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As my first review of a "classic" bout from recent history went down quite well, I thought I'd take a look at another barnburner....
ROUND ONE:
This fight was eagerly anticipated for some years, but, truth to tell, it was a couple of years past point of interest when it finally happened. It didn't come eight years too late and have the brass balls to call itself "fight of the century", but it was certainly not the event it could have been.
After the gayest ring walks in history ("I vill go und get my bruzzer" "I'm ummmmm... definitely kept waiting... definitely") we get the fight. Well, I say "fight".
Now, I didn't actually have any problem whatsoever with the first third of this fight. We all really know that David "Kiss Chase" Haye wouldn't go toe-to-toe and it'd be strategic, so it's no biggee. And even though I scored the first four 3-1 in favour of Wlad, he was in the fight... psychologically, if nothing else. Goading Wlad, getting inside his head - there are several points where Wlad looks so angry he almost wants to throw a right hand - he even opens a cut under Wlad's eye. It's only from round 5 on that the ***gotry starts to really creep in. From rounds 1-4 Haye looks like a guy pacing himself with a plan... from rounds 5-12 he looks like a Mexican who's just seen GGG enter the building and said "tell my fans that I was always a career light middleweight, honest."
On the night I have to admit that I didn't like Haye's extra long beard, and I did think that Wlad was edging the dish off, so I knew it wouldn't come off that well. But even though I do like Haye, he'd recently been on chat shows that my mum (mom, Fat Yanks) watches, talking about blow jobs, so his crassness was getting on my nerves. Wlad had to win in the name of manners.
In the first round you can see concern on Wlad's face as he's unable to land a single clinch. When he gets back to the corner Manny Steward has to calm him down, saying "you're trying to rush into it, relax and take your time... holding on like a raving faggot will come naturally as long as you don't force it." However, his fans must have felt something was amiss to see a key piece of his arsenal missing in the early stages of the fight.
At the time I scored this for Wlad, and still probably do, but I think it's fair to say that it's a close round that could realistically go either way. Unless you're Freedom, then it's a 10-4 round for Wlad.
ROUND TWO:
The most notable part of round one was Haye visiting the canvas after a botched clinch from Wlad. Wlad had never scored so low on grab-u-box before, and his fans were dismayed.
Here Wlad manages to land four right hands, which is a surprise as they have a further distance to travel than his jabs which miss. I can only conclude that Haye was surprised he threw one, let alone four. Although Wlad is more aggressive and committing more, both are still pawing like fags, a pair of shaky-chinned ****s who don't want to get cracked.
When Haye gets close Wlad paws at him, pulls him a bit. He reminds me of a cat trying to kill a mouse... if the mouse comes towards him he grabs it and holds it just in case.
"Nyet! Can't let mouseski go... I might get countered and my brother Vitali vill have to take rimattcchhh!"
Haye gets little done in this interesting (IMO) chess match, though still credits himself fairly admirably at this early stage. 10-9 Wladski.
ROUND THREE:
These days I almost hate David Haye, he's like a confidence trickster, constantly selling TV companies utter ****e and killing the sport in the eyes of the UK public. A fight against a mid-40s Shannon "The Asthma Cannon" Briggs would be enough of a piss-take by itself, but we even had to have both in "warm up" bouts before it. He's a joke.
Back here, though, he still has something. He's slower these days, in possession of moobs, and nowhere near as much a dish. Back in this era, I felt he COULD have potentially taken over the division. Potentially.
While this round is fairly even on punches landed, Haye lands about three or four significant shots in this one, seeing Wlad initiate the move known as "clinchski". It's Haye's second visit to the canvas without a KD. Haye talks to Wlad often, and you suspect that something may happen. Nothing really does, though.
One significant moment comes towards the end of the round, where Wladski gets aggressive and goes for a two-fisted attack, only for Haye to beckon him in. This kind of fight - both standing in front of each other, blasting with both hands - would obviously be incredibly exciting for the minute (max) it would last. Both are heavy-handed, shaky-chinned ****ers. Neither are at optimum levels for power, one throwing up, one throwing down and, while I suspect Wladski could take a flush Gayemaker more than the reverse (I could be wrong, though) Haye would have the edge in handspeed. I think even the most fervent Kliteratti would agree that such a scenario would be something like a 50-50 toss up that could go either way, and so sensible Wladski goes back to the jabski.
