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#21
Old 12-03-2012, 11:02 AM
▀ringer
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Default



Post away. Anybody who would claim to be offended by some intentionally morbid jokes is most likely an uptight f*ckface in the first place.

Here's two quickies if you're the type who likes their jokes short and sweet.

A man walks into a bar....Two weeks later he dies alone in his apartment of AIDS.

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind boy get for Christmas?

Cancer.
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#22
Old 12-03-2012, 11:05 AM
UTEP
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Whats the difference between an Irish bar and an Irish funeral?






















One less drunk!
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#23
Old 12-03-2012, 11:10 AM
▀ringer
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What's black and blue and hates sex?

The 8 year old in my closet.
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#24
Old 12-03-2012, 11:12 AM
-Johannes-
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A tough guy walks into a crowded bar with a crocodile on a leash, making a loud entrance he screams:

Any of you weak punks brave enough to do this?

He wips out his dick,opens de crocs mouth, puts it inside and smacks the crocs head with a basball bat as hard as he could. The croc slams its mouth shut crushing the man's genitalia. Everyone is in disbelief when the man proceeds to force the croc to open its mouth to reveal his unscathed manhood.
He looks around and says:

Well you buch of spineless pussies? Ready to try?

The bar is silent until a guy hesitantly raises his hand and says:

I'll try sir... just don't smack me so hard
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#25
Old 12-03-2012, 11:13 AM
▀ringer
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please rate my avy bro - MANIAC310 Thanks brother - Strictly_UG I'm just a 35 year old hanging out here for some laughs and I must say I've never laughed so hard at those the basically roast you did especially MEAT's much respect on your EXECUTION skills - jose830 You the man. - Fistic Cheers man,hot dog and a beer on me - Scott.Weiland 
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How are a tornado and a marriage alike?

They both start with a lot of blowing and in the end you lose your house.
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#26
Old 12-03-2012, 11:18 AM
UTEP
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el norte beautiful film no doubt - Tha_Greatest No Message - Sake1 :rofl: :rofl: that was funny...salud! - jose830 No Message - chiguy91 GIF Thread: Distinguished Service Medal - Barnburner 
i watched the Bradley/Marquez video on my lunch, thanks for sharing - jose830 :lol1:@homie g funk... I'm in PR right now so I'll send you a tropical fish - jose830 No Message - Sake1 I'm digging this neon sign gifs - -jose- it's all good homie - -jose- 
thanks for the popcorn...hereI left you some - -jose- Thank you.  Toma una fria!  Cheers bro. - damit305 BANG BANG - sugarsmosley to a true atg poster - jas <3 - Beercules 
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Default

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road?

The dead dog has skid mark's leading to it.


What time do Chinese people make their dentist's appointments?

tooth hurty.


How did the Mexican girl get pregnant after doing a homework assignment?

the teacher told her to do an essay.
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#27
Old 12-03-2012, 11:24 AM
▀ringer
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please rate my avy bro - MANIAC310 Thanks brother - Strictly_UG I'm just a 35 year old hanging out here for some laughs and I must say I've never laughed so hard at those the basically roast you did especially MEAT's much respect on your EXECUTION skills - jose830 You the man. - Fistic Cheers man,hot dog and a beer on me - Scott.Weiland 
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by -Johannes- View Post
A tough guy walks into a crowded bar with a crocodile on a leash, making a loud entrance he screams:

Any of you weak punks brave enough to do this?

He wips out his dick,opens de crocs mouth, puts it inside and smacks the crocs head with a basball bat as hard as he could. The croc slams its mouth shut crushing the man's genitalia. Everyone is in disbelief when the man proceeds to force the croc to open its mouth to reveal his unscathed manhood.
He looks around and says:

Well you buch of spineless pussies? Ready to try?

The bar is silent until a guy hesitantly raises his hand and says:

I'll try sir... just don't smack me so hard
Kinda reminds me of another bar related crocodile joke.

A guy walks into a bar with his buddies and sees a sign that says "Complete the challenge and get free beer for life". Curious, he asks the bartender what the challenge is.

"Simple" the bartender says : "Take 5 shots of hard liquor one after another, then go outside and pull out the tooth of our live crocodile, then go upstairs to the private room and give an orgasm to the girl in there who's never had one."

The man walks off to think about it, and begins drinking with his buddies. 30 minutes later he returns drunk as a skunk and says "Bring on the challenge!"

He quickly downs the 5 shots of hard liquor and rushes outside to find the crocodile. People inside the bar stand in shock as they listen to the sound of the man screaming while wrestling with the crocodile outside.

4 and a half minutes later he walks back through the door and shouts : "Now where's that b*tch that needs a tooth pulled?"
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#28
Old 12-03-2012, 11:26 AM
▀ringer
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man of steel! - TBear thumbs up - TBear The_Bringer - TBear mas - TBear mas - TBear 
The_Man - TBear superman'd - TBear No Message - Fresno I so wnted to send you karma for a post you made, that I just read. I can't though, so this is the next best thing :lol1: - Bossy i see you are mad at me, lol, be calm, be cool, i am not your enemy, lol, your a guy who thinks too much, lol, take care my good pal - Tha_Greatest 
please rate my avy bro - MANIAC310 Thanks brother - Strictly_UG I'm just a 35 year old hanging out here for some laughs and I must say I've never laughed so hard at those the basically roast you did especially MEAT's much respect on your EXECUTION skills - jose830 You the man. - Fistic Cheers man,hot dog and a beer on me - Scott.Weiland 
Head and Neck Cancer - mangler Childhood Cancer - mangler AIDS/HIV - DARE - DUI Awareness - Epidermolysis Bullosa - Heart Disease - Lymphoma - MADD - Substance Abuse - mangler Arthritis - Child Abuse - Colon Cancer - Colorectal Cancer - Dystonia - Education - Free Speech - Interstitial Cystitis - ME/CFIDS - Reye's Syndrome - Save the Music - Teens Against Smoking - Victim's Rights - Water Quality - mangler Graves Disease - Lymphedema - Men's Health - Pro Choice - Prostate Cancer - Scleroderma - Thyroid Disease - Trisomy 18 - street bully 
Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS) - street bully Adoptee - Bone Cancer - Child Exploitation and Abuse - Hope and Support - Peace - Retinoblastoma - Right to Life - Student Sexual Assault - street bully Arthritis - Child Abuse - Colon Cancer - Colorectal Cancer - Dystonia - Education - Free Speech - Interstitial Cystitis - ME/CFIDS - Reye's Syndrome - Save the Music - Teens Against Smoking - Victim's Rights - Water Quality - street bully World Trade Center Victims and Heroes - Fireworks Safety - Jim Jeffries Childhood Cancer - Grand Champ 
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What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and vagina?

Only 25% of what comes out of her vagina is retarded.
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Old 12-03-2012, 11:27 AM
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where my billion.....
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Old 12-03-2012, 11:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Bringer View Post
What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and vagina?

Only 25% of what comes out of her vagina is retarded.
hahahahaha!
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