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Got into an argument with some man over my girlfriend tonight...

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  • Got into an argument with some man over my girlfriend tonight...

    ... we had a couple of hours before our fourth prayers of the day, so I thought I'd take her out for a bite to eat.

    As we sit down, straight away I notice some man looking over at her, really staring. In Sha ' Allah, I try to ignore it and not get annoyed, and just chat to her. All the time he's staring at her. This goes on for two minutes, three minutes, five minutes...

    In the end, he's been sat there for ten minutes just staring at her, so I get up, go over to him and shout in his face "are you staring at my girlfriend's eyelids?"

    He started panicking and claimed he wasn't, but it ruined my night and I dragged her out of the restaurant.

    On the way back I don't say a word, and just stand there in the kitchen, buttering some Halal toast and fuming to myself.

    After a couple of minutes she tries stroking my arm to see what was wrong. That was it - I just lost it completely.

    "Thank Lord merciful Allah that I don't use this butter knife to behead you for your sinful behaviour," I cried out, "I told you your Hijab had a slit that was too wide, you tempted Satan this evening!"

    With that, I slammed her face in the kitchen drawer, breaking her nose, then threw her to the ground and whipped her with my belt ten times.

    "Tomorrow after morning prayers I shall whip you a hundred more times for your sins in the name of the prophet Mohammed!" I told her.

    Afterwards I went around the neighbours houses and told them what had happened, and promised them they could take part in her stoning tomorrow.

    "If she lives," I informed them, "I'll allow her to beg my forgiveness. But I expect to see the steps of our Mosque covered with her blood as punishment for her sluttish Western-like behaviour."

    A lot of people say that Islam is disrespectful to women, but I was standing up for her honour tonight.

    Salla Allahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam.

  • #2
    inshallah you will tell us more stories. inshallah akbar allah muhhamad jihad

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Anorak Akbar View Post
      ... we had a couple of hours before our fourth prayers of the day, so I thought I'd take her out for a bite to eat.

      As we sit down, straight away I notice some man looking over at her, really staring. In Sha ' Allah, I try to ignore it and not get annoyed, and just chat to her. All the time he's staring at her. This goes on for two minutes, three minutes, five minutes...

      In the end, he's been sat there for ten minutes just staring at her, so I get up, go over to him and shout in his face "are you staring at my girlfriend's eyelids?"

      He started panicking and claimed he wasn't, but it ruined my night and I dragged her out of the restaurant.

      On the way back I don't say a word, and just stand there in the kitchen, buttering some Halal toast and fuming to myself.

      After a couple of minutes she tries stroking my arm to see what was wrong. That was it - I just lost it completely.

      "Thank Lord merciful Allah that I don't use this butter knife to behead you for your sinful behaviour," I cried out, "I told you your Hijab had a slit that was too wide, you tempted Satan this evening!"

      With that, I slammed her face in the kitchen drawer, breaking her nose, then threw her to the ground and whipped her with my belt ten times.

      "Tomorrow after morning prayers I shall whip you a hundred more times for your sins in the name of the prophet Mohammed!" I told her.

      Afterwards I went around the neighbours houses and told them what had happened, and promised them they could take part in her stoning tomorrow.

      "If she lives," I informed them, "I'll allow her to beg my forgiveness. But I expect to see the steps of our Mosque covered with her blood as punishment for her sluttish Western-like behaviour."

      A lot of people say that Islam is disrespectful to women, but I was standing up for her honour tonight.

      Salla Allahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam.
      Haha that kept getting better and better, holy ****

      Comment


      • #4
        The cunt got what she deserved...

        Comment


        • #5
          i am not a muslim but i started chanting allahu akbar in a thick middle eastern accent midway thru your post.

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          • #6
            looooooool.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Anorak Akbar View Post
              ... we had a couple of hours before our fourth prayers of the day, so I thought I'd take her out for a bite to eat.

              As we sit down, straight away I notice some man looking over at her, really staring. In Sha ' Allah, I try to ignore it and not get annoyed, and just chat to her. All the time he's staring at her. This goes on for two minutes, three minutes, five minutes...

              In the end, he's been sat there for ten minutes just staring at her, so I get up, go over to him and shout in his face "are you staring at my girlfriend's eyelids?"

              He started panicking and claimed he wasn't, but it ruined my night and I dragged her out of the restaurant.

              On the way back I don't say a word, and just stand there in the kitchen, buttering some Halal toast and fuming to myself.

              After a couple of minutes she tries stroking my arm to see what was wrong. That was it - I just lost it completely.

              "Thank Lord merciful Allah that I don't use this butter knife to behead you for your sinful behaviour," I cried out, "I told you your Hijab had a slit that was too wide, you tempted Satan this evening!"

              With that, I slammed her face in the kitchen drawer, breaking her nose, then threw her to the ground and whipped her with my belt ten times.

              "Tomorrow after morning prayers I shall whip you a hundred more times for your sins in the name of the prophet Mohammed!" I told her.

              Afterwards I went around the neighbours houses and told them what had happened, and promised them they could take part in her stoning tomorrow.

              "If she lives," I informed them, "I'll allow her to beg my forgiveness. But I expect to see the steps of our Mosque covered with her blood as punishment for her sluttish Western-like behaviour."

              A lot of people say that Islam is disrespectful to women, but I was standing up for her honour tonight.

              Salla Allahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam.

              Comment


              • #8
                dude that was good. I'm literally lol'ing



                A+

                Comment


                • #9
                  One of the best ones

                  Comment


                  • #10

                    Get your next wives these, then you won't have that problem.

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