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Punch Drunk: 10 Promotional Disasters
With apologies to all involved -- including Sherdog.com itself, which acted as a sort of viral host carrier to the thing -- Friday’s ‘Net-cast of the clumsily-titled “Wargods/Ken Shamrock Productions: Valentine’s Eve Massacre” was the kind of hot mess that suddenly makes you appreciate Mike Goldberg.
This is not a feeling I had ever expected to have to deal with.
As it turns out, promoting and executing an event where participants are allowed to hammer each other into unconsciousness is an unwieldy thing to negotiate. The UFC, minus an occasional hiccup, has spoiled us into believing otherwise. A Zuffa broadcast is a tightly knitted, controlled bit of chaos. The camera direction is immaculate and the pacing is airtight. It looks, feels and breathes like a professional sporting event.
“Wargods,” in comparison, lacked as much talent behind the camera as in front of it. Medical and commission commitments were a jumble of he-said, he-said fiascos; 30 percent of the card was scratched; and main event fighters, save perhaps for a determined-looking Shamrock, probably wouldn’t have passed a JV football tryout.
Watching the fuzzy, shrunken feed brought to mind a wealth of other promotional embarrassments. See how many you were fortunate enough to have missed.
10. No Rain Delay (King of the Cage: Wet ‘N Wild, 2001)
Weather permitting, an outdoor fighting event can be a pleasure to experience. Ali and Foreman’s African expedition was memorable in part because of the mammoth outdoor arena. Fresh air is usually a good thing. And etc.
Except when it’s pouring down rain, at which point promoters can either take a financial bath or a physical one. King of the Cage opted for the latter: An ’01 event slated for an outdoor venue at Soboba Casino passed on a rain delay and instead invited athletes to strike and grapple in MMA’s equivalent of a Slip ‘n Slide. Fighters went for takedowns, and slid; submissions, and slid; strikes, and slid. Puddles collected on the canvas.
How these bouts can even qualify as a professional win/loss is beyond comprehension. Congratulations to all who avoided breaking their neck.
9. Crowd Riot (Pentagon Combat, 1997)
“No Contest: Fans Rioted” is not a common bout result in the Sherdog Fight Finder. One exception is Renzo Gracie’s bout with family rival Eugenio Tadeu in their home -- and hostile -- territory of Brazil.
After roughly 15 minutes of back-and-forth brawling, a crowd that had gathered around the ring apron decided passive participation wasn’t enough and someone tried to strike at Renzo, who lashed back. Chairs went flying, as did a few people. The fight never reached a resolution.
To mention that this was Pentagon Combat’s only show is perhaps unnecessary.
8. Biker Riot (Ultimate Athlete 2, 2002)
If there’s one thing more irritating than overpriced nachos, it’s getting beaten to death with a bike chain just when the show was getting good.
Ultimate Athlete organizers should have sensed a possible storm brewing when combatant Rick Slaton invited several dozen of his Mongol motorcycle gang pals to his bout in the fledgling promotion. (It’s rumored Slaton was free to sell tickets, thereby profiting from his fraternity’s presence.)
After Slaton’s opponent, Leo Pavlushkin, claimed he ate an illegal knee to the groin, impatient Mongol members began throwing refuse at the ring. This angered nearby civilians, who retaliated with airborne soda of their own. If you cannot imagine how a marauding biker gang would respond to that, you have not seen enough movies.
Eventually, sheriffs with M-16s intervened, and no deaths were reported. Any evening that ends with the K-9 unit being called is certainly worthy of entry here.
7. Well Done (Pride 9, 2000)
The Japanese fans love their spectacle, from 8-foot-tall pituitary cases ignoring doctor’s orders for tumor operations to expressing complete amusement at the idea of weight classes.
Excepting the occasional smashed orbital or arthritic knees, this is all in good fun, except when it’s not -- as in the case of Johil de Oliveira’s Pride debut in 2000. Idling near the arena entrance, de Oliveira -- who was slated to face Matt Serra -- was the victim of poor production planning when he was set ablaze by an ill-timed fireworks display.
“I was next up and saw them carry him out on a stretcher,” recalls Heath Herring of the incident. De Oliveira, though nicely toasted, fought six months later. He carried a fire extinguisher to the ring.
6. Time Out (UFC 4, 1994; UFC 33, 2001)
So much has been written about the UFC’s two monumental failures to budget time properly -- in both instances, viewers were unable to see the end of the main events because they exceeded the allotted three-hour window -- that further exposition would be tiresome. Nonetheless, they are production gaffes of the highest (or lowest) order.
That said, I’d reserve the flip remarks for the cable companies themselves, who essentially cut off their own noses to spite their faces when they remain obstinate in not allowing a time-bleeding program some breathing room. In each instance, thousands of angry fans called and demanded a refund -- a refund that came in part out of the pay-per-view provider’s healthy cut of the purchase price.
