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COLD STEEL’S WEEKEND RECAP: JACOBS VS QUILLIN, CUELLAR VS OQUENDO, AND OTHER ****
By Skyler Berman
I don’t like to talk about myself much when I write about boxing because… well… nobody gives a ****. But I wanted to quickly tell everyone who has consistently read my **** why I have been gone for so long. About a month ago my closest and oldest friend passed. He had pancreatic cancer and was 27 years old. There wasn’t a lot of funny in me for a little while and it’s a damn shame cause a lot of funny **** happened while I was sulking in my room eating cottage cheese and masturbating to Yusaf Mack films. Some ***** who hadn’t even grasped the basic fundamentals of boxing got put on the cover of Ring Magazine by known fishnet and cocaine enthusiast Oscar De La Hoya. She talked about how she might go over to boxing and dominate there because, well, it’s just that easy. She then proceeded to get the living **** beaten out of her by a boxer in her own world. I felt such an emotional high I momentarily questioned my beliefs (I have none) in a higher power. Shortly after that Canelo beat the second gayest Puerto Rican fighter in the world, Miguel Cotto in a clear decision. The card was dope--if you put aside Rigo winning every round and landing only 70 punches-- and my morale raised a bit higher. Then… last week, something beautiful happened. Wladimir Klitschko, quite possibly the ****tiest dominant champion in the history of boxing stood around shell shocked as he let a guy with the athleticism and fundamental boxing ability of a warthog hold his hands below his dick and smack him from a distance all night long en route to a unanimous decision loss. Many people claimed that Klitschko lost because he’s over the hill. I don’t buy that **** for a second. He lost because he’s soft. Always has been. After this happened, it hit me… Rousey, Cotto, and Klitschko all losing in the span of a month? There is an afterlife, and T. is on the other side giving me gifts, manipulating ****… basically what I’m trying to say is Deontay Wilder is ****ed.
I really wish Showtime would stop ****ing with me and delaying **** so I could watch the undercard before the main event like the **** was made to be viewed. How the **** am I supposed to watch Quillin get stomped the **** out and then immediately afterwards be expected to give a single **** about a dude from the worst US Olympic boxing class ever and Ol’ “trapped in a cage boy”? That wasn’t the end of my issues with delayed broadcasts today. I was going to write about the Rafael Rivera vs Wilfredo Vazquez Jr fight on HBO Latino, but it’s not showing for my ***** ass until Monday night. Now THAT is a ****ing delay.
Anyway, Marcus Browne thrashed on some dude for a few rounds before the fight was stopped. No one on Earth cared. After that went down Chris Algieri did Chris Algieri stuff. Browne could be an interesting fighter in the future… I don’t really see it the way I do with Spence, Crawford, or some of the other up and coming cats right now but it’s a possibility. As far as Chris, why the **** is he even on TV? He’s boring as **** and has never been anything more than average. Why am I forced to see him on my TV and come up with new cage jokes every six months? By the way, the dude who reffed this fight looked like a Kroger brand Mills Lane.
In the co-main event Jesus Cuellar thoroughly out-worked Jonothan Oquendo in what was a pretty dull fight. I truly thought this scrap would be a ton better. Puerto Rican boxing is getting closer to sucking as bad as Columbian boxing every single weekend.
Daniel Jacobs might be the most likable dude in boxing. He’s a class act and his story touches me (not like that you sick ****s. Not everything I say is innuendo. Just most of it.), especially after recently losing a close friend to cancer. All that being said, I really didn’t think he had a chance to beat Peter Quillin. I mean, the dude got put the **** down by Sergio Mora. Sergio Mora couldn’t lay down a whore if he had a lifetime supply of roofies. I was very happy to be wrong. Jacobs caught Quillin early and after about 30 seconds of basically unanswered pounding Peter was out on his feet. A lot of people thought the fight was stopped early despite the fact that Quillin’s eyes looked like Steve Willis at the time of the stoppage. Dude was looking everywhere, but straight and five minutes later during the post fight interview he made zero sense. He was DONE.
During the telecast, Showtime was promoting the hell out of Deontay Wilder’s fight in January. He’s a month out and he’s still scheduled to fight TBA… I’m sure he’ll be fighting someone that is absolutely ****ing dynamic. I’m waiting on a “changing of the guard” fight with Butter Bean ‘cause neither him nor Tyson Fury will want any part of Anthony Joshua after he takes care of Dillian Whyte next weekend. Speaking of next weekend, join me then for that fight and much more on the only weekly boxing column that doubles as material to touch yourself to, Cold Steel’s Weekend Recap!
P.S. Sakio Bika’s wife’s vagina lips. (Just carrying on tradition.)
