Love fun and positivity

[MARKBNLV]

No matter how many times I try to have a positive outlook on life, I still wind up being as negative and as cynical as ever.

When I turned 30 I did change briefly, I felt it was a new chapter. However, some months later, I made some scary realizations that I always kind of knew but it didn't quite grasp the reality of it in my 20s. That's when things went bad again.

Like what for instance?
Are you like me and destroy your own happiness
because thats what i do and i have no clue why
once i have everything in place and i am happy
the devil in me comes out and wipes it away.

[MARKBNLV]

..............................

[Derranged]

Like what for instance?
Are you like me and destroy your own happiness
because thats what i do and i have no clue why
once i have everything in place and i am happy
the devil in me comes out and wipes it away.

The reality of death struck me. When i hit 30, it finally occurred to me: I'm gonna die someday. And then I thought, how long do my parents have? Etc.. Obviously everyone dies, wasn't news to me. But it wasn't until then I actually thought of it deeply. I don't know, its hard to explain.

[Spray_resistant]

The reality of death struck me. When i hit 30, it finally occurred to me: I'm gonna die someday. And then I thought, how long do my parents have? Etc.. Obviously everyone dies, wasn't news to me. But it wasn't until then I actually thought of it deeply. I don't know, its hard to explain.

You can't do anything about that so no point in wasting energy worrying about, worry about all of the things you can change and make better.

[MARKBNLV]

The reality of death struck me. When i hit 30, it finally occurred to me: I'm gonna die someday. And then I thought, how long do my parents have? Etc.. Obviously everyone dies, wasn't news to me. But it wasn't until then I actually thought of it deeply. I don't know, its hard to explain.

Nah man i totally get it 30 was a big one for me also its really what set off my depression just the opposite of how you tried to deal with it,oh and that deep thinking you were doing thats emotion brother.Crazy to think at 30 years old i dont even know myself yet some people seem to have me figured out just shows how eegotistical some are.

[I Love Jesus!]

Some things i have lacked in the last few years that i intend to change this year
sick of living life not wanting to live all i know is every single negative person or aspect of my life is over its time to be happy again.anyone else ever lost themselves and cameback because i fully intend on doing so this year even on the forums.

All the time it's the human condition. Boredom being forced to work life is a strange thing.

[I Love Jesus!]

No matter how many times I try to have a positive outlook on life, I still wind up being as negative and as cynical as ever.

When I turned 30 I did change briefly, I felt it was a new chapter. However, some months later, I made some scary realizations that I always kind of knew but it didn't quite grasp the reality of it in my 20s. That's when things went bad again.

Is that when you came out of the closet?

[MARKBNLV]

All the time it's the human condition. Boredom being forced to work life is a strange thing.

It goes pretty deep with me a few months back i was literally on the edge of a cliff about to jump the only thing that saved me is the love for my family.

[I Love Jesus!]

It goes pretty deep with me a few months back i was literally on the edge of a cliff about to jump the only thing that saved me is the love for my family.

Yeah man a lot of people actually do it. You're not alone.give meds a shot.

[MARKBNLV]

Yeah man a lot of people actually do it. You're not alone.give meds a shot.

Pride has stopped me in the past but maybe i do need the help i am so tired of being sick and tired as they say.