Religion of the week thread: Raelism

[D-MiZe]

Plus, if a religion/alien race wants to promote an ideology - why only abduct unknown humans?

Why are figures of notoriety never contacted?

David Icke is the only person I can think of who held any fame when they made an extra-terrestrial claim.

[D-MiZe]

Yea that was the weird part..

If you start you're own religion, I want to be like your high priest or something. Let's not leave out a major tenant that we need to have sex with as many women as possible.

Women always fall for that when it comes to cults. Religion is a great way to get laid.

It's all about that power thus why you get young girls with older, rich men.

I hear you though Cua, I'm thinking of giving you a position as high priest but you retain the name Cuauhtémoc. In our religion, it roughly translates to 'One who descends upon spread eagle'.

Those who marry under our religious banner will have their marriage consummated by you and the wife. Our God was a giant jellybean, so at service they drink mountain dew and eat a bag of wine gums.

Cheques increase the probability of going to our heaven, Jelly Christ appreciates those who give. I'm thinking midnight mass... every Christmas... girls only... Santa walks out, says 'ho ho ho' which isn't a festive cheer, he's actually addressing the audience... then the festivities begin.


Appreciate any more suggestions if you got 'em, Cua.

[titanium]

A religion I never heard about!

[TBear]

They lost me when they misspelled "realism".

[phallus]

Yea that was the weird part..

If you start you're own religion, I want to be like your high priest or something. Let's not leave out a major tenant that we need to have sex with as many women as possible.

Women always fall for that when it comes to cults. Religion is a great way to get laid.

Plus, if a religion/alien race wants to promote an ideology - why only abduct unknown humans?

Why are figures of notoriety never contacted?

David Icke is the only person I can think of who held any fame when they made an extra-terrestrial claim.

It's all about that power thus why you get young girls with older, rich men.

I hear you though Cua, I'm thinking of giving you a position as high priest but you retain the name Cuauhtémoc. In our religion, it roughly translates to 'One who descends upon spread eagle'.

Those who marry under our religious banner will have their marriage consummated by you and the wife. Our God was a giant jellybean, so at service they drink mountain dew and eat a bag of wine gums.

Cheques increase the probability of going to our heaven, Jelly Christ appreciates those who give. I'm thinking midnight mass... every Christmas... girls only... Santa walks out, says 'ho ho ho' which isn't a festive cheer, he's actually addressing the audience... then the festivities begin.


Appreciate any more suggestions if you got 'em, Cua.

you guys should just become mormon prophets, i've read a few stories lately where con men claimed to be prophets so they could bang the young LDS girls. i think most cults are just scams to get laid, reverend moon was fathering dozens of children with all the hot young girls, elijah mohammed was banging six different young hotties in his church, jim jones did the same thing, charles manson, etc. it's all about *****, if you wanna get laid create a new false religion, as long as you're the "prophet" at the top of the pyramid you'll get first poke of all the hot new converts

[Cuauhtémoc1520]

It's all about that power thus why you get young girls with older, rich men.

I hear you though Cua, I'm thinking of giving you a position as high priest but you retain the name Cuauhtémoc. In our religion, it roughly translates to 'One who descends upon spread eagle'.

Those who marry under our religious banner will have their marriage consummated by you and the wife. Our God was a giant jellybean, so at service they drink mountain dew and eat a bag of wine gums.

Cheques increase the probability of going to our heaven, Jelly Christ appreciates those who give. I'm thinking midnight mass... every Christmas... girls only... Santa walks out, says 'ho ho ho' which isn't a festive cheer, he's actually addressing the audience... then the festivities begin.


Appreciate any more suggestions if you got 'em, Cua.

I'm down 100%, the girls during Christmas mass though have to wear skimpy santa outfits or elf outfits, your choice.

Instead of the holy wafer, we take a hit of peyote or DMT and really have a talk with the jellybean christ.

name Cuauhtémoc. In our religion, it roughly translates to 'One who descends upon spread eagle'.

That was genius.....hahahaha