The ten greatest active fighters right now...

Is Dinner Jacket Frog going to feature in this?

Shamelessly ducked by Rockin', of course. He deserves to be I think. But let's crack on with entrant No.6, a brand new entrant as of tonight...

6. Chauncy Welliver
The heavyweight division has seen some tremendous boobs in its time... guys like James Toney, John "D Cup" McDermott and that guy with the medical condition (Gerald Nobles or something? Whatever happened to him, anyway?) have all flown the flag for lactating.

But this 66-fight veteran from New Zealand takes it to a whole new level, with a massive pair of swingers that look like they belong to an 80-year-old granny. He's a ****ing terrible boxer, and the fight I saw him in (against Sherman Williams) was so bad it was like watching a Bernard Hopkins highlight reel. But the chance to see these swingers slap around all over the ring for 12 rounds and see if any milk comes out would get me rushing to the screen every single time:

7. Audley Harrison
I ****ing love Audley. A man who's prepared to talk about how he'll one day be the unified heavyweight champion of the world.... after losing to a mini cab driver.

This delusional fuck knuckle never fails to make me roar with laughter, as a man from a middle class neighbourhood with a business degree goes around pretending to be "street". He's a complete ****ing buffoon, and his entire career of multiple comebacks is based on people wanting to see him lose, because he's a total ****. I love him.