You know you're drunk when ...

[Bossy]

So me and my best friend(we are still best friends to this day)were gettin full of liquor so we could go to the club sauced up(we always did this henceforth why I fell asleep in the shower). So we got our fits on and go get a 5th of Crown, and a 5th of Paul Mason so we could sit in the truck and jam our music and bull**** around and be good and sauced for the club(we were gonna hit the Cotton Club that night).

So we park the truck in front our barracks and commence to drinkin and jamin Screw. We went through the 5th of Crown, and started in on the Paul. Next thing I know. I wake up cause I hear fukin birds churpin and ****, and realize we parked in the same damn spot from last night. The fukin truck is dead as a door knob, and this fool is in the drivers seat snorin like a muthafuka. Our fool asses fell asleep in the gotdamn truck, drunk then a b1tch!!!!!!!! So we did what any other drunkards woulda did. Finished off the bottle of Paul, got a jump to get the truck runnin, and went and got some jack in tha crack, with a consolation bottle of Crown to ease our pain of not makin it to the club yet again.

OMG Hahaha! That is just plain awesome

When you bash Biggie like he isn't one of the greatest rappers to ever exist. People barely ****ing listen to hip hop talking **** about Biggie.

I know, right?!

You wake up the next morning to go to the bathroom and your cell phone is at the bottom of the toilet.... Yes, this happened to me today.

Oh dear me, you poor thing

one time i fell into a fire place

Story please.

[Check]

When you use bottles of whiskey as oars for a boat.

[Elie]

one time i fell into a fire place

Story please.

I was drinking whiskey while sitting at my computer which is located right next to the fireplace. When I tried to get up from the computer I stumbled backward Into the fireplace, which luckily wasn't on fire

[Bossy]

When you use bottles of whiskey as oars for a boat.

How did that work out for you?

I was drinking whiskey while sitting at my computer which is located right next to the fireplace. When I tried to get up from the computer I stumbled backward Into the fireplace, which luckily wasn't on fire

Oh ouch! That doesn't sound very fun

[[ DUBBZZ ]]

When you pass out during a lap dance.

My boy was straight snoring on a ho this weekend and the b*tch kept dancing. Lucky for him we found him because she probably woulda jacked his wallet.

[Cardinal Buck]

When you make-out with a horse that has a cop on it while your crotch is soaked with piss. I swear it was my roommate. If I lost it like that, I'd share.

[Check]

How did that work out for you?

Not well at all. Trying to row with anything is difficult with two drunks to begin with. We tried using lilly pads to pull and that worked for a bit but eventually just swam back and saved the boat the next morning. I thought I was going to drown.

[4CornerMessiah]

got done tripping roughly an 8th of shrooms and was headed home to slumber . I had drank basically a 5th of E&J Brandy ALL BY MYSELF so I ended up becoming so barftastic that I threw up on myself on the way home . I basked in that **** for a solid 5 minutes .

When I got out of the car I stripped down to my boxers and threw my clothes in the laundry .

Not gonna drip anytime soon

[Bossy]

When you pass out during a lap dance.

My boy was straight snoring on a ho this weekend and the b*tch kept dancing. Lucky for him we found him because she probably woulda jacked his wallet.

Holy **** Did he have to pay her?

When you make-out with a horse that has a cop on it while your crotch is soaked with piss. I swear it was my roommate. If I lost it like that, I'd share.

Oh dear God

Not well at all. Trying to row with anything is difficult with two drunks to begin with. We tried using lilly pads to pull and that worked for a bit but eventually just swam back and saved the boat the next morning. I thought I was going to drown.

I'm sorry but I LMAO haha

got done tripping roughly an 8th of shrooms and was headed home to slumber . I had drank basically a 5th of E&J Brandy ALL BY MYSELF so I ended up becoming so barftastic that I threw up on myself on the way home . I basked in that **** for a solid 5 minutes .

When I got out of the car I stripped down to my boxers and threw my clothes in the laundry .

Not gonna drip anytime soon

You are savage

[D-MiZe]

When you repeat certain phrases over and over again.