In the case of In Demand and its ilk, there are frequently more boobs in the boardroom than on the Playboy channels.
This is not a feeling I had ever expected to have to deal with.
As it turns out, promoting and executing an event where participants are allowed to hammer each other into unconsciousness is an unwieldy thing to negotiate. The UFC, minus an occasional hiccup, has spoiled us into believing otherwise. A Zuffa broadcast is a tightly knitted, controlled bit of chaos. The camera direction is immaculate and the pacing is airtight. It looks, feels and breathes like a professional sporting event.
“Wargods,” in comparison, lacked as much talent behind the camera as in front of it. Medical and commission commitments were a jumble of he-said, he-said fiascos; 30 percent of the card was scratched; and main event fighters, save perhaps for a determined-looking Shamrock, probably wouldn’t have passed a JV football tryout.
Watching the fuzzy, shrunken feed brought to mind a wealth of other promotional embarrassments. See how many you were fortunate enough to have missed.
10. No Rain Delay (King of the Cage: Wet ‘N Wild, 2001)
Weather permitting, an outdoor fighting event can be a pleasure to experience. Ali and Foreman’s African expedition was memorable in part because of the mammoth outdoor arena. Fresh air is usually a good thing. And etc.
Except when it’s pouring down rain, at which point promoters can either take a financial bath or a physical one. King of the Cage opted for the latter: An ’01 event slated for an outdoor venue at Soboba Casino passed on a rain delay and instead invited athletes to strike and grapple in MMA’s equivalent of a Slip ‘n Slide. Fighters went for takedowns, and slid; submissions, and slid; strikes, and slid. Puddles collected on the canvas.
How these bouts can even qualify as a professional win/loss is beyond comprehension. Congratulations to all who avoided breaking their neck.
9. Crowd Riot (Pentagon Combat, 1997)
“No Contest: Fans Rioted” is not a common bout result in the Sherdog Fight Finder. One exception is Renzo Gracie’s bout with family rival Eugenio Tadeu in their home -- and hostile -- territory of Brazil.
After roughly 15 minutes of back-and-forth brawling, a crowd that had gathered around the ring apron decided passive participation wasn’t enough and someone tried to strike at Renzo, who lashed back. Chairs went flying, as did a few people. The fight never reached a resolution.
To mention that this was Pentagon Combat’s only show is perhaps unnecessary.
8. Biker Riot (Ultimate Athlete 2, 2002)
If there’s one thing more irritating than overpriced nachos, it’s getting beaten to death with a bike chain just when the show was getting good.
Ultimate Athlete organizers should have sensed a possible storm brewing when combatant Rick Slaton invited several dozen of his Mongol motorcycle gang pals to his bout in the fledgling promotion. (It’s rumored Slaton was free to sell tickets, thereby profiting from his fraternity’s presence.)
After Slaton’s opponent, Leo Pavlushkin, claimed he ate an illegal knee to the groin, impatient Mongol members began throwing refuse at the ring. This angered nearby civilians, who retaliated with airborne soda of their own. If you cannot imagine how a marauding biker gang would respond to that, you have not seen enough movies.
Eventually, sheriffs with M-16s intervened, and no deaths were reported. Any evening that ends with the K-9 unit being called is certainly worthy of entry here.
7. Well Done (Pride 9, 2000)
The Japanese fans love their spectacle, from 8-foot-tall pituitary cases ignoring doctor’s orders for tumor operations to expressing complete amusement at the idea of weight classes.
Excepting the occasional smashed orbital or arthritic knees, this is all in good fun, except when it’s not -- as in the case of Johil de Oliveira’s Pride debut in 2000. Idling near the arena entrance, de Oliveira -- who was slated to face Matt Serra -- was the victim of poor production planning when he was set ablaze by an ill-timed fireworks display.
“I was next up and saw them carry him out on a stretcher,” recalls Heath Herring of the incident. De Oliveira, though nicely toasted, fought six months later. He carried a fire extinguisher to the ring.
6. Time Out (UFC 4, 1994; UFC 33, 2001)
So much has been written about the UFC’s two monumental failures to budget time properly -- in both instances, viewers were unable to see the end of the main events because they exceeded the allotted three-hour window -- that further exposition would be tiresome. Nonetheless, they are production gaffes of the highest (or lowest) order.
That said, I’d reserve the flip remarks for the cable companies themselves, who essentially cut off their own noses to spite their faces when they remain obstinate in not allowing a time-bleeding program some breathing room. In each instance, thousands of angry fans called and demanded a refund -- a refund that came in part out of the pay-per-view provider’s healthy cut of the purchase price.
In the case of In Demand and its ilk, there are frequently more boobs in the boardroom than on the Playboy channels.
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