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Old 08-18-2003, 12:49 PM #1
momita momita is offline
*sheesh*
 
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Default Wal Mart application

WAL-MART Job Application:

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll cooperate fully)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place, get serious!

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes. But my mother doesn't think so.....

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes from teachers desks.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, wouldn't I be there?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 Lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.
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Old 08-18-2003, 12:54 PM #2
Bzob Bzob is offline
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:- l
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Old 08-18-2003, 12:58 PM #3
The Ensanity The Ensanity is offline
Uninspired Orgasm
 
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hahaahahahahaahhah

lmfao
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Old 08-18-2003, 12:59 PM #4
Bzob Bzob is offline
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no
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Old 08-18-2003, 01:00 PM #5
The Ensanity The Ensanity is offline
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yes, i am
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Old 08-18-2003, 01:01 PM #6
realkaps
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:-!
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Old 08-18-2003, 01:01 PM #7
Bzob Bzob is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Ensanity
yes, i am Gay

:- l
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Old 08-18-2003, 01:04 PM #8
The Ensanity The Ensanity is offline
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**** yall.... i found it funny
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Old 08-18-2003, 01:13 PM #9
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****in classic lmao
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Old 08-18-2003, 02:29 PM #10
nance nance is offline
Muhahahaha!!!
 
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No wonder I couldn't get a job at Walmart! I wasn't asking for enough money! Duh!!
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