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  • aaadvIntimacy as a Social Commentary
    Story of an African Farm is exemplary of the feminist movement which brought focus to the incongruity of male and female roles in the late-Victorian era. The author Olive Schreiner utilizes her characters’ struggles and experiences in order to highlight the disadvantaged female condition. While other scholars have lauded Schreiner’s extensive usage of sexual inversion alongside animism to achieve a message of androgyny, those are not the primary indicators of the inequality of genders. Story of an African Farm relies on its characters’ pursuit of intimacy in order to bring to the reader’s attention the disparity of genders in the late nineteenth century.
    In order for intimacy to act as a gauge of gender equality, however, it requires the support of the present concepts provided by Ruth Knechtel and Heike Bauer. Knechtel’s essay “Olive Schreiner’s Pagan Animism: An Underlying Unity” pushes that Schreiner’s use of animism to achieve androgyny acted as the author’s primary tool to address gender roles. Knechtel draws from the story’s characters, especially text from Lyndall, with claims such as “…but all things are in all men, and one soul is the model of all.” (194). This idea of animism professes the idea of interconnectedness, while retaining individual bodies. The animistic idea of androgyny on a spiritual level challenges the late Victorian ideal of separate male and female strata. Similarly, Bauer’s essay on “Theorizing Female Inversion: Sexology, Discipline, and Gender at the Fin de Siècle” also focuses upon Schreiner’s use of androgyny to achieve a social commentary. While like Knechtel in claim that androgyny is the device used to condemn gender norms, Bauer believes androgyny is achieved through Schreiner’s use of sexual inversion and not animism. Examining primarily the characters of Lyndall and Gregory Rose and their gender reversals within the story, Bauer professes that the characters’ adoption of opposite gender roles deconstructs the barrier which separates male and female. The ability for these characters to engage with both sexual realms creates a sameness which questions the purpose and importance of gender roles of the era.
    While both arguments hold great merit, they only act as a prop for Schreiner’s true criticism of gender norms – intimacy. Utilizing the idea of androgyny and sameness presented by Bauer and Knechtel as a vehicle, Schreiner presents intimacy itself as the ultimate measure of equity of male and female gender roles. Most central to the usage of intimacy are the relationships of Gregory Rose and Lyndall with their genders; Schreiner establishes the two characters as parallels. This paralleled relationship is also deemed significant by Knechtel, who notes “…Schreiner has also created a complex relation of doubles – between Lyndall and Waldo; Lyndall and Gregory Rose” (264). Despite possessing wildly different traits and characteristics, these characters follow identical models of interaction with their genders and intimacy. Both individuals participate in gender inversion as well as pursuits of intimate interaction, but each end with vastly differing results. Gregory and Lyndall’s fates, stemming from their pursuits of intimacy, are Schreiner’s key signifiers of the disparity of male between female gender norms.
    Foremost is Lyndall, described by Bauer as one, “…who deliberately seeks to dissociate the female condition from the body by arguing for the rational female mind” (101). She possesses traits associated with the late Victorian male such as high ambition, which contrasts with the expected passivity of the female role. This ambition is displayed from the very moment she is reintroduced into the tale in the second portion, where she denounces the limitations of female education stating, “…a girls’ boarding-school is the worst. They are called finishing schools, and the name tells accurately what they are. They finish everything but imbecility and weakness, and that they cultivate” (182). Immediately in Lyndall’s reintroduction, the reader is presented with the character’s passionate dissatisfaction of the unfulfilled female potential. She participates in sexual inversion and assumes male roles, seen when agreeing to marry Gregory Rose for the sake of dominion, she states, “Yes. You wish to serve me, and to have nothing in return!—you shall have what you wish” (224). Her adoption of the male persona mirrors Rose’s own gender-play.