10-9 Haye.
ROUND FOUR:
What's interesting is the corners, which I didn't see on the advert-led UK broadcast (putting ads on PPV broadcasts... they take the fucking piss), and the HBO ragging. SKY TV weren't exactly full of praise for Haye's antics, but fuck me Larry's going at it. Roy, being Roy, makes it about himself.
Most interesting is Manny Steward, who tells Wlad after three that he's not sure which way the fight is going, that Haye may be taking these rounds. After the fourth, he tells Wlad that he allowed Haye to steal it. I disagree, there... even though Haye threw three Gayemakers at the end (none of which appeared to land flush, but all of which made Wlad **** himself) I thought Wlad won this one fairly clearly.
10-9 Wladski
ROUND FIVE:
In fairness, Haye kind of did more in this round than I recalled (Manny Steward gives Wlad **** when he gets back to the corner) but it's now becoming a joke. It's all skittering around, then maybe six attempted shots. And every time he gets close to Wlad, he gets a clinchski or pushed onto the canvas, or Wlad backs away... if this is a chess match, it's a chess match where both players keep moving their pieces out of the way. Neither gets a checkmate, but Wlad gets to say "I moved my chess pieces betterski." Call me a homer, but I kind of think that maybe Haye DID damage his toe, as his offence is so far off... when he does try and throw his Gayemakers at Wlad, most of them are so wide of the target they're further than a Jew's hand from his wallet when it's time to buy a round.
10-9 Wladski
ROUND SIX:
Piss-taking aside though, this is a heckuva lot better from Haye than I'd recalled at this relatively late stage of the fight. I'd remembered him doing reasonably okay for the first third, then letting Wlad take over. But while Wlad's the aggressor here, Haye is the one landing more heavily, with counterpunches that even open a sizeable cut below Wlad's eye. I'd recalled that cut opening earlier, in first three rounds, so it was a surprise to see it happen in the middle rounds.
I scored this a Haye round, making it 4-2 Wlad to this point, but, as I said, the first round was close. So at this stage you could say it was even on the scorecards without too much of a stretch, a lot better than the early blow out some expected.
Just a shame after this point it goes **** up...
ROUND ONE:
This fight was eagerly anticipated for some years, but, truth to tell, it was a couple of years past point of interest when it finally happened. It didn't come eight years too late and have the brass balls to call itself "fight of the century", but it was certainly not the event it could have been.
After the gayest ring walks in history ("I vill go und get my bruzzer" "I'm ummmmm... definitely kept waiting... definitely") we get the fight. Well, I say "fight".
Now, I didn't actually have any problem whatsoever with the first third of this fight. We all really know that David "Kiss Chase" Haye wouldn't go toe-to-toe and it'd be strategic, so it's no biggee. And even though I scored the first four 3-1 in favour of Wlad, he was in the fight... psychologically, if nothing else. Goading Wlad, getting inside his head - there are several points where Wlad looks so angry he almost wants to throw a right hand - he even opens a cut under Wlad's eye. It's only from round 5 on that the ***gotry starts to really creep in. From rounds 1-4 Haye looks like a guy pacing himself with a plan... from rounds 5-12 he looks like a Mexican who's just seen GGG enter the building and said "tell my fans that I was always a career light middleweight, honest."
On the night I have to admit that I didn't like Haye's extra long beard, and I did think that Wlad was edging the dish off, so I knew it wouldn't come off that well. But even though I do like Haye, he'd recently been on chat shows that my mum (mom, Fat Yanks) watches, talking about blow jobs, so his crassness was getting on my nerves. Wlad had to win in the name of manners.
In the first round you can see concern on Wlad's face as he's unable to land a single clinch. When he gets back to the corner Manny Steward has to calm him down, saying "you're trying to rush into it, relax and take your time... holding on like a raving faggot will come naturally as long as you don't force it." However, his fans must have felt something was amiss to see a key piece of his arsenal missing in the early stages of the fight.
At the time I scored this for Wlad, and still probably do, but I think it's fair to say that it's a close round that could realistically go either way. Unless you're Freedom, then it's a 10-4 round for Wlad.
ROUND TWO:
The most notable part of round one was Haye visiting the canvas after a botched clinch from Wlad. Wlad had never scored so low on grab-u-box before, and his fans were dismayed.
