I forgot to mention: More body armour. Nor for any other reason than to make more money for the sponsors.
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Midnight's "How to be successful in America" : Soccer/Football Edition
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have time outs, be able to make the same play 4 times, make the best and most entertaining part of the game the commercials that air in between. A corner kick goal will be worth 17 points, a free kick 12, a penalty 24. Instead of a coin toss, we can determine the preference with an all out royal rumble with the team cheer-leaders, using KY Jelly and a rubber-pool
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One of the absurd things about American football is the massive celebrations that some players make after getting seven yards further down the field. "Woo! SEVEN YARDS BABY! WOO! It's worth NO POINTS but WOO BABY!"
It's like a footballer taking a throw-in then it goes out for a corner and the player then strutting round for half a minute giving high fives and flexing.
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Originally posted by squealpiggy View PostOne of the absurd things about American football is the massive celebrations that some players make after getting seven yards further down the field. "Woo! SEVEN YARDS BABY! WOO! It's worth NO POINTS but WOO BABY!"
It's like a footballer taking a throw-in then it goes out for a corner and the player then strutting round for half a minute giving high fives and flexing.
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Originally posted by squealpiggy View PostOne of the absurd things about American football is the massive celebrations that some players make after getting seven yards further down the field. "Woo! SEVEN YARDS BABY! WOO! It's worth NO POINTS but WOO BABY!"
It's like a footballer taking a throw-in then it goes out for a corner and the player then strutting round for half a minute giving high fives and flexing.
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Originally posted by squealpiggy View PostHow it would really be adapted for the North American market:
1. Split the game into quarters. Hey, more advertising revenue!
2. Get rid of all of those cups and have a playoff at the end of the season! Make it so that three quarters of the participating teams get through to the playoffs so that the bulk of the season is completely meaningless. Crown the playoff winner the world champion, even if only one country is allowed to participate. They will be considered the world's greatest franchise!
3. Get rid of clubs and call them "franchises" so as not to cheapen the sport.
4a. Beer and food prices are a bit expensive at the moment and this needs to change. By making them OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive! To prevent people from... uh... drinking too much. Yeah.
4b. Have someone walking around bringing beer and food TO YOUR SEAT!
5. Install huge screens in all stadiums. People need to be advertised to, people need to see replays and people need to be told what to cheer and when. Go sports go!
6. It is hugely important to sing the national anthem before every game for some reason. Make sure that the person who is singing it has more confidence than talent and tell them that the tune is more of a guideline than an actual rule.
7. Stop the clock when the play stops. Commercial breaks!
8. Video replays = commercial breaks!
9. Get rid of shirt sponsors. Ugly sponsor logos on shirts are an eyesore (unless the sponsors are Nike or Adidas or Reebok or something obviously). It's important not to ruin franchises by overcommercialising them with sponsors logos.
This rundown was brought to you by Budweiser. Budweiser: It's REAAAL watery!
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Originally posted by squealpiggy View PostOne of the absurd things about American football is the massive celebrations that some players make after getting seven yards further down the field. "Woo! SEVEN YARDS BABY! WOO! It's worth NO POINTS but WOO BABY!"
It's like a footballer taking a throw-in then it goes out for a corner and the player then strutting round for half a minute giving high fives and flexing.
you line up and run for 7 yards against 11 guys 250 lbs+ each trying to take your head off.
you would celebrate too
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Originally posted by squealpiggy View PostHow it would really be adapted for the North American market:
1. Split the game into quarters. Hey, more advertising revenue!
2. Get rid of all of those cups and have a playoff at the end of the season! Make it so that three quarters of the participating teams get through to the playoffs so that the bulk of the season is completely meaningless. Crown the playoff winner the world champion, even if only one country is allowed to participate. They will be considered the world's greatest franchise!
3. Get rid of clubs and call them "franchises" so as not to cheapen the sport.
4a. Beer and food prices are a bit expensive at the moment and this needs to change. By making them OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive! To prevent people from... uh... drinking too much. Yeah.
4b. Have someone walking around bringing beer and food TO YOUR SEAT!
5. Install huge screens in all stadiums. People need to be advertised to, people need to see replays and people need to be told what to cheer and when. Go sports go!
6. It is hugely important to sing the national anthem before every game for some reason. Make sure that the person who is singing it has more confidence than talent and tell them that the tune is more of a guideline than an actual rule.
7. Stop the clock when the play stops. Commercial breaks!
8. Video replays = commercial breaks!
9. Get rid of shirt sponsors. Ugly sponsor logos on shirts are an eyesore (unless the sponsors are Nike or Adidas or Reebok or something obviously). It's important not to ruin franchises by overcommercialising them with sponsors logos.
This rundown was brought to you by Budweiser. Budweiser: It's REAAAL watery!
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Originally posted by MidnightSpecial View PostAmerican Football is a game of inches.
you line up and run for 7 yards against 11 guys 250 lbs+ each trying to take your head off.
you would celebrate too
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Originally posted by MidnightSpecial View PostAmerican Football is a game of inches.
you line up and run for 7 yards against 11 guys 250 lbs+ each trying to take your head off.
you would celebrate too
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