Need advice lounge. My brother is the biggest loser I've ever seen.

[the mesiah]

Cut that umbilical cord homie,it would be different if he was like 17-21, but he already 28.he does all this cuz he got a support system that let's Him get away with all this.hook him up with a fat chick that has low self esteem when u "hit the dating scene" hard and tell him to juice the chick to buy him **** and give him money.fat broads seem to dig dudes who are losers and treat them bad AND still give them paper.

[phook]

I just don't know what to do about this fool anymore. He's going to be 28 years old and all he does is smoke weed and play XBOX. He's completely ruining my parents lives and is a serious strain on everyone in our family. Anyone else have a family member like this?

He's just the textbook definition of a **** up. I let him get an apartment with me after my fiance and I split over the summer, so he could move out of my parents house (!) and I could kinda take him off their hands for a while. He has a job that I got him, but they don't give him more than 10 days of work a month so he's always broke. He has no motivation to accomplish anything in life.

The thing is, he should! He's really intelligent and not bad looking. He's just so smug and thinks he's so much better than everyone that he needs to prove nothing. Case in point: I'm hitting the dating scene really hard and bring girls back to our place a lot. He has a girlfriend that he's referred to as "fat, stupid, obnoxious personality, hates talking to" ect. She filthy and gross. They've been dating like 2 years, but I've only seen her twice because he's obviously ashamed to bring her around. He always talks of breaking up with her, but he's too much of a coward to.

I try to tell him that he's not bad looking, but you cant attract a woman by wearing old dirty clothes that are way too big and playing video games. But he won't confront any problems. He just makes up all these stories about "hot *****es" he ****ed, when in reality she's probably the first girl he'd ****ed in 3-4 years. When it comes to admitting shortcomings he always lays the blame on my parents. We had plenty of eat, nice clothes, and love and support of two parents who worked hard. That's better than 99% of the children in this world.

His life is completely passing him by. It's ruining my parents lives. They're immigrants and don't have a lot of education, but work really hard and don't know what to do about their eldest son. Everytime my mom, dad, sister, and I get together with one another, he is the main subject of discussion. We don't know what to do, because honestly if he wasn't living with one of us he would probably become a homeless person. My mother told me one day that if she didn't love him so much, she'd have the courage to tell him that she's been all over the world and in 58 years she'd never seen as big a loser as him in her entire life.

I am moving to Chicago or Minneapolis in November, and I'm trying to force some sort of solution on him. I hate to leave him back on my parents shoulders, who say they cannot support him at all financially anymore, but I have a college degree and have to go further my career and get my masters. Just this month he borrowed his half of the rent from my mother, and told her it was money we "both" needed for expenses. He has no shame and accepts none of his faults.

Anyone have any thoughts, stories, or suggestions? I hate to think that he will always be this way, but he doesn't have much time left and hasn't shown any signs he wants to turn his life around.

It's the weed man

[PEBBLES!]

It seems like your parents don't have the heart to tell your brother to man-up, find a steady job/income and rent a place on his own.

Feeding this leech money is not doing anyone favours - it's a strain on you, as a college student, and a massive strain on your aging immigrant parents who probably led a tough life in raising their children in a foreign country.

FWIW, I think it's up-to you as his brother, to give him an ultimatum, set a deadline for him to find a place on his own and a regular job, and basically tell him you can't live with me forever.

Chronic weed smokers are usually loafers and lazy; its not going to be easy, but good luck with your family issues and your studying, Paul.

[MonsieurGeorges]

When this happens to people who aren't addicted to drugs it's shocking to me. You should follow him one day and see if he's doing drugs

[La Zorrita]

is your brother named g-dogs?

[Cuauhtémoc1520]

No!

We are all the products of our environment. Having a choice in life doesn't negate that fact that we are influenced, by everything around us. Our language, customs, religion etc. It's all influenced, by our environment.There's nothing unique about us man. Everything you know, and think is derived from your environment, or someone before you. Some of us are smart enough to remove our mentality from the one being emphasized in our environment, yet a lot of us simply go with the flow. Of course not everyone is going to act accordingly to what our environment expects, nevertheless to deny that Pacquiao isn't better the Floyd is ******ed man.

Well you just answered it right there. It's called evolution, survival of the fittest. Hopefully all the stupid people will die off. Excuses, excuses.......man the fuk up and take responsibility for yourself.

You may not like the choices you have but you always have a choice.

[Doorag]

Is he fat too?

[BigStereotype]

Diogenes Syndrome at 28.

Seems like he's always had someone to fall back on all his life. You need to find some way to convince your parents not to take pity on him, whilst you move on with your own life.

Once all his support networks are gone, he'll have no choice – either he uses his brain and pulls himself out of the gutter or works at McDonalds.

Firm but fair.

Since when is being a bum a syndrome? Sorry to say it, but your brother is a bum. That's it. And you shouldn't let him hold you up. What's more important to you - paying his rent so he can sit on your couch and smoke weed or getting your masters? It sounds cold, but he's got to go. And tell your parents not to support him if they can't. He's family, but they're his family, too. There's a difference between leaning on a family for support and being a parasite. He's got to get somewhere on his own now.

[Taaj Manzoor]

See "stepbrothers"

[BG_Knocc_Out]

This is EXACTLY like my brother, every detail you mentioned (except the immigrant part) is identical to mine. Him being 28 years old, smoke pot and play Xbox, smug, hopeless, works a ****ty job, etc. is all spot on with mine.