    Rose’s personality carries little weight, as he does not possess the same amount of development as Lyndall. However, his descriptions in the text and his actions provide the framing needed to parallel his character to Lyndall’s. Early on he is described by Lyndall as, “…a true woman—one born for the sphere that some women have to fill without being born for it” (193). It is implied early that Gregory possesses traits of the opposite gender even prior to his switching of gender roles, which mirrors Lyndall’s own masculine personality. As the narrative continues, Rose carries out several actions which give insight to his character. He abandons his fiancée, Em, emotionally in pursuit of Lyndall. Eventually in pursuit of intimacy with Lyndall, Rose dons the appearance of a woman; an act Knechtel claims “…reinforces the androgynous ideal of unity” (264). Gregory Rose imitates Lyndall’s adoption of the opposite gender role, yet goes further, even adapting the appearance of the opposite sex. Having Rose replicate Lyndall’s action, Schreiner has these two characters blur the definition of sexual boundaries on what each sex can or cannot do, and what separates them.
    In examination, both characters carry out near identical actions in the narrative. Each possess qualities of the opposite gender role prior to inversion, eventually inherit the persona of the opposite sex, and pursue their intimate desires. The joint possession of opposite traits and their forays into sexual inversion indicate sameness – forming the ideas of androgyny and animism. The fact that both characters are able to engage in the same activities, despite being different sexes, sets forth the notion that these characters are inherently alike and that the sexes are inherently equal. However, Schreiner does not simply break down gender roles, but exposes their incongruity as well. Androgyny, sameness, and animism are only present to greater emphasize the injustice which occurs in the characters’ pursuit of intimacy. It is this injustice, stemming from the characters’ pursuit of intimacy, that act Schreiner’s strongest statement against the female condition.

    Comment


    • eesIntimacy as a Social Commentary
      Story of an African Farm is exemplary of the feminist movement which brought focus to the incongruity of male and female roles in the late-Victorian era. The author Olive Schreiner utilizes her characters’ struggles and experiences in order to highlight the disadvantaged female condition. While other scholars have lauded Schreiner’s extensive usage of sexual inversion alongside animism to achieve a message of androgyny, those are not the primary indicators of the inequality of genders. Story of an African Farm relies on its characters’ pursuit of intimacy in order to bring to the reader’s attention the disparity of genders in the late nineteenth century.
      In order for intimacy to act as a gauge of gender equality, however, it requires the support of the present concepts provided by Ruth Knechtel and Heike Bauer. Knechtel’s essay “Olive Schreiner’s Pagan Animism: An Underlying Unity” pushes that Schreiner’s use of animism to achieve androgyny acted as the author’s primary tool to address gender roles. Knechtel draws from the story’s characters, especially text from Lyndall, with claims such as “…but all things are in all men, and one soul is the model of all.” (194). This idea of animism professes the idea of interconnectedness, while retaining individual bodies. The animistic idea of androgyny on a spiritual level challenges the late Victorian ideal of separate male and female strata. Similarly, Bauer’s essay on “Theorizing Female Inversion: Sexology, Discipline, and Gender at the Fin de Siècle” also focuses upon Schreiner’s use of androgyny to achieve a social commentary. While like Knechtel in claim that androgyny is the device used to condemn gender norms, Bauer believes androgyny is achieved through Schreiner’s use of sexual inversion and not animism. Examining primarily the characters of Lyndall and Gregory Rose and their gender reversals within the story, Bauer professes that the characters’ adoption of opposite gender roles deconstructs the barrier which separates male and female. The ability for these characters to engage with both sexual realms creates a sameness which questions the purpose and importance of gender roles of the era.
