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#1
Old 01-28-2010, 11:02 AM
Eric Holder
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Default Screech's Saved By The Bell autobiography

This weekend, I read Dustin "Screech" Diamond's entire autobiography, "Behind the Bell". And I might be the only person who's ever done that.

Literally, the only person. I'm fairly sure no editor actually read it cover-to-cover; on page four we get the sentence "**** fame. Allow me to tear down your allusions"... and that sets off a book just riddled with spelling errors, punctuation errors, repeated references to craft services as Kraft services and weird line breaks. On two separate occasions, entire paragraphs are actually repeated.

But you're not reading this for me to call out Dustin Diamond's copy editor. Nor was I reading his book to look for such errors. (I just notice them because I'm a precocious-in-a-bad-way son of an English teacher.) No... we all want to know the unbelievable "Saved by the Bell" sex scandals that he witnessed first hand. (Or, as he disclaims in the prologue, some of them are "things [he] heard from reliable sources.)

Dustin Diamond has a large penis and has used it to have sex with more than 2,000 women, most of whom he picked up at Disneyland

Mario Lopez raped a girl, and NBC paid her hush money.

Tiffani-Amber Thiessen cheated on the actor who played Johnny Dakota simultaneously with Mario Lopez and Mark-Paul Gosselaar.

Elizabeth Berkley also did both Mario Lopez and Mark-Paul Gosselaar... but only once Tiffani-Amber Thiessen was done.

Lark Voorhies then did them as sloppy thirds

When Lark Voorhies was engaged to Martin Lawrence, he abused her (at a minimum verbally).

Dustin Diamond had sex with NBC's VP of children's programming, Linda Mancuso

Mark-Paul Gosselaar confessed to the cast that he took steroids before "Saved by the Bell: The College Years".

Ed "Max" Alonzo used to get gay with Neil Patrick Harris while they talked about magic.

Executive producer Peter Engel used to have bisexual threesomes with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselaar in his office

http://www.11points.com/TV/11_Most_S..._Autobiography

Screech is throwing everyone under the bus,

I wonder if any of it is even true
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#2
Old 01-28-2010, 11:11 AM
AKATheMack
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I have the Screech sex tape. Hes a funny son of a *****.
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#3
Old 01-28-2010, 11:17 AM
Libido Sanchez
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Didn't Screech get caught selling T-shirts so he could raise money to save his house and it turned out he wasn't really going to lose his home, he was just getting money?

I think the dude is a liar. But a funny liar with an active imagination. Still, those actors fücking each other makes perfect sense. That's not surprising.
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#4
Old 01-28-2010, 11:21 AM
AKATheMack
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Libido Sanchez View Post
Didn't Screech get caught selling T-shirts so he could raise money to save his house and it turned out he wasn't really going to lose his home, he was just getting money?

I think the dude is a liar. But a funny liar with an active imagination. Still, those actors fücking each other makes perfect sense. That's not surprising.
I wouldn't mind takin a shot at the female cast of Saved by the Bell. I'd even take a shot at the Junior High teachers.
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#5
Old 01-28-2010, 11:27 AM
Libido Sanchez
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AKATheMack View Post
I wouldn't mind takin a shot at the female cast of Saved by the Bell. I'd even take a shot at the Junior High teachers.
My pick would be Elizabeth Berkley in Saved By The Bell or Showgirls.
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#6
Old 01-28-2010, 11:35 AM
AKATheMack
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Libido Sanchez View Post
My pick would be Elizabeth Berkley in Saved By The Bell or Showgirls.
****, I've spilled a lot of seed to Tiffany Amber Thiesen.
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#7
Old 01-28-2010, 11:49 AM
Eric Holder
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My pick would be Elizabeth Berkley in Saved By The Bell or Showgirls.
Kelly Kapowski ftw

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#8
Old 01-28-2010, 12:21 PM
Libido Sanchez
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AKATheMack View Post
****, I've spilled a lot of seed to Tiffany Amber Thiesen.
The producers and networks won't admit it, but that's what these shows are for... to spill our seed. That's why they have laugh tracks for. To remind us when to laugh... because we're too busy watching all the prime tail.



Quote:
Originally Posted by El Cabron View Post
Kelly Kapowski ftw

She was good, but I'm rolling with "Jessie"...


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#9
Old 01-28-2010, 01:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Libido Sanchez View Post
My pick would be Elizabeth Berkley in Saved By The Bell or Showgirls.
Lark Voorhies was the hottest chick on that show...
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#10
Old 01-28-2010, 01:46 PM
Libido Sanchez
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Be Joyful - Gift Giver For your libido - The Scientist Another, just for the lulz - The Scientist First chapter says approach them smoothly, handing them a rose is just what's needed. - SkillspayBills Second chapter says get them drunk and take them home. Why is this book only two chapters!?!?!? - SkillspayBills 
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Lark Voorhies was the hottest chick on that show...
Great tits and face, yes. But something about Elizabeth Berkley I was digging big time.
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