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"Im John Goodman and im gonna tell you about the time I ****ed up everyone on the Jersey Shore. I was at this club where I **** in the sink because it looked like a toilet(the turd was 16 inches long). After I left the restroom I made my way to bar. I drink about 37 beers in an hour. I then see this Mike "The Situation" guy sitting across the bar from me. I walk strait up to him and knock his front teeth out with a tire iron. Once he was down on the ground, I let loose a fart into his ear canal. That's when I seen this snooki ***** looking at me. I sprayed lysol into her eyes and hit her with the tire iron to. About this time everyone is running out of the club. I yell, "Im John Goodman, and Ill rape all of ya!!!!!." Then I leave the club and run into a man from england. I was gonna knock out his teeth with the tire iron, but someone else already beat me to it. I then went to boardwalk where I placed bologna in my armpits and deer urine on my shoes. That's when Nickic Minaj came out from under a bridge and started to lick my shoes. I sprayed her down with lysol and put her in the trunk of my car next to a bag of dog ****. Im back."
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John Goodman
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John Goodman
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