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#1
Old 02-01-2014, 01:25 AM
-Kev-
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Default Start your own conspiracy theories

The Sun is not real, it is a big ass light bulb turned on and off by Barack Obama, who has been alive for 1000s of years, and he is actually Jesus Christ.
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#2
Old 02-01-2014, 01:29 AM
robust_
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Mannie Phresh is straight.
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#3
Old 02-01-2014, 01:42 AM
Cotto's ahas
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mak and tua are siamese twins
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#4
Old 02-01-2014, 01:43 AM
-Kev-
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Hmm, those would belong in Derranged's "Start outrageous and baseless rumors about posters" thread. But nice try guys.
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#5
Old 02-01-2014, 02:51 AM
DannYankee09
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#6
Old 02-01-2014, 03:13 AM
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Default

North Korea never really landed a man on the sun.
It was filmed in Australia using a stunt double of aboriginal decent. The rocket in the film footage was actually seven inches long and held by strings. It was the N. Korean government's most powerful rocket however.


It may seem far fetched but it is true because youtube says so!

Last edited by TBear; 02-01-2014 at 03:16 AM..
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#7
Old 02-01-2014, 03:13 AM
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Kev's life is the main star in an Alien movie, everyone and everything around him are hallucinations.
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#8
Old 02-01-2014, 06:45 AM
RightJab
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Bacon is human meat and the Alpha Phaser Quadrant Alien Rectulli's run our world gov. from 100000000000000000000000000000 lightyears away via Ubertron Bluetooth and strategic photon internets.

They've been before in 12000 bc, realized we where essentially meat Popsicles, and since have been making bacon out of us, and put is on the Galactic Council's menu (thus the many many legit abduction stories we have today) . And i base that on absolutely nothing because it's morning drunk time........

PS, they also fought Atlantis in 1500bc to a no contest, no refs/judges even existed then! So they sunk the Atlanteans because they where jealous that they couldn't have their bacon or healing crystals which also fire lazers into outer space (yup we had that technology 15000bc until space cops who all are 9ft and dress/sound like Judge Dredd turned up in 1400bc to take them off the remaining survivors of Atlantis whom where not black........or white.)
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#9
Old 02-01-2014, 07:23 AM
RightJab
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Also, Boeing's real CEO is in fact The Silver Surfer ( the comic book character was based on a real life form, as are all of them).

Great tips for dealing with conspiracy terrorists (seeing as its sort of on-topic) :

1.The average conspiracy theorist will argue with NASA, Nobel-prize winners and every expert in the world despite having fewer qualifications than the average fry cook.

2. Conspiracy theorists view logical argument as cheating.

3. Like pissing fetishes and tentacle rape comics, conspiracy theories are a problem made much worse by the Internet.

4. Never assume malice when incompetence will do.


5 .Conspiracy theorists divide the world into "Everyone even remotely involved/qualified vs. Me," and decide that they'll win single-handedly. They're like Rambo with bullshit instead of bullets.

6. They tend to enjoy the ego-boost that comes with thinking of oneself as the only intelligent objector in a world of sheeple. When the government has to spend billions of dollars shuttling Elvis from Roswell to the Bermuda Triangle and back in black helicopters before you can feel good about yourself, you've got to be pretty tragic.

7. Conspiracy theorists display incredible attention to detail, an even more incredible ability to ignore details they don't like, obsessive focus and a complete absence of social skills. Every time a new crazy decides that Bush brought down World Trade Center, anime loses a powerful Pokemaster......


Anyway, one more true theory, Israel makes Palestinian schoolgirls sexually promiscuous by selling them aphrodisiac bubble-gum, Palestinian authorities uncovered Israeli efforts to spread a special kind of gum that contains sexual hormone between Palestinians.
The authorities requested laboratory tests on the gum which were conducted in Cairo.

Those tests showed that the gum contains progesterone which is responsible for sexual arousal and also prevents pregnancies. Baby Jesus of Nazareth confirmed to me this is absolute truth...
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#10
Old 02-01-2014, 07:27 AM
DannYankee09
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RightJab View Post
Bacon is human meat and the Alpha Phaser Quadrant Alien Rectulli's run our world gov. from 100000000000000000000000000000 lightyears away via Ubertron Bluetooth and strategic photon internets.

They've been before in 12000 bc, realized we where essentially meat Popsicles, and since have been making bacon out of us, and put is on the Galactic Council's menu (thus the many many legit abduction stories we have today) . And i base that on absolutely nothing because it's morning drunk time........

PS, they also fought Atlantis in 1500bc to a no contest, no refs/judges even existed then! So they sunk the Atlanteans because they where jealous that they couldn't have their bacon or healing crystals which also fire lazers into outer space (yup we had that technology 15000bc until space cops who all are 9ft and dress/sound like Judge Dredd turned up in 1400bc to take them off the remaining survivors of Atlantis whom where not black........or white.)

I always thought Ubertron Bluetooth range was only 10000000000000000000000000000 light years....guess you learn something new every day. This new revelation makes everything completely plausible.
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