#FreeMumia
#FreeHRapBrown
#FreeTheMove9
#FreeTheAngola3
#FreeChrisAlgieri
I have this
COLD STEEL’S WEEKEND RECAP: JACOBS VS QUILLIN, CUELLAR VS OQUENDO, AND OTHER ****
By Skyler Berman
I don’t like to talk about myself much when I write about boxing because… well… nobody gives a ****. But I wanted to quickly tell everyone who has consistently read my **** why I have been gone for so long. About a month ago my closest and oldest friend passed. He had pancreatic cancer and was 27 years old. There wasn’t a lot of funny in me for a little while and it’s a damn shame cause a lot of funny **** happened while I was sulking in my room eating cottage cheese and masturbating to Yusaf Mack films. Some ***** who hadn’t even grasped the basic fundamentals of boxing got put on the cover of Ring Magazine by known fishnet and cocaine enthusiast Oscar De La Hoya. She talked about how she might go over to boxing and dominate there because, well, it’s just that easy. She then proceeded to get the living **** beaten out of her by a boxer in her own world. I felt such an emotional high I momentarily questioned my beliefs (I have none) in a higher power. Shortly after that Canelo beat the second gayest Puerto Rican fighter in the world, Miguel Cotto in a clear decision. The card was dope--if you put aside Rigo winning every round and landing only 70 punches-- and my morale raised a bit higher. Then… last week, something beautiful happened. Wladimir Klitschko, quite possibly the ****tiest dominant champion in the history of boxing stood around shell shocked as he let a guy with the athleticism and fundamental boxing ability of a warthog hold his hands below his dick and smack him from a distance all night long en route to a unanimous decision loss. Many people claimed that Klitschko lost because he’s over the hill. I don’t buy that **** for a second. He lost because he’s soft. Always has been. After this happened, it hit me… Rousey, Cotto, and Klitschko all losing in the span of a month? There is an afterlife, and T. is on the other side giving me gifts, manipulating ****… basically what I’m trying to say is Deontay Wilder is ****ed.
I really wish Showtime would stop ****ing with me and delaying **** so I could watch the undercard before the main event like the **** was made to be viewed. How the **** am I supposed to watch Quillin get stomped the **** out and then immediately afterwards be expected to give a single **** about a dude from the worst US Olympic boxing class ever and Ol’ “trapped in a cage boy”? That wasn’t the end of my issues with delayed broadcasts today. I was going to write about the Rafael Rivera vs Wilfredo Vazquez Jr fight on HBO Latino, but it’s not showing for my ***** ass until Monday night. Now THAT is a ****ing delay.
Anyway, Marcus Browne thrashed on some dude for a few rounds before the fight was stopped. No one on Earth cared. After that went down Chris Algieri did Chris Algieri stuff. Browne could be an interesting fighter in the future… I don’t really see it the way I do with Spence, Crawford, or some of the other up and coming cats right now but it’s a possibility. As far as Chris, why the **** is he even on TV? He’s boring as **** and has never been anything more than average. Why am I forced to see him on my TV and come up with new cage jokes every six months? By the way, the dude who reffed this fight looked like a Kroger brand Mills Lane.
In the co-main event Jesus Cuellar thoroughly out-worked Jonothan Oquendo in what was a pretty dull fight. I truly thought this scrap would be a ton better. Puerto Rican boxing is getting closer to sucking as bad as Columbian boxing every single weekend.
Daniel Jacobs might be the most likable dude in boxing. He’s a class act and his story touches me (not like that you sick ****s. Not everything I say is innuendo. Just most of it.), especially after recently losing a close friend to cancer. All that being said, I really didn’t think he had a chance to beat Peter Quillin. I mean, the dude got put the **** down by Sergio Mora. Sergio Mora couldn’t lay down a whore if he had a lifetime supply of roofies. I was very happy to be wrong. Jacobs caught Quillin early and after about 30 seconds of basically unanswered pounding Peter was out on his feet. A lot of people thought the fight was stopped early despite the fact that Quillin’s eyes looked like Steve Willis at the time of the stoppage. Dude was looking everywhere, but straight and five minutes later during the post fight interview he made zero sense. He was DONE.
During the telecast, Showtime was promoting the hell out of Deontay Wilder’s fight in January. He’s a month out and he’s still scheduled to fight TBA… I’m sure he’ll be fighting someone that is absolutely ****ing dynamic. I’m waiting on a “changing of the guard” fight with Butter Bean ‘cause neither him nor Tyson Fury will want any part of Anthony Joshua after he takes care of Dillian Whyte next weekend. Speaking of next weekend, join me then for that fight and much more on the only weekly boxing column that doubles as material to touch yourself to, Cold Steel’s Weekend Recap!
P.S. Sakio Bika’s wife’s vagina lips. (Just carrying on tradition.)
#FreeMumia
#FreeHRapBrown
#FreeTheMove9
#FreeTheAngola3
#FreeChrisAlgieri
I have this