      While both arguments hold great merit, they only act as a prop for Schreiner’s true criticism of gender norms – intimacy. Utilizing the idea of androgyny and sameness presented by Bauer and Knechtel as a vehicle, Schreiner presents intimacy itself as the ultimate measure of equity of male and female gender roles. Most central to the usage of intimacy are the relationships of Gregory Rose and Lyndall with their genders; Schreiner establishes the two characters as parallels. This paralleled relationship is also deemed significant by Knechtel, who notes “…Schreiner has also created a complex relation of doubles – between Lyndall and Waldo; Lyndall and Gregory Rose” (264). Despite possessing wildly different traits and characteristics, these characters follow identical models of interaction with their genders and intimacy. Both individuals participate in gender inversion as well as pursuits of intimate interaction, but each end with vastly differing results. Gregory and Lyndall’s fates, stemming from their pursuits of intimacy, are Schreiner’s key signifiers of the disparity of male between female gender norms.
      Foremost is Lyndall, described by Bauer as one, “…who deliberately seeks to dissociate the female condition from the body by arguing for the rational female mind” (101). She possesses traits associated with the late Victorian male such as high ambition, which contrasts with the expected passivity of the female role. This ambition is displayed from the very moment she is reintroduced into the tale in the second portion, where she denounces the limitations of female education stating, “…a girls’ boarding-school is the worst. They are called finishing schools, and the name tells accurately what they are. They finish everything but imbecility and weakness, and that they cultivate” (182). Immediately in Lyndall’s reintroduction, the reader is presented with the character’s passionate dissatisfaction of the unfulfilled female potential. She participates in sexual inversion and assumes male roles, seen when agreeing to marry Gregory Rose for the sake of dominion, she states, “Yes. You wish to serve me, and to have nothing in return!—you shall have what you wish” (224). Her adoption of the male persona mirrors Rose’s own gender-play.
      Rose’s personality carries little weight, as he does not possess the same amount of development as Lyndall. However, his descriptions in the text and his actions provide the framing needed to parallel his character to Lyndall’s. Early on he is described by Lyndall as, “…a true woman—one born for the sphere that some women have to fill without being born for it” (193). It is implied early that Gregory possesses traits of the opposite gender even prior to his switching of gender roles, which mirrors Lyndall’s own masculine personality. As the narrative continues, Rose carries out several actions which give insight to his character. He abandons his fiancée, Em, emotionally in pursuit of Lyndall. Eventually in pursuit of intimacy with Lyndall, Rose dons the appearance of a woman; an act Knechtel claims “…reinforces the androgynous ideal of unity” (264). Gregory Rose imitates Lyndall’s adoption of the opposite gender role, yet goes further, even adapting the appearance of the opposite sex. Having Rose replicate Lyndall’s action, Schreiner has these two characters blur the definition of sexual boundaries on what each sex can or cannot do, and what separates them.
      In examination, both characters carry out near identical actions in the narrative. Each possess qualities of the opposite gender role prior to inversion, eventually inherit the persona of the opposite sex, and pursue their intimate desires. The joint possession of opposite traits and their forays into sexual inversion indicate sameness – forming the ideas of androgyny and animism. The fact that both characters are able to engage in the same activities, despite being different sexes, sets forth the notion that these characters are inherently alike and that the sexes are inherently equal. However, Schreiner does not simply break down gender roles, but exposes their incongruity as well. Androgyny, sameness, and animism are only present to greater emphasize the injustice which occurs in the characters’ pursuit of intimacy. It is this injustice, stemming from the characters’ pursuit of intimacy, that act Schreiner’s strongest statement against the female condition.

      Comment


      • dsvIntimacy as a Social Commentary
        Story of an African Farm is exemplary of the feminist movement which brought focus to the incongruity of male and female roles in the late-Victorian era. The author Olive Schreiner utilizes her characters’ struggles and experiences in order to highlight the disadvantaged female condition. While other scholars have lauded Schreiner’s extensive usage of sexual inversion alongside animism to achieve a message of androgyny, those are not the primary indicators of the inequality of genders. Story of an African Farm relies on its characters’ pursuit of intimacy in order to bring to the reader’s attention the disparity of genders in the late nineteenth century.
