My poem for creative writing class.

[BOLLOCKS]

She probably could fit it into the book. It's on par with a lot of stuff my classmates turned in.

Sounds like a great class.

[Spare Moody]

Thanks.

I used to write a lot when I was younger and then I turned more to songwriting when I started playing guitar.

I liked the poem, but I didn't get much feedback in class. I hd a girl who was my editing partner and all she did was read my stuff and say "wow, thats really good, mine sucks"

Honest feedback appreciated. Good or Bad.

well i know you're well versed in the blues so you should be a natural in tapping into deep ****. i didn't interpret it as suicide or as looking for peace when **** hits the fan.

to me, it was like a hard toiled guy that's been beat up all the time and then he finally dies. normally somebody would think that story would be tragic but then you ended it by showing death as a comforter. that was my take at least. the fact that you're having all these different takes should say that it's pretty good ****.

[BrooklynBomber]

This is a prententious piece of **** writing.

**** me if I ever decide to read another one of these student pieces.

[Mizzou]

It sounds good. Honestly, I hate poetry. Reading and writing it. I like Jack Handey, that's about it.

[Hitman932]

This is a prententious piece of **** writing.

**** me if I ever decide to read another one of these student pieces.

**** me if you're ever not a miserable **** for more than 3 days straight.

[BrooklynBomber]

**** me if you're ever not a miserable **** for more than 3 days straight.

I just decided to be original(fora change) and not suck your dick off for that little writing you put up like most other did.


And besides, all these allusions are really not to my liking, I like more straightforward poetry.

[Hitman932]

And besides, all these allusions are really not to my liking, I like more straightforward poetry.

I know you do, but I don't

I like ee cummings, this is my favorite



[somewhere i have never travelled]


somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

[BrooklynBomber]

I know you do, but I don't

I like ee cummings, this is my favorite



[somewhere i have never travelled]


somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

Thats too much, even for me. I am a much bigger fan of english literature then poetry.

All that imagery is too alien for my tri-lingual brain.

[Hitman932]

Thats too much, even for me. I am a much bigger fan of english literature then poetry.

All that imagery is too alien for my tri-lingual brain.

I have zero attention span.

So reading poetry is in my best interest. Reading books longer than Kurt Vonnegut length is hard on me.

I've written poems I like a lot more and this one (I usually dont make it a point to rhyme) isn't really my style but it is the one my teacher wants to publish and since I don't feel strongly about it i wanted the input of others.

[TRAVI$]

pretty grim but fuckin awesome nonetheless.

Yeah
Good stuff.