These are some embarassing phone stories I will share with you

[pesticid]

OK, since you guys like the phone stories let me give you another one.

Now mind you, I was very anti cellular until I was 24, I think that's when I got my first cell phone, 6 years ago. Not cool right, anyway back to the story.

I go back to the land of the *******, my homeland Bulgaria.

I go to a resort with a few friends and they are all there with their gfs. So we chill at the beach, I was 22 or 23 at the time and we spot these 3 young thangs wearing thongs only no tops. My buddy says go get them. I look at him how about you go get them? He says my gf is here what do you want me to do? Now back in the day, I was outgoing and better looking for sure but I wasn't great talking to women especially when I was sober but I see one of them in the sea on some kind of an inflatable mattress, some bubbly annoying crap. She is laying on it from the side though so her feet are in the water. I swim all the way to her and she's got her eyes really big thinking what the heck is going on, and then I just land on the mattress beside her and I said smth stupid like I had to lay there cause I was too tired and going to drown. She giggled and then I sprayed her with water. We played the drowning game, meaning I would grab her head and put it under the water for a bit and she would stuggle and ask for help, then I would save her form myself. Women love that stuff and I have no idea why. I guess not all of them but the ones that I have met on the beach front did like it when I was playfully abusive in the water

So me and her eventually go to the shore and meet her other 2 friends, she introduces me and we talk. The beach shore by the way is so crowded. Families, young thangs, old things, butt ugly thangs, sea gulls you name name them! So my buddy is saying - good you talk to them and all but you haven't gotten their numbers. So I go get my bag and I grab a piece of paper and a pen and the whole beach is laughing or so I thought. I tried getting their numbers but I couldn't cause you know it's hard to write on a paper on the sand, the pen goes through the paper. So my buddy came with his phone to the rescue and saved the day

[sigrab]

[pesticid]

So again same age, 22 or 23 and I didn't have a phone. I go to a club in a really nice city, Varna is the name of the city. I get drunk, I had like 3 big beers. Beers in Eastern Europe are 750 and have like 6% at least. We hang out, talking and watching the girls and we see a couple of girls dancing on these little elevated podiums, I think they had in mind strip polls but they a little too long and wide - like a cow can be milked there. So there we have these 2 young thangs dancing and getting the attention of the crowd and I say I'll go dance with them. So I hop on the little podium and get in b/w them dancing, rubbing, grinding. They are excited and so am I. I think it was the fact that I appeared ballsy or smth, I was drunk, anyway whatever the reason. One of the girl says smth that we should exchange numbers. I say I don't have a number. So I ask one of my friend to come over, he comes and I lean and ask him to give me his cell phone so I can get the girl's number. He gives me the cell and I am on the podium in front of everybody but I can't enter the digits cause I don't know how. Eventually he climbs up and gets the number himself cause I was inadequate but we were all drunk and I did not care how I was judged and if at all.

[pesticid]

Now when I got my first phone, I was able to make a call out to one of my friends to tell him I got a phone, yay, yay! So I was able to make a phone call out but I haven't yet been able to receive a call. So the phone starts ringing in the bus and really loud, I couldn't adjust it. I think I still have this phone somewhere in the house. And I trey to pick it up, I flip it open and I can't answer it, it keeps ringing, I don't have no voicemail either so it keeps ringing, I close it and it stops. My buddy is an idiot though and took it personally as if I was hanging up on him on purpose. So he kept ringing and the same thing happened. He called yet again, everybody in the bus is looking at me wondering what the ****. My friend calls me a third time and I am embarrassed to pull out my phone I just let it rang and got off on the next bus stop sweating from embarrassment.

[pesticid]

Now here is the real kicker, in my mid 20ies I used to work for a cell phone company for a couple of years almost and used to give advice to people how to fix their blackberries and other phones. In all honestly I was good at it, cause we had manuals in front of us. I just hated phones. Still do! It's just ironic!

I saw a guy though, young guy at a place in Richmondhill here in Toronto. It's known as a cougar bar with a live band and everything. I'll give you the name of the place too, it's called Bricks. Anyway this guy, young guy 28-30 was dancing with this amazing older chick. Around 40ish but business professional and elegant beyond imagination. They stopped dancing he went to the bar, grabbed a napkin and a pen from the bar tender and she wrote him her number right in front of us. We were like this guy is the MAN. He didn't look like much but I guess he could trigger her emotionally. I am not saying he didn't have phone. I don't believe it. I think he did that just to make a boss move and that he did. Impressed all of us.