        In order for intimacy to act as a gauge of gender equality, however, it requires the support of the present concepts provided by Ruth Knechtel and Heike Bauer. Knechtel’s essay “Olive Schreiner’s Pagan Animism: An Underlying Unity” pushes that Schreiner’s use of animism to achieve androgyny acted as the author’s primary tool to address gender roles. Knechtel draws from the story’s characters, especially text from Lyndall, with claims such as “…but all things are in all men, and one soul is the model of all.” (194). This idea of animism professes the idea of interconnectedness, while retaining individual bodies. The animistic idea of androgyny on a spiritual level challenges the late Victorian ideal of separate male and female strata. Similarly, Bauer’s essay on “Theorizing Female Inversion: Sexology, Discipline, and Gender at the Fin de Siècle” also focuses upon Schreiner’s use of androgyny to achieve a social commentary. While like Knechtel in claim that androgyny is the device used to condemn gender norms, Bauer believes androgyny is achieved through Schreiner’s use of sexual inversion and not animism. Examining primarily the characters of Lyndall and Gregory Rose and their gender reversals within the story, Bauer professes that the characters’ adoption of opposite gender roles deconstructs the barrier which separates male and female. The ability for these characters to engage with both sexual realms creates a sameness which questions the purpose and importance of gender roles of the era.
        While both arguments hold great merit, they only act as a prop for Schreiner’s true criticism of gender norms – intimacy. Utilizing the idea of androgyny and sameness presented by Bauer and Knechtel as a vehicle, Schreiner presents intimacy itself as the ultimate measure of equity of male and female gender roles. Most central to the usage of intimacy are the relationships of Gregory Rose and Lyndall with their genders; Schreiner establishes the two characters as parallels. This paralleled relationship is also deemed significant by Knechtel, who notes “…Schreiner has also created a complex relation of doubles – between Lyndall and Waldo; Lyndall and Gregory Rose” (264). Despite possessing wildly different traits and characteristics, these characters follow identical models of interaction with their genders and intimacy. Both individuals participate in gender inversion as well as pursuits of intimate interaction, but each end with vastly differing results. Gregory and Lyndall’s fates, stemming from their pursuits of intimacy, are Schreiner’s key signifiers of the disparity of male between female gender norms.
        Foremost is Lyndall, described by Bauer as one, “…who deliberately seeks to dissociate the female condition from the body by arguing for the rational female mind” (101). She possesses traits associated with the late Victorian male such as high ambition, which contrasts with the expected passivity of the female role. This ambition is displayed from the very moment she is reintroduced into the tale in the second portion, where she denounces the limitations of female education stating, “…a girls’ boarding-school is the worst. They are called finishing schools, and the name tells accurately what they are. They finish everything but imbecility and weakness, and that they cultivate” (182). Immediately in Lyndall’s reintroduction, the reader is presented with the character’s passionate dissatisfaction of the unfulfilled female potential. She participates in sexual inversion and assumes male roles, seen when agreeing to marry Gregory Rose for the sake of dominion, she states, “Yes. You wish to serve me, and to have nothing in return!—you shall have what you wish” (224). Her adoption of the male persona mirrors Rose’s own gender-play.
        Rose’s personality carries little weight, as he does not possess the same amount of development as Lyndall. However, his descriptions in the text and his actions provide the framing needed to parallel his character to Lyndall’s. Early on he is described by Lyndall as, “…a true woman—one born for the sphere that some women have to fill without being born for it” (193). It is implied early that Gregory possesses traits of the opposite gender even prior to his switching of gender roles, which mirrors Lyndall’s own masculine personality. As the narrative continues, Rose carries out several actions which give insight to his character. He abandons his fiancée, Em, emotionally in pursuit of Lyndall. Eventually in pursuit of intimacy with Lyndall, Rose dons the appearance of a woman; an act Knechtel claims “…reinforces the androgynous ideal of unity” (264). Gregory Rose imitates Lyndall’s adoption of the opposite gender role, yet goes further, even adapting the appearance of the opposite sex. Having Rose replicate Lyndall’s action, Schreiner has these two characters blur the definition of sexual boundaries on what each sex can or cannot do, and what separates them.
