Police Arrest Seattle Superhero 'Phoenix Jones'

[Canelo Phresh]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/i...-201110124411/

But I was wearing tights, says violent criminal

US vigilante Phoenix Jones has had his costume-based appeal for leniency rejected.

The Seattle-born superhero was arrested for beating up several members of the public while playing extremely cool dance-rock crossover music from a set of speakers he had installed nearby.

Witnesses also reported hearing him shout what appeared to be a series of carefully-rehearsed one-liners as he committed his multiple assaults.

Local police chief, Roy Hobbs, said: "The fact he's managed to assemble a spangly costume and cape doesn't make him above the law, as was illustrated in the 70s following the arrest of countless Funkateers.
"Bootsy Collins may be 'the man who put bass in your face', but that doesn't make him a super-hero crime-fighter."

Seattle police have urged locals that if they witness a crime, telephoning a vast network of trained investigators and enforcement officers is the best way of ensuring it is dealt with, rather than relying on Jones' method of hero-summons, which involves setting off some fireworks while banging two bin lids together.

Jones first came to police attention after his intervention in a dispute over licensing hours between two restaurants caused him to be hospitalised when he slipped two discs trying to hurl a pizzeria into the sun.

It is unknown what prompted the spate of one-man justice but neighbours near the bedsit where Jones lives during the day with pet terrier Captain Lone Wolf, said the combination of divorce and redundancy may have something to do with it.

Hobbs added: "This is why I won't sit through Batman films. It's all very well blowing up half a building to save some bird you're trying to hump, but I end up doing all the ****ing paperwork."

theres a black guy that wears disco clothes and a cape on sahara and ft apache in vegas. he just dances on the street corner and encourages charity. hes actually rich but hes funny this guys just dumb.

[GOAT86]

He was prolly searching for real-life she-hulk...

[triggerhapppy]

Trigger is the Phoenix Jones of boxingscene. He'd probably team up with the guy if he lived in Seattle.

Hell no, I hate that guy. No one should take the law in their own hands, this is why we have police. I called Phoenix Jones out already but he never responded.

[triggerhapppy]

Phoenix jones has No skills at all.

[PEBBLES!]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mate txted me like 5 times about this last night.

"Cuzzii can't stop laughin there's a vid of him goin around in a funny suit and cape sprayin ppl and hes dead serious he thinks theyr villains and sum woman tries hittin him with a bag and falls over LOLLL the court goes you can't go around pepper spraying people just because you are dressed as a superhero"

[triggerhapppy]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mate txted me like 5 times about this last night.

"Cuzzii can't stop laughin there's a vid of him goin around in a funny suit and cape sprayin ppl and hes dead serious he thinks theyr villains and sum woman tries hittin him with a bag and falls over LOLLL the court goes you can't go around pepper spraying people just because you are dressed as a superhero"

Lol, green k sent.

[ИATAS]

hell yeah that's my boy he's part of my click. I'm in the front. don't mess with us

[Xyei]

He's the hero Seatle deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, they'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight.

[BostonGuy]

I wonder if Phoenix has got a cool nemesis. Also the police shouldn't be arresting this guy they should be praising him; they should have some kind of flood light or signal to call Phoenix when they need help....

As to the poster who said, "he'll get a knife poked in his back": not gonna happen, his suit is probably teflon plated and impervious to bullets and blades...

[PACnPBFsuck]

Getting his ass kicked and chased around by a girl does not look good ...

Phoenix Jones Stops Assault from Ryan McNamee on Vimeo.

The most epic video ever, the only thing that was missing was a crackhead. Did that b!tch yell RAPE? LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL