Hilarious article about tonight's Heavyweight Prizefighter

[Sparked_1985]

By Derek McGovern

The British heavyweight division has always had a bad reputation Stateside. By "bad reputation", I mean "laughing stock".

Americans say our big boys are upright, immobile and easy to hit. That's early on in a fight - soon they are horizontal, immobile and easier to hit.

The only department where you can't fault British heavyweights is their heaviness. Most look like bouncers - and that's because most are.

That's why they're so aggressive in the opening rounds - the other guy is wearing trainers.

Sky's Prizefighter series is a brilliant idea. Put eight British heavies going nowhere on the same bill and from eight losers you conjure up one winner. You might think I'm being harsh in labelling them all losers - until you see that the favourite is Audley Harrison.

The 37-year-old pacifist has lost four of his last eight fights, including one to a Belfast taxi-driver, yet still believes he can be world champion within two years, presumably on the basis Sylvester Stallone became champ aged 60 in Rocky VI.

This was in British national newspaper - The Mirror.

The bold has me laughing out loud on the train to work. Pacifist!

[Shattered Jaw]

LMFAO.

It's true though. 8 China Chinned Brits smaking each other up for peanuts.

[Sparked_1985]

LMFAO.

It's true though. 8 China Chinned Brits smaking each other up for peanuts.

Literally any of them can KTFO everyone else in the tournament, even Carl Baker whom I have never heard of could win this, haha.

I can't wait to see Audley try and tip-tap behind a jab whilst everyone else in the tournament is going to try and take his face off. I can't see how bookies are making him favourite, I love Audley (someone has too) but he is getting KTFO tonight as sure as eggs are eggs.

A 9-minute-shootout with a guy who hates fighting. Whoever thinks Audley is suited to this format is mad.

I'm going to go with Coleman Barrett.

[mickey malone]

Harrison fought as an amateur for too long, turned pro at the ridiculous age of 32, then totally ****ed his shoulder lifting weights for charity..
Simply a case of wasted opportunity I'm afraid, but even if this wasn't the case, his chin would have let him down anyway..

For a small island in the North Sea, Britain has contributed admirably to the division, but in recent years, have slipped almost as far as America in floundering to find a heavyweight, good enough to thwart the Russian domination..

[Sparked_1985]

Harrison fought as an amateur for too long, turned pro at the ridiculous age of 32, then totally ****ed his shoulder lifting weights for charity..
Simply a case of wasted opportunity I'm afraid, but even if this wasn't the case, his chin would have let him down anyway..

For a small island in the North Sea, Britain has contributed admirably to the division, but in recent years, have slipped almost as far as America in floundering to find a heavyweight, good enough heavyweight to thwart the Russian domination..

Good points, this why people shouldn't ****e on Tyson Fury.

At 20-years-old and becoming increasingly battle-hardened in a pro ring with some decent fundamentals - he should do okay.

The lads in this tournament are all limited though, Audley by age and injury and lack of self-belief (where it counts) and Danny by too many wars and punch resistance that has really really dwindled. The others aren't at that level to begin with.

[Chunk..]

Danny Willaims has taken so many blows to the head that he doesn't know how to turn left, but i can't help but pull for the Muslim from Brixton. I don't think 'Audrey' will make the final.