Anybody here speaks french?I need translation pronto....

[jack_the_rippuh]

I know the word bouclier.
That's all I know.

[Muammar Gaddafi]

I know the word bouclier.
That's all I know.

i appreciate your help

[Mr Gruber]

The ***** wants you to pay for your web cam session.

.......

[Hearnsz]

Morocco is the best place to go if you want to speak french and **** beautiful girls. If you are white though, you will have to pay. No word of a lie. As brothers of the glove I will give you the three best things to say to french birds:

Step 1:Salut, comment tu t'appelle?

Step 2: Tu as belle mais pas aussi belle qui moi
(***** giggles)
Step 3: Pes du ma prende le bazay francais.... sil vous plait? (wink)

RESULT: GOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!

1: Hi, what's your name?
(it should be "comment tu t'appelles")

2. You're pretty but not as pretty as me
(it should be "Tu es belle, mais moi, je suis plus beau que toi. The reason they giggle is most likely because they laugh AT you rather than with you.)

3. blablabla ... please
("pes" and "bazay" aren't even words, unless it's slang I don't know what the **** you mean. And it should be S'il te plaît instead of svp...)