        In examination, both characters carry out near identical actions in the narrative. Each possess qualities of the opposite gender role prior to inversion, eventually inherit the persona of the opposite sex, and pursue their intimate desires. The joint possession of opposite traits and their forays into sexual inversion indicate sameness – forming the ideas of androgyny and animism. The fact that both characters are able to engage in the same activities, despite being different sexes, sets forth the notion that these characters are inherently alike and that the sexes are inherently equal. However, Schreiner does not simply break down gender roles, but exposes their incongruity as well. Androgyny, sameness, and animism are only present to greater emphasize the injustice which occurs in the characters’ pursuit of intimacy. It is this injustice, stemming from the characters’ pursuit of intimacy, that act Schreiner’s strongest statement against the female condition.

        Comment


        • My whole relationship is a wonderful disaster when I attempt to be romantic... My engagement was suppose to be riding on horseback with me putting a little cd player on with our song and proposing to her at sunset. It would be on top of this one hill the guide was suppose to take us to and we would set up camp there with the horses, enjoying a nice romantic campfire....What ACTUALLY happened: Cd player broke, the horses were acting up so the guide took them back after we rode, I did not know but I brought a summer tent... in march...up the mountains... with an air mattress... on the COLDEST DAMN NIGHT. She was shivering and wanted to go home, the fire was giving me trouble starting because the wood was wet, and I said screw it putting the ring on her pillow and asking to go in for the night to cuddle to keep us warm. When she saw the box I tried to propose and she laughed asking if I was serious because she was freezing her ass off (she did say yes but it was more of a "Yaa sure, can we cuddle and get warm now?"). The night was about 11 degrees out and we had frost on the tent in the morning. She still bugs me on how that was the most failed romantic proposal ever.
          The next time I thought I would redeem myself. We were engaged for 6 years because we had some financially hard times and it was not wise to have a wedding for a while. One week we went to the beach and I had saved up some money and figured it was time to move getting married into motion. I wanted to make it a romantic conversation and we use to talk about life and such while Kayaking on a lake when younger. SO... I got the bright idea to take her out on the ocean around sunset in this one spot where the sun sets RIGHT over the ocean... We would discuss plans to get married and such and she would love it... NOT what happened... We rented the kayaks and took them out. What I first failed to realize was that a hurricane was brewing far off shore making tide and large swells. We got the kayaks to the edge of the jetty were the both of us were now exhausted. Suddenly we started to get pulled and a large boat came past us nearly flipping her over. This set her into panic and she started complaining. at the mouth to the ocean we were suddenly meet with 6 foot swells and getting pulled hard. The conversation turned into screams of hatred from her and curses I think have yet to be recorded in a book of curse words. She managed though to get herself stuck on the end of the jetty rocks and her leg was cut up in the process. A local boat came near and called for coast guard. Instead of the call going out woman stranded herself on jetty... it went out as "Woman washed up on shore." This made EVERYONE local with a badge rush to us thinking the worse. Coast guard, police, firefighter, ambulance, and some national guards (soon to be explained) arrived on scene. We came to find out where we were stranded was apparently restricted grounds for the national guard. to make a long story short, she was taken away by the ambulance and I was told to kayak both her boat and mine, against the current, ALL the way back.
          The final romantic failure was our wedding itself... This was last week where we planned for a year to have a wonderful wedding. All looked like it was going to go well with a bright sunny day and perfect weather. Then the DJ messed up. I had to grab a guest because he was not able to announce party in and play music at same time himself. Then the first dance was messed up and we stood for a min on the floor with no music, then the father daughter messed up too. The killer of the day was my grandmother who fell on the first song to pull people onto the dance floor. She broke her hip and laid there for 30-40 min till paramedics came and assessed the situation before moving her. After this half of the room was empty and the dj continued not to help talking more than he played music. After everything was over and my bride was done crying we headed off to a mountain house where we were going to spend the night away from everyone and have wonderful sex. Ended up with us getting lost and arriving at the house near 2am... She passed out and I did as well after the long day. No sex, no nothing, just sleep.
