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#11
Old 07-12-2012, 04:36 AM
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Originally Posted by -The Glove- View Post
What's wrong with what she did? She wanted to get her daughter away from a cult.
Is this a typo?
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#12
Old 07-12-2012, 04:55 AM
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Originally Posted by jim jeffries View Post
odd how cruise divorced all three of his wives when they were 33 years old.
33 - 33 - 33

3+3 = 6 - 3+3 = 6 - 3+3 = 6

666
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#13
Old 07-12-2012, 05:00 AM
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Holmes embraces conventional lunacy

KATIE Holmes has left the world of Scientology for a more normal type of bull**** by experimenting with Catholicism.

The former flat heel wearer has severed all ties with Scientologists after her clean-shaven husband informed the organisation that she didn’t exist and was merely Xenu disguised as a mediocre actress.

Holmes said: “I was worried that after all those years of Hubbardism or whatever it’s called, believing in things that require evidence straight away might be like a 300-pound woman trying to run the New York marathon.

“I’m starting with the Pope and all his colourful brand of magical bat****tery, then gradually working my way back to normality.

“I’ll hopefully be moving onto being a Methodist by the end of next year as they’re just slightly mental and a bit mean-spirited rather than tits-out crazy.”

Holmes hopes to have finally reached the stage where she stops believing in fairy stories at the same stage as her daughter Suri and has also started to de-bull****-ise other aspects of her life.

She is currently working with a dietician on what constitutes a healthy weight, how eating less calories than you consume is the only actual way of losing weight in first place and why a dietician actually needs to study for their qualification rather than printing off the internet like a nutritionist.

Helpers are also working to remove the healing crystals from her home, moving the furniture to what looks good rather than what is ‘proper Feng Shui’ and are patiently explaining that acting is just well-paid dressing up rather than the hardest job in the world.

Holmes added: “Somebody suggested I try homeopathy but while I may be Tom Cruise’s ex and an actor, I’m not a complete ****ing idiot.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/c...-2012071234052
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#14
Old 07-12-2012, 07:50 AM
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Originally Posted by squealpiggy View Post
Holmes embraces conventional lunacy

KATIE Holmes has left the world of Scientology for a more normal type of bull**** by experimenting with Catholicism.

The former flat heel wearer has severed all ties with Scientologists after her clean-shaven husband informed the organisation that she didn’t exist and was merely Xenu disguised as a mediocre actress.

Holmes said: “I was worried that after all those years of Hubbardism or whatever it’s called, believing in things that require evidence straight away might be like a 300-pound woman trying to run the New York marathon.

“I’m starting with the Pope and all his colourful brand of magical bat****tery, then gradually working my way back to normality.

“I’ll hopefully be moving onto being a Methodist by the end of next year as they’re just slightly mental and a bit mean-spirited rather than tits-out crazy.”

Holmes hopes to have finally reached the stage where she stops believing in fairy stories at the same stage as her daughter Suri and has also started to de-bull****-ise other aspects of her life.

She is currently working with a dietician on what constitutes a healthy weight, how eating less calories than you consume is the only actual way of losing weight in first place and why a dietician actually needs to study for their qualification rather than printing off the internet like a nutritionist.

Helpers are also working to remove the healing crystals from her home, moving the furniture to what looks good rather than what is ‘proper Feng Shui’ and are patiently explaining that acting is just well-paid dressing up rather than the hardest job in the world.

Holmes added: “Somebody suggested I try homeopathy but while I may be Tom Cruise’s ex and an actor, I’m not a complete ****ing idiot.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/c...-2012071234052
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#15
Old 07-12-2012, 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by timbatron View Post
33 - 33 - 33

3+3 = 6 - 3+3 = 6 - 3+3 = 6

666
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#16
Old 07-12-2012, 12:32 PM
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So, her daddy is a lawyer & a christian?? That's 1 weird combo!!

Edit: Catholic, never mind.
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#17
Old 07-12-2012, 01:30 PM
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Well I learned something new today. Tom Cruise is 50 freaking years old. What the hell? He looks like he's in his 30s.
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#18
Old 07-12-2012, 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by -Kev- View Post
Well I learned something new today. Tom Cruise is 50 freaking years old. What the hell? He looks like he's in his 30s.
LOL Right, I had to Google it like 3 different times to see if that wasnt a typo or something.
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#19
Old 07-12-2012, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by -Kev- View Post
Well I learned something new today. Tom Cruise is 50 freaking years old. What the hell? He looks like he's in his 30s.
Thats what money will do for you,to put it in perspective Risky Business came out when i was 3 i am 30 now.
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#20
Old 07-13-2012, 12:15 AM
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Odd how Cruise divorced all three of his wives when they were 33 years old.
and on the 3rd year he re-marries again...
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