So I Wrote My Girl An Erotic Letter

[paulf]

She'd strongly hinted in her most recent letter that she wouldn't mind getting one, but be careful what you wish for. I wrote this smoking hot letter in Notepad in class this morning, and hope to God the girls who sit behind me could see what I was writing.

So... enjoy.

"What was that you little ******?" -------- asked me, still shocked I had smacked her in her beaner face.

"I don't tolerate women talking out of turn, you boyish slut." I replied.

I was trying to provoke her, of course. -------- had been released jail a few days earlier, but since then all she'd done was eat Flaming Hot Cheetos and cry hysterically. Watching her cry kinda gave me a half-chub, but when was I going to get a lick of that sweet clit slit already?? Hopefully, I'd make her angry to the point of having no choice but to rub that calamari ****ring all up on my wang doodle doo.

She grabbed a coffee mug and threw it at me, hitting me in the head. I was dazed, and she came at me with a mashed-potato ladle, but luckily I slammed her into a family of porcupines that I kept there just in case. Suddenly I felt a tingling and looked down; she'd cut off all the toes on my right foot! God I love this woman.

I jumped on her and held her down, and we looked deep into each others eyes. The way I was holding her, I could also kinda feel one of her boobs. Too small. "Are you going to face rape me or what?" She asked, rolling her eyes. "Bored huh? I'll give you something to pass the time"

I pulled out my Groin Ferret and rubbed it slowly against her Lobster Pot. "Papi! Ay caramba!" she screamed, and I told her to sit still because I had a sexy surprise for her. "FOUR!" I shouted, and smacked her in the face with my rock hard ****. Unamused, she punched me in the dick and ran towards the bedroom. The game was afoot.

I stepped into the bedroom and took note of my preparations: exotic oils, special usage lotions, crevice jellies, and a Sade cassette tape! I was about to give the ***** a magical carpet ride all the way down to pound town... ON MY DICK, no less!

I climbed into bed with her and shouted "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!" and without a word she began swallowing my hog like this was Babe: Pig in the City!!! I reached around and shoved my whole fist inside her bajingo, causing
her to giggle and say "You're silly! No ones done that to me since 5th grade!"

I shoved her forward, causing her to bend over, and pushed her granny panties over to the side. "Are you ready for some football?" I said, and shoved my Dick Dagger deep into her Fish Flaps. She cried out like an old gypsy woman as I smacked her thanksgiving hams with my powerful hands until they were red.

I was beginning to lose consciousness because my foot was still bleeding, but I wanted to feel her Goop Chute cum all over my Troll Doll before I received my eternal reward. I grabbed her arm and wrapped it around her neck to choke her with, but I pulled too hard and broke the damn thing in half! "PAUL!" she shouted "I need that arm to write my poems!" I laughed like Skeletor, and began to rail that ass with all the anger of an old man who can't find his way home anymore.

"OH! NO! IM! COMING! DONT STOP!" She shouted, and shot her Taco juices all over my god damn bed sheets. I pulled her over to the non-ruined side of the bed, and she squeezed tightly against me. "Paul, You are my #1 bad boy, too bad things had to end this way" and shoved a syringe into my neck.

Woke up a week later in a Thai prison. Fuckin set up.

[Run]

Very good. (Clap)






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[-MEGA-]

Hahaha. Bravo.

[Spray_resistant]

I strongly approve and am a bit aroused just imagining the whole scene, good stuff.

[paulf]

I strongly approve and am a bit aroused just imagining the whole scene, good stuff.

Haven't seen you in a while, man.

Good to see I can still get you excited. *wink*