Funniest/Dumbest break up stories

[Hi-Dro]

Well I was with her for about 3 months. She cheated on me then I found out about it and confronted her and she broke up with me. I had that I don't care attitude about it and she got pissed off and decided to spread rumors about me. Two of them being I was gay and had a poop fetish.

To this day she still hates me. Tsk tsk.

[ghns1133]

my girl nroke up with me without even telling me. after a few day of not knowing why she was being so cold one of my friends told me. Wtf?

[J-Smooth]

my girl nroke up with me without even telling me. after a few day of not knowing why she was being so cold one of my friends told me. Wtf?

[ghns1133]

spellin iz ghey

[paulf]

Copied from my old Myspace Blog
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So yesterday was ------'s birthday. We've been broken up, but I felt bad because she doesn't have anyone here. No family, no real friends. She texted and asked if I wanted to come over, so I got off work early bought her a birthday cake. I get over there, let myself in with the key under the mat, and she's not home.

After a while i get bored, and notice how ****ing trashed her place is. So I decide to clean it, as a birthday present. That's how nice I am, cleaning my exgirlfriends apartment up. So I clean the kitchen, bathroom, livingroom, ect. Cleaned up the weed residue on everything. Even clean the walls. It's been three hours since I got there. I'm just listening to biggie and hanging out with her dog while I clean.

Finally I see her pull up. Light the cake, get her dog into the front room, and she comes in. She's kinda drunk and insanely happy to see me. We chill out, eat cake, and talk about old times for about an hour. Then we went to bed, and it looks like it had turned into a nice evening together.

Then she starts talking ****. Like she always does when shes drunk. Calling me out on all the bad things I do to her; she starts to scream. Not just any scream. Furious black chick screaming. I don't know if any of you have gone through it personally, but watching it in the movies does it no justice. The woman standing right in your face screaming like that can really make you disoriented. She's screaming about me ****ing other girls while we were together, which is untrue, and i'm laughing as I collect my things so I can leave. Grabbing DVDs and ****, cause I know I never want to come back. She's saying I treat her like ****, after all I did for her today, and it finally set me off. So I go into the kitchen to get my jacket...

She walks over to the door in her lingerie and screams "GET OUT! GET THE **** OUT! TOU TREAT ME LIKE ****. ****." As she screamed "****," I came around the corner with her birthday cake and said "Here's your ****in' cake!" and smashed it directly into her face (two handed!) She fell back onto her wal-mart coffee table, breaking it, and damn near crushed her little dog that was hiding under it. He runs out the front door into the night. She looks up at me, cake-covered and just starts crying, repreating "I am so so sorry" (HAHA). I just looked down at her and said "You'e ****ing nuts" and left.

She blew up my phone the whole night, but I just went to sleep. This morning I get a text: "I'm so sorry. I will forever love you, no matter what you throw at me"

I cannot stop ****ing laughing. I'll be telling this story the rest of my life.

[Run]

I fornicated with a girl, then ran to my ride and outed...........60 miles from location. Gone like the wind and never seen again.

It's bad enough I look over my shoulder every time I take a leak.



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[Chief2ndzOnly!]

I fornicated with a girl, then ran to my ride and outed...........60 miles from location. Gone like the wind and never seen again.

It's bad enough I look over my shoulder every time I take a leak.

Why R-Dub? You live close to Meat or somethin?