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It was revealed in an interview this week that title challenger Lucas Martin Matthysse has "suffered severe setbacks in training".
The Argentinian, who campaigns at light welterweight, explained:
"Ever since my last bout I've had a tattooed emo faggot hanging off my dick. It really holds me back when I'm sparring or trying to run in the mornings."
"A lot of people in my camp say to me 'can't you ignore the faggot? After all, he only weighs about 90lbs, what difference can it make?' But even though that's true, the guy's about seven foot tall... it's hard to fit that much on your dick, especially when skipping rope."
Matthysse explained how even his basic gym regimens have been disrupted:
"I always have a particular piece of music I like to play when I'm working on my power with the heavy bag. But lately every time I switch it on, this pierced emo jumps down off my cock and switches on 'The Real Slim Shady', telling me it has the depth and profundity of Dante's Inferno. It's like I can't even twitch my dick muscles without feeling this streaky **** hanging on there, 24/7."
When asked about his chances of beating Garcia, Matthysse suddenly looked crestfallen and shook his head.
"The biggest fight of my life, fighting for the unified championship. And come fight night I'll be having to drag 232lbs around that ring... 147lbs for me, 85lbs of an emo with HIV."
"He's got an avatar right now that lists my keys to victory. It says 'show up, sodomise, go home.' Sadly," said Matthysse, wiping away a tear, "it'll be more like 'show up, struggle to move with this pipe smoker riding my cock, take a wide UD loss because of it."
The Argentinian, who campaigns at light welterweight, explained:
"Ever since my last bout I've had a tattooed emo faggot hanging off my dick. It really holds me back when I'm sparring or trying to run in the mornings."
"A lot of people in my camp say to me 'can't you ignore the faggot? After all, he only weighs about 90lbs, what difference can it make?' But even though that's true, the guy's about seven foot tall... it's hard to fit that much on your dick, especially when skipping rope."
Matthysse explained how even his basic gym regimens have been disrupted:
"I always have a particular piece of music I like to play when I'm working on my power with the heavy bag. But lately every time I switch it on, this pierced emo jumps down off my cock and switches on 'The Real Slim Shady', telling me it has the depth and profundity of Dante's Inferno. It's like I can't even twitch my dick muscles without feeling this streaky **** hanging on there, 24/7."
When asked about his chances of beating Garcia, Matthysse suddenly looked crestfallen and shook his head.
"The biggest fight of my life, fighting for the unified championship. And come fight night I'll be having to drag 232lbs around that ring... 147lbs for me, 85lbs of an emo with HIV."
"He's got an avatar right now that lists my keys to victory. It says 'show up, sodomise, go home.' Sadly," said Matthysse, wiping away a tear, "it'll be more like 'show up, struggle to move with this pipe smoker riding my cock, take a wide UD loss because of it."
Dammit Anorak, my heart dropped a little reading the thread title.
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