Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Saturday Night: A Drinking Tale

Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Saturday Night: A Drinking Tale

    Went out for a coworker's birthday the other night. As some of you may know, these days I put my degree to proper use by bartending at a fine-dining restaurant. The wait staff is younger (18-23) than I am (27); told them I'd come out for one (1) drink.

    One vodka on the rocks turned segued into myself and a waitress asking for the bartender to bring us a beer, any beer. The ****er brought us ciders with a shot of fireball in them, tasted like ****. So I chugged the both of them while she went back and got us White Russians. Drank those, followed by birthday shots.

    Then I went to the house party I said I would certainly not go to. Played bartender and made everyone do shots of vodka and Malibu black. **** music was played. Girls were wrestling. More shots, and I crossed the line into being ******ed drunk.

    Went outside and puked. Smoked weed with the kids outside for no reason. At some point, I no longer had a nose ring. Ran into birthday girl and her sister, told them I was leaving and they offered to walk out to my car with me, aka talk me out of driving home.

    Got to the car and sloppily kissed the birthday girl, despite the fact that I have a girlfriend and had puked roughly 15 minutes before. Got a positive reaction anyway, and made out with her on the hood of my car until her sister dragged her off.

    Driving home, the car was spinning. I was about halfway there when it ****ing happened; projectile puked. All over my steering wheel, dash, and new clothes. ****ing rancid cider and vodka and buffalo wings.

    Barely made it in the door. Woke up naked and confused five hours later and couldn't get back to sleep; had to work a double at the goddamn bar that day. Terrible, TERRIBLE hangover.

    Cleaned my car out yesterday. Still smells like ****ing puke.

    Figured this story would lighten the mood of the lounge a bit. Feel free to share your own recent misadventures.

  • #2
    that's awfully drunk to be driving, brih


    i feel like an old man when i hang out with early 20somethings myself. i never thought it would happen, but it did. i'm talking about all types of old man sh#t while they tap away on smart phones with serious speed.

    Comment


    • #3
      Paulf: you fkin rookie. I lost two cousins to a drunk driver when they were only 18 years old. Both were accepted to a prestigious university for an engineering degree with their tuition fully paid for. What you wrote about is not to be taken lightly and is nowhere near being a misadventure...it is a crime.


      Fuck you

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by spytactics View Post
        Paulf: you fkin rookie. I lost two cousins to a drunk driver when they were only 18 years old. Both were accepted to a prestigious university for an engineering degree with their tuition fully paid for. What you wrote about is not to be taken lightly and is nowhere near being a misadventure...it is a crime.


        Fuck you
        I second that.

        I've lost someone close to my family to a drunk driver.

        I'm not gonna judge you for doing it cos was we've all done stupid stuff when we're drunk. But to think it's funny?! Grow up man.

        Comment


        • #5
          Nothing to be impressed by, or proud of, Paul.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by New England View Post
            that's awfully drunk to be driving, brih


            i feel like an old man when i hang out with early 20somethings myself. i never thought it would happen, but it did. i'm talking about all types of old man sh#t while they tap away on smart phones with serious speed.
            My driving under the influence is rock sold solid, man. And I did wait until I thought I was ready to make the trek home, but I guess I shoulda puked more.

            And man is that the truth. These kids I work with don't even know who Motley Crue is, for ****s sake! We were talking about internet stuff and one of the 18 year old hostesses looked at me and said "How do you know what a .gif is?

            Comment


            • #7
              damn Paul that's Beercules level drunk

              Comment

              Working...
              X
              TOP