pair of these bad boys. All I could think of was ***8220;poor kid; daddy***8217;s a cunt.***8221; These things are a scourge and it***8217;s time that we rise up together and say ***8220;No!***8221;

Last edited by KING MEAT; 07-12-2011 at 05:24 PM..
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#2
Old 07-12-2011, 05:26 PM
project xxx1
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asics gels>>>>>>Vibram Fivefingers>>>>>>>>>>>>all the rest
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#3
Old 07-12-2011, 05:31 PM
Walt Liquor
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they are the ultimate douche shoes down here, that's for sure...

seriously. especially if they're not being worn during a workout, even then, they're borderline.
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#4
Old 07-12-2011, 05:35 PM
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all about a good ole pair of them cheap ass rubber plim-soles, sh1t made me feel like a ninja............
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#5
Old 07-12-2011, 05:38 PM
2501
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So if shoes are better overall for walking or doing anything, they're still douchebag shoes?
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#6
Old 07-12-2011, 05:43 PM
Walt Liquor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2501 View Post
So if shoes are better overall for walking or doing anything, they're still douchebag shoes?
no, its more the people who wear them that give um that rep, at least where I live,

same thing as chucks anyway, but waaaay more expensive
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#7
Old 07-12-2011, 06:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEAT View Post
I first encountered FiveFingers at the gym. There’s this one douchey guy that likes to stomp around, carries a gallon of water, letting everyone know how intense his workout is. He’s always doing laps around the place carrying 45 pound weights and sliding machines together to form weird, hybrid machines that better serve his extreme workout purposes. It’s as if he’s constantly trying to escape the confines of the gym. So it made perfect sense for him to own these bizarre feet-shaped athletic shoes. For he is a joke. A caricature.

But a strange thing has happened of late. The feet shoes are spreading. I was at the gym recently and counted no fewer than a dozen people wearing some manner of FiveFingers, each one looking more ridiculous than the next. What’s wrong with a pair of Nike Airs? The Adidas Adizeros feel like you’re walking on air. Ever slipped on a new pair of Asics? It’s ****ing great; like sliding your dick into a plate of lukewarm mashed potatoes. What is so terrible about the thousands of conventional athletic shoe options available that people feel the need to get this drastic?

Vibram’s claim is that the “revolutionary design makes feet healthier by allowing them to move more naturally and freely.” Really? Healthy feet? Is foot health like a major issue bubbling under the surface? Are podiatrists overwhelmed by the number of people rushing their offices because they haven’t yet discovered the FiveFingers revolution? This can’t really be real can it?

To make matters worse, the “shoes” have managed to escape the confines of the gym and are now hitting the streets. I saw a guy walking around Horton Plaza rocking a trilby, a Baby Bjorn and a pair of these bad boys. All I could think of was “poor kid; daddy’s a cunt.” These things are a scourge and it’s time that we rise up together and say “No!”
First of all why do you have to call someone a Douchebag because he is wearing shoes that he loves? Would you like it if someone called a Douchebag for wearing asics or nikes? Who made you the clothing police?
As a proud owner of 19 pairs of VFF I can tell you that these shoes do help you to make your feet stronger. Ever since I started wearing them, my runs have gotten faster and longer. And yes I proudly wear my VFF everywhere other than the gym.
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Old 07-12-2011, 07:14 PM
hu r u?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by triggerhapppy View Post
First of all why do you have to call someone a Douchebag because he is wearing shoes that he loves? Would you like it if someone called a Douchebag for wearing asics or nikes? Who made you the clothing police?
As a proud owner of 19 pairs of VFF I can tell you that these shoes do help you to make your feet stronger. Ever since I started wearing them, my runs have gotten faster and longer. And yes I proudly wear my VFF everywhere other than the gym.
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those are nice shoes, man
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#9
Old 07-12-2011, 07:23 PM
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Thank you OP for taking the time to type that up. I agree with you pretty much completely. I first saw a dude wearing these in Aruba and said oh ****, theres the new fad. sure enough, here we are.

For me, Vans all day every day.

Slip-ons preferably.
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#10
Old 07-12-2011, 09:32 PM
sugersean15
The king of Boxing Scene
 
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Hilarious. - [KLTP] stream - rzagza turning green - MANIAC310 Great upload, lol - dancovboxer Keep you dry from the haters. - Kenny MF Powers 
You love it - rorymac this for u bro..MAYWEATHER MAFIA - Akhi No Message - hogwash All day! - Uncle Howie It's a brain - VEG 
Thanks - Terrel cheers bro! - Gotteskrieger For noticing Floyd drop his sparring partner in vid - BostonGuy 
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