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The new licking gradings for all you limey noobs

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  • The new licking gradings for all you limey noobs

    If you fellas weren't around the first time then here is how your skills with the tongue were graded. There are five categories and each of you will be ranked accordingly. I shall start by explaining the lowest category of licker:

    The Arse Licker
    You have brought shame on you and your family. You repeatedly lick the arse...and you bring no pleasure to the anus your tongue is inserted into. You have no skills and your tongue fumbles around the puckered arsehole blindly. Repent forthwith, then renew your licking efforts and you may progress, but be warned, 99 percent of arse lickers remain an arse licker for the rest of their life.

    The Tit Licker
    You are merely a youth just beginning to set out upon your licking escapades. You may have nibbled a nipple and had a wee sucky sucky on the odd breasticle here and there, but your skills are lacking son. You have never ventured down below into the nether regions of juicy lust to test your licking skills on a vagina (or **** for that matter) and thus you have not yet developed the licking skills that you will need to survive in this cruel world. However, work hard and you will progress. You are still young and have the world at your tongue.

    The Finger Licker
    In the army of Lickers you are a foot soldier. A brute who may lack subtlety but you get the job done somehow. You have mastered tit licking but are far from the all around licker, as although you have attempted to lick the **** you are not efficient at it...thus your licking efforts these days are confined to licking your fingers after you have digitally pleasured a lady (or man). Do not despair though, you are the mainstay of the licking community and without you there would be nothing.

    The **** Licker
    Your tongue is highly talented and brings enormous pleasure to whomever you choose to lick. You have licked many a clit in your time and can bring a lady to orgasm within 3.3 seconds flat. You are admired and highly thought of among your fellow lickers...however, your taste for the **** far outweighs your hunger for the fanny. This means you shall eternally be branded a **** licker, even though you may munch on a minge now and again. You are officially a **** gay licker...but you still may rejoice in your status, for although a mans David Seaman is no match for the ladies love juices, the **** is good too.

    The **** Licker
    You are at the pinnacle. Your tongue is revered and your fellow man looks up to you as a god among the licking fraternity. Be grateful for the power and high esteem your skills have brought you. Ladies shiver and spread their legs a little as soon as they see you and men would love to have your lips around their bulbous head...but you my son are a **** licker and only the best vaginas will do for you. No hairy man meat will pass by your lips. When your friends greet you in the street they shout “**** LICKER, I SALUTE THEE!”
    Last edited by TheHoff'sGhost; 02-04-2008, 02:33 PM.

  • #2
    So fellas, it's judgement time. Here's where you all stand:

    The list of arse lickers is as follows: Msagrain, Col Blake, Div 'ead, manutd6899, p4pking_2007, fasman, D_Hook, Fumin 88, Exige and Peroxide.

    The list of tit lickers is as follows: Hurricane, Naps, DaveBrown, Mozza, Duffgun.

    The list of Finger lickers is as follows: Porlie, Ooavu, Bobby Pazuzu, Duran is God, Addition, The Monk, The Wire.

    The list of **** lickers is as follows: Southpaw Stinger, Oasis Lad, MickeyB, Naz Fan, Micky Hatton, Anorak, Kaygay ( who is an honorary limey bum boy if ever there was one), azza, Jimmy the Gent/Duggie Finger a fanny Finnus, Mik.

    The list of **** lickers is as follows: Shanus and Tuggers.
    Last edited by TheHoff'sGhost; 02-06-2008, 05:06 PM.

    Comment


    • #4
      I feel honoured.

      Comment


      • #5
        I lick teh ****

        Comment


        • #6
          Originally posted by Addition View Post
          I feel honoured.
          You're a good lad so you are. If I can be bothered I'll give you all gifts to commemorate your status.


          The big movers since the last gradings are Tuggers, who has reached the lofty status of **** Licker, MickeyB, who came straight in at **** licker status and DaveBrown who craftily moved out of arse licker status and up to the tit licker rank.

          There are some fellas who will no doubt progress beyond their current level, but I shall not name them all as they are many.


          P.S

          Shame on you arse lickers, you bunch of unskilled tongue tarts.

          Comment


          • #7
            msagrain... come on Hoff. He deserves a higher status than that. He a pwntender.

            And how am I lower than that queer Tuggers. He is a japs eye of the highest order!

            Comment


            • #8
              While there was initial disapointment at only reaching the third tier of lickers I have come to realise I am the David Batty of lickers, without my kind there is only one result...certain defeat. However, like Batty I am lacking in natural talent and have found my level. Finger licker fo lyf!

              Comment


              • #9
                Originally posted by The Monk View Post
                While there was initial disapointment at only reaching the third tier of lickers I have come to realise I am the David Batty of lickers, without my kind there is only one result...certain defeat. However, like Batty I am lacking in natural talent and have found my level. Finger licker fo lyf!
                Aye, every team needs a batty boy, of that there is no doubt.

                You were one of the lads who I ummed and ahhhed about. I couldn't decide whether you were a finger licker or a **** licker. Still, when the ratings are next upgraded I expect you'll have refined your skills through sheer hard graft and have pulled yourself up the licking ladder.

                Comment


                • #10
                  Originally posted by mickeyb View Post
                  msagrain... come on Hoff. He deserves a higher status than that. He a pwntender.

                  And how am I lower than that queer Tuggers. He is a japs eye of the highest order!
                  Super Tuggers has established himself among the elite. Those of us like you and me can only dream of having as skilled a tongue as he.


                  Msagrain is and will always be a ****ing arse licker. I know you like him but that's just the way it is Mickey.

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