Here Wlad manages to land four right hands, which is a surprise as they have a further distance to travel than his jabs which miss. I can only conclude that Haye was surprised he threw one, let alone four. Although Wlad is more aggressive and committing more, both are still pawing like fags, a pair of shaky-chinned ****s who don't want to get cracked.
When Haye gets close Wlad paws at him, pulls him a bit. He reminds me of a cat trying to kill a mouse... if the mouse comes towards him he grabs it and holds it just in case.
"Nyet! Can't let mouseski go... I might get countered and my brother Vitali vill have to take rimattcchhh!"
Haye gets little done in this interesting (IMO) chess match, though still credits himself fairly admirably at this early stage. 10-9 Wladski.
ROUND THREE:
These days I almost hate David Haye, he's like a confidence trickster, constantly selling TV companies utter ****e and killing the sport in the eyes of the UK public. A fight against a mid-40s Shannon "The Asthma Cannon" Briggs would be enough of a piss-take by itself, but we even had to have both in "warm up" bouts before it. He's a joke.
Back here, though, he still has something. He's slower these days, in possession of moobs, and nowhere near as much a dish. Back in this era, I felt he COULD have potentially taken over the division. Potentially.
While this round is fairly even on punches landed, Haye lands about three or four significant shots in this one, seeing Wlad initiate the move known as "clinchski". It's Haye's second visit to the canvas without a KD. Haye talks to Wlad often, and you suspect that something may happen. Nothing really does, though.
One significant moment comes towards the end of the round, where Wladski gets aggressive and goes for a two-fisted attack, only for Haye to beckon him in. This kind of fight - both standing in front of each other, blasting with both hands - would obviously be incredibly exciting for the minute (max) it would last. Both are heavy-handed, shaky-chinned ****ers. Neither are at optimum levels for power, one throwing up, one throwing down and, while I suspect Wladski could take a flush Gayemaker more than the reverse (I could be wrong, though) Haye would have the edge in handspeed. I think even the most fervent Kliteratti would agree that such a scenario would be something like a 50-50 toss up that could go either way, and so sensible Wladski goes back to the jabski.
10-9 Haye.
ROUND FOUR:
What's interesting is the corners, which I didn't see on the advert-led UK broadcast (putting ads on PPV broadcasts... they take the fucking piss), and the HBO ragging. SKY TV weren't exactly full of praise for Haye's antics, but fuck me Larry's going at it. Roy, being Roy, makes it about himself.
Most interesting is Manny Steward, who tells Wlad after three that he's not sure which way the fight is going, that Haye may be taking these rounds. After the fourth, he tells Wlad that he allowed Haye to steal it. I disagree, there... even though Haye threw three Gayemakers at the end (none of which appeared to land flush, but all of which made Wlad **** himself) I thought Wlad won this one fairly clearly.
10-9 Wladski
ROUND FIVE:
In fairness, Haye kind of did more in this round than I recalled (Manny Steward gives Wlad **** when he gets back to the corner) but it's now becoming a joke. It's all skittering around, then maybe six attempted shots. And every time he gets close to Wlad, he gets a clinchski or pushed onto the canvas, or Wlad backs away... if this is a chess match, it's a chess match where both players keep moving their pieces out of the way. Neither gets a checkmate, but Wlad gets to say "I moved my chess pieces betterski." Call me a homer, but I kind of think that maybe Haye DID damage his toe, as his offence is so far off... when he does try and throw his Gayemakers at Wlad, most of them are so wide of the target they're further than a Jew's hand from his wallet when it's time to buy a round.
10-9 Wladski
ROUND SIX:
Piss-taking aside though, this is a heckuva lot better from Haye than I'd recalled at this relatively late stage of the fight. I'd remembered him doing reasonably okay for the first third, then letting Wlad take over. But while Wlad's the aggressor here, Haye is the one landing more heavily, with counterpunches that even open a sizeable cut below Wlad's eye. I'd recalled that cut opening earlier, in first three rounds, so it was a surprise to see it happen in the middle rounds.
I scored this a Haye round, making it 4-2 Wlad to this point, but, as I said, the first round was close. So at this stage you could say it was even on the scorecards without too much of a stretch, a lot better than the early blow out some expected.
Just a shame after this point it goes **** up...
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