          Conclusion to all of this... We are happily married, love each other more than ever and I am "Never allowed to plan romantic getaways or anything for the love of god".... (Planning a trip to Ireland next year though. It's going to be SOOOO romantic!!)

          Comment


          • aMy whole relationship is a wonderful disaster when I attempt to be romantic... My engagement was suppose to be riding on horseback with me putting a little cd player on with our song and proposing to her at sunset. It would be on top of this one hill the guide was suppose to take us to and we would set up camp there with the horses, enjoying a nice romantic campfire....What ACTUALLY happened: Cd player broke, the horses were acting up so the guide took them back after we rode, I did not know but I brought a summer tent... in march...up the mountains... with an air mattress... on the COLDEST DAMN NIGHT. She was shivering and wanted to go home, the fire was giving me trouble starting because the wood was wet, and I said screw it putting the ring on her pillow and asking to go in for the night to cuddle to keep us warm. When she saw the box I tried to propose and she laughed asking if I was serious because she was freezing her ass off (she did say yes but it was more of a "Yaa sure, can we cuddle and get warm now?"). The night was about 11 degrees out and we had frost on the tent in the morning. She still bugs me on how that was the most failed romantic proposal ever.
            The next time I thought I would redeem myself. We were engaged for 6 years because we had some financially hard times and it was not wise to have a wedding for a while. One week we went to the beach and I had saved up some money and figured it was time to move getting married into motion. I wanted to make it a romantic conversation and we use to talk about life and such while Kayaking on a lake when younger. SO... I got the bright idea to take her out on the ocean around sunset in this one spot where the sun sets RIGHT over the ocean... We would discuss plans to get married and such and she would love it... NOT what happened... We rented the kayaks and took them out. What I first failed to realize was that a hurricane was brewing far off shore making tide and large swells. We got the kayaks to the edge of the jetty were the both of us were now exhausted. Suddenly we started to get pulled and a large boat came past us nearly flipping her over. This set her into panic and she started complaining. at the mouth to the ocean we were suddenly meet with 6 foot swells and getting pulled hard. The conversation turned into screams of hatred from her and curses I think have yet to be recorded in a book of curse words. She managed though to get herself stuck on the end of the jetty rocks and her leg was cut up in the process. A local boat came near and called for coast guard. Instead of the call going out woman stranded herself on jetty... it went out as "Woman washed up on shore." This made EVERYONE local with a badge rush to us thinking the worse. Coast guard, police, firefighter, ambulance, and some national guards (soon to be explained) arrived on scene. We came to find out where we were stranded was apparently restricted grounds for the national guard. to make a long story short, she was taken away by the ambulance and I was told to kayak both her boat and mine, against the current, ALL the way back.
            The final romantic failure was our wedding itself... This was last week where we planned for a year to have a wonderful wedding. All looked like it was going to go well with a bright sunny day and perfect weather. Then the DJ messed up. I had to grab a guest because he was not able to announce party in and play music at same time himself. Then the first dance was messed up and we stood for a min on the floor with no music, then the father daughter messed up too. The killer of the day was my grandmother who fell on the first song to pull people onto the dance floor. She broke her hip and laid there for 30-40 min till paramedics came and assessed the situation before moving her. After this half of the room was empty and the dj continued not to help talking more than he played music. After everything was over and my bride was done crying we headed off to a mountain house where we were going to spend the night away from everyone and have wonderful sex. Ended up with us getting lost and arriving at the house near 2am... She passed out and I did as well after the long day. No sex, no nothing, just sleep.
