[HOLY S**T!] I found that cheating wh*re out haha!

[Grand Champ]

You move on. I think login on and reading other peoples facebook and stuff is illegal. All in all just be happy with the fact that you got one less trash whore to worry about in your life.

[npad69]

the same thing also happened to me before with an ex i thought i was having a serious relationship with. i didn't seek revenge or anything, i didn't even bother confronting her.. i just stopped being faithful to her anymore and started playing around with other women. when she eventually found out about it, i just drew out that 'ace' card on her and that was the end of it. won't be calling that revenge exactly but 'guided karma' lolz
why be miserable and feel sorry for yourself if you can use your situation to your advantage

[!! Shawn]

Originally Posted by The_Bringer

I don't blame you for being set on confrontation. Confrontation is a necessity for both parties when bridges like these are burned, for the sake of "closure" (though that doesn't actually exist) if nothing else.

How do you confront her about it? However you want. The burden of initiating the confrontation always falls to the victim in these situations, but you have the distinct benefit (and advantage) of having indisputable evidence that she'll not be able to worm her way out of.

THAT will piss her off. Trust me. Girls like these are a dime a dozen and are accustomed to being able to lie their way out of whatever trouble they get themselves in. That won't happen here because of your evidence, and when confronted with it, I'd honestly be shocked if she didn't react in a hostile manner. I've certainly never known one that, when confronted with such evidence, went : "Alright, I'm a reprehensible twat. You got me."

If I were in your shoes (and as I said, I have been once before), I'd confront her directly with the e-mails by printing them out and handing them to her like : "Hey honey, care to explain this?" while grinning from ear to ear as she desperately attempts to conjur up some elaborate bullsh*t story to explain herself.

As for the revenge, you will have it, trust me. This girl does care about you, that's why she stayed with you during the affair, so after the confrontation if there's any part of her left that cares for you she'll most likely subject herself to all sorts of pathetic embarassment trying to regain your trust, or convince you to give her another chance. The chick of 5 years who cheated on me spent 6 months leaving me pitiable voice mail messages and e-mails, while occasionally showing up at my front door to either sob about it or leave me care packages in the mailbox containing verbose handwritten emotional outpourings and photos of us taken during our time together.

Knowing that she still cares about you but cannot convince you to buy her bullsh*t will be your revenge. She'll get over it eventually, but if she cares about you at all (and I think she does) the next few weeks will be absolute hell for her.

There absolutely is such thing as closure. Just last week I had a huge falling out with my best friend. Won't get into the details but when he came to pay me back money that he owed me (only $180), he was a ***** about it and left it in my mailbox then texted me to to come get it while he sat in his car... So I walked outside, grabbed it, and lit it on fire for him to see how little I cared.

It felt so fantastic I can't even describe it, especially since he is broke as ****, and probably borrowed it from someone else and is always talking about being a badass and burning bridges.

[!! Shawn]

Originally Posted by The_Bringer

I've been "that dude" once before albeit in a much more serious relationship (5 years) and I honestly don't get why you would feel embarassed to have been cheated on. Human beings, for the most part, are flaky and deceptive by nature, and being one who would suspend your disbelief of said nature and enter into a committed relationship in spite of knowing that is nothing to be embarassed about. If anything she should be the one to feel embarassed for having been such a deceitful cunt to a guy who, from all outwardly appearances, was nothing but kind and forthcoming with her.

I also echo the sentiment of the lounge's resident sage, Talip Bin Osman. Revenge is a petty antic which does nothing but showcase your own lack of emotional maturity. It's natural to feel like you want to lash out or do something to "even the score" after having been so horribly taken advantage of, but actually doing so will only embolden her actions, as it solidifies the affect she's had on your life.

Be the stronger human being, let it go, and be thankful that you found out as soon as you did. Chicks like that are really good at covering their tracks, so who knows how long she'd have been content to string you along until she tired of living a dual existence.

Oh, and throw back a stiff drink to celebrate your newfound freedom.

The only people who say "be the stronger person and let it go" are the people have never enacted successful revenge. I'm not revengeful with everything, but if you go out of your way to screw me over, I'm not gonna walk away. I'm going to make sure that you get yours eventually.

[The_Bringer]

Originally Posted by !! Shawn

The only people who say "be the stronger person and let it go" are the people have never enacted successful revenge. I'm not revengeful with everything, but if you go out of your way to screw me over, I'm not gonna walk away. I'm going to make sure that you get yours eventually.

I've enacted successful revenge on people who've f*cked me over a handful of times in the past, I just don't view it as the liberating exercise I once did. Nowadays I avoid relationships with anybody who gives me any indication of shady activity, therefore I don't have to go that route.

Plus it really f*cking sucks if the person you're getting revenge on is as thoughtful and intelligent as you are, because then it becomes this drawn-out battle of who can have the last laugh.

[miron_lang]

Originally Posted by timbatron

Sometimes we post stuff on this forum to gauge opinion even though it's not necessarily the truth. While this is an anonymous account I still value BS as a kind of internet home where there exists a perception of me, so revealing the truth isn't always the best idea.

The truth about my last relationship is this - I didn't cheat on her. I put myself in her position on BS so I could judge what the heat would be like. She was the one doing the dirty on me, I was just too embarrassed to be a guy that was cheated on - never thought it would happen to be honest.

Well, here is the bombshell. I always suspected that she was cheating for at least 10 months of our 18 month relationship (was just a feeling I got like something didn't add up). However I never had any proof until a few months ago when we went on holiday. She logged onto her g-mail account on my phone and forgot to log out. When I went to use the phone to check our hotel bill, I opened the top booking.com email and assumed it was for the hotel we was staying at abroad. Wrong. It was for a hotel in England the night before we left which was strange because I didn't book it. I looked at the other e-mails and realised I was on her account and she forgot to log out.

Anyway I confronted her about it, and she claimed she booked it for her brother and his girlfriend. She sounded convincing but I didn't believe her. I ended it on the plane home. We met a few more times to talk, but I just couldn't trust her any more. I was heartbroken because there was still a part of me that thought she was telling the truth and I was just paranoid. I was torn for months but we kept talking and she said I was just being stupid and should trust her.

I was just coming round to the notion of trusting her again, when I was moving folders from my phone to my laptop to have it repaired. I noticed a couple of txt files that I hadn't even realised I had on my phone, so I opened them to see what they were. Turns out one was a page containing all her emails and logon details for various sites including Facebook. Now after hours upon hours of deliberating what to do, I decided to log onto her Facebook. I know it's morally wrong but I had to know, and I think the evidence I had previously, justified the act.

Simply put, she had been seeing this guy since last August to when we split up and even after. He was also the guy she went to that hotel with. But that's not all, turns out she had a couple of other guys on the go as well.

They all seem to think she is in love with her, and they all knew about me, but none knew about the others, and I didn't know about any lol.

I felt slightly sick, but also relieved that I now know the truth and I can move on without thinking what ifs, and did I make a mistake?

Now the question is lads - I have her Facebook, I know the Facebook's off all her secret guys...how do I wreak revenge? There's something masterful in this haha!

Just leave her alone and move on.


Its not worth it.

[K.Webster]

I just got off the phone to her.

Told her what I knew, and she denied it, until I told her how I knew.

Then she went into defence mode and made me out to be the bad guy for abusing her privacy. I just told her that she's pathetic and that none of this would have happened if she didn't lie nor cheat behind my back.

She said she still loved me and wanted to drive over tonight to talk things through, but I told her I have nothing to say. I don't love her anymore anyway, but it hurts to know that a year of our relationship was based on a lie.

Other than that, I told her to drop the ipad, kindle, books, and jewellery that I bought her at my friends charity shop or I'd post some naughty pictures I have of her to all of her facebook friends.

As soon as I've found out she's dropped that stuff off, I'm done with her for good.

[chav]

Walk away, be glad you are away from that emotional roller coaster and leave all that negative crap behind.

Getting revenge just means you are still in the thick of it, thinking about it and letting it consume you.

The revenge would be funny to read and pass my time, so I dont mind if you want to do it, but i wouldnt personally.

[The_Bringer]

Originally Posted by timbatron

I just got off the phone to her.

Told her what I knew, and she denied it, until I told her how I knew.

[B]Then she went into defence mode and made me out to be the bad guy for abusing her privacy[/B[. I just told her that she's pathetic and that none of this would have happened if she didn't lie nor cheat behind my back.

She said she still loved me and wanted to drive over tonight to talk things through, but I told her I have nothing to say. I don't love her anymore anyway, but it hurts to know that a year of our relationship was based on a lie.

Other than that, I told her to drop the ipad, kindle, books, and jewellery that I bought her at my friends charity shop or I'd post some naughty pictures I have of her to all of her facebook friends.

As soon as I've found out she's dropped that stuff off, I'm done with her for good.

I think you handled that quite nicely. Welcome back to single life, buddy.

You're lucky you have the aforementioned pics as leverage to get your sh*t back, too. Without them you'd likely never see that stuff again.

[rorymac]

Originally Posted by The_Bringer

I've been "that dude" once before albeit in a much more serious relationship (5 years) and I honestly don't get why you would feel embarassed to have been cheated on. Human beings, for the most part, are flaky and deceptive by nature, and being one who would suspend your disbelief of said nature and enter into a committed relationship in spite of knowing that is nothing to be embarassed about. If anything she should be the one to feel embarassed for having been such a deceitful cunt to a guy who, from all outwardly appearances, was nothing but kind and forthcoming with her.

I also echo the sentiment of the lounge's resident sage, Talip Bin Osman. Revenge is a petty antic which does nothing but showcase your own lack of emotional maturity. It's natural to feel like you want to lash out or do something to "even the score" after having been so horribly taken advantage of, but actually doing so will only embolden her actions, as it solidifies the affect she's had on your life.

Be the stronger human being, let it go, and be thankful that you found out as soon as you did. Chicks like that are really good at covering their tracks, so who knows how long she'd have been content to string you along until she tired of living a dual existence.

Oh, and throw back a stiff drink to celebrate your newfound freedom.

Good words