            Conclusion to all of this... We are happily married, love each other more than ever and I am "Never allowed to plan romantic getaways or anything for the love of god".... (Planning a trip to Ireland next year though. It's going to be SOOOO romantic!!)

            Comment


            • aMy whole relationship is a wonderful disaster when I attempt to be romantic... My engagement was suppose to be riding on horseback with me putting a little cd player on with our song and proposing to her at sunset. It would be on top of this one hill the guide was suppose to take us to and we would set up camp there with the horses, enjoying a nice romantic campfire....What ACTUALLY happened: Cd player broke, the horses were acting up so the guide took them back after we rode, I did not know but I brought a summer tent... in march...up the mountains... with an air mattress... on the COLDEST DAMN NIGHT. She was shivering and wanted to go home, the fire was giving me trouble starting because the wood was wet, and I said screw it putting the ring on her pillow and asking to go in for the night to cuddle to keep us warm. When she saw the box I tried to propose and she laughed asking if I was serious because she was freezing her ass off (she did say yes but it was more of a "Yaa sure, can we cuddle and get warm now?"). The night was about 11 degrees out and we had frost on the tent in the morning. She still bugs me on how that was the most failed romantic proposal ever.
              The next time I thought I would redeem myself. We were engaged for 6 years because we had some financially hard times and it was not wise to have a wedding for a while. One week we went to the beach and I had saved up some money and figured it was time to move getting married into motion. I wanted to make it a romantic conversation and we use to talk about life and such while Kayaking on a lake when younger. SO... I got the bright idea to take her out on the ocean around sunset in this one spot where the sun sets RIGHT over the ocean... We would discuss plans to get married and such and she would love it... NOT what happened... We rented the kayaks and took them out. What I first failed to realize was that a hurricane was brewing far off shore making tide and large swells. We got the kayaks to the edge of the jetty were the both of us were now exhausted. Suddenly we started to get pulled and a large boat came past us nearly flipping her over. This set her into panic and she started complaining. at the mouth to the ocean we were suddenly meet with 6 foot swells and getting pulled hard. The conversation turned into screams of hatred from her and curses I think have yet to be recorded in a book of curse words. She managed though to get herself stuck on the end of the jetty rocks and her leg was cut up in the process. A local boat came near and called for coast guard. Instead of the call going out woman stranded herself on jetty... it went out as "Woman washed up on shore." This made EVERYONE local with a badge rush to us thinking the worse. Coast guard, police, firefighter, ambulance, and some national guards (soon to be explained) arrived on scene. We came to find out where we were stranded was apparently restricted grounds for the national guard. to make a long story short, she was taken away by the ambulance and I was told to kayak both her boat and mine, against the current, ALL the way back.
              The final romantic failure was our wedding itself... This was last week where we planned for a year to have a wonderful wedding. All looked like it was going to go well with a bright sunny day and perfect weather. Then the DJ messed up. I had to grab a guest because he was not able to announce party in and play music at same time himself. Then the first dance was messed up and we stood for a min on the floor with no music, then the father daughter messed up too. The killer of the day was my grandmother who fell on the first song to pull people onto the dance floor. She broke her hip and laid there for 30-40 min till paramedics came and assessed the situation before moving her. After this half of the room was empty and the dj continued not to help talking more than he played music. After everything was over and my bride was done crying we headed off to a mountain house where we were going to spend the night away from everyone and have wonderful sex. Ended up with us getting lost and arriving at the house near 2am... She passed out and I did as well after the long day. No sex, no nothing, just sleep.
              Conclusion to all of this... We are happily married, love each other more than ever and I am "Never allowed to plan romantic getaways or anything for the love of god".... (Planning a trip to Ireland next year though. It's going to be SOOOO romantic!!)

              Comment


              • asMy whole relationship is a wonderful disaster when I attempt to be romantic... My engagement was suppose to be riding on horseback with me putting a little cd player on with our song and proposing to her at sunset. It would be on top of this one hill the guide was suppose to take us to and we would set up camp there with the horses, enjoying a nice romantic campfire....What ACTUALLY happened: Cd player broke, the horses were acting up so the guide took them back after we rode, I did not know but I brought a summer tent... in march...up the mountains... with an air mattress... on the COLDEST DAMN NIGHT. She was shivering and wanted to go home, the fire was giving me trouble starting because the wood was wet, and I said screw it putting the ring on her pillow and asking to go in for the night to cuddle to keep us warm. When she saw the box I tried to propose and she laughed asking if I was serious because she was freezing her ass off (she did say yes but it was more of a "Yaa sure, can we cuddle and get warm now?"). The night was about 11 degrees out and we had frost on the tent in the morning. She still bugs me on how that was the most failed romantic proposal ever.
                The next time I thought I would redeem myself. We were engaged for 6 years because we had some financially hard times and it was not wise to have a wedding for a while. One week we went to the beach and I had saved up some money and figured it was time to move getting married into motion. I wanted to make it a romantic conversation and we use to talk about life and such while Kayaking on a lake when younger. SO... I got the bright idea to take her out on the ocean around sunset in this one spot where the sun sets RIGHT over the ocean... We would discuss plans to get married and such and she would love it... NOT what happened... We rented the kayaks and took them out. What I first failed to realize was that a hurricane was brewing far off shore making tide and large swells. We got the kayaks to the edge of the jetty were the both of us were now exhausted. Suddenly we started to get pulled and a large boat came past us nearly flipping her over. This set her into panic and she started complaining. at the mouth to the ocean we were suddenly meet with 6 foot swells and getting pulled hard. The conversation turned into screams of hatred from her and curses I think have yet to be recorded in a book of curse words. She managed though to get herself stuck on the end of the jetty rocks and her leg was cut up in the process. A local boat came near and called for coast guard. Instead of the call going out woman stranded herself on jetty... it went out as "Woman washed up on shore." This made EVERYONE local with a badge rush to us thinking the worse. Coast guard, police, firefighter, ambulance, and some national guards (soon to be explained) arrived on scene. We came to find out where we were stranded was apparently restricted grounds for the national guard. to make a long story short, she was taken away by the ambulance and I was told to kayak both her boat and mine, against the current, ALL the way back.
                The final romantic failure was our wedding itself... This was last week where we planned for a year to have a wonderful wedding. All looked like it was going to go well with a bright sunny day and perfect weather. Then the DJ messed up. I had to grab a guest because he was not able to announce party in and play music at same time himself. Then the first dance was messed up and we stood for a min on the floor with no music, then the father daughter messed up too. The killer of the day was my grandmother who fell on the first song to pull people onto the dance floor. She broke her hip and laid there for 30-40 min till paramedics came and assessed the situation before moving her. After this half of the room was empty and the dj continued not to help talking more than he played music. After everything was over and my bride was done crying we headed off to a mountain house where we were going to spend the night away from everyone and have wonderful sex. Ended up with us getting lost and arriving at the house near 2am... She passed out and I did as well after the long day. No sex, no nothing, just sleep.
                Conclusion to all of this... We are happily married, love each other more than ever and I am "Never allowed to plan romantic getaways or anything for the love of god".... (Planning a trip to Ireland next year though. It's going to be SOOOO romantic!!)

                Comment


                • aaassMy whole relationship is a wonderful disaster when I attempt to be romantic... My engagement was suppose to be riding on horseback with me putting a little cd player on with our song and proposing to her at sunset. It would be on top of this one hill the guide was suppose to take us to and we would set up camp there with the horses, enjoying a nice romantic campfire....What ACTUALLY happened: Cd player broke, the horses were acting up so the guide took them back after we rode, I did not know but I brought a summer tent... in march...up the mountains... with an air mattress... on the COLDEST DAMN NIGHT. She was shivering and wanted to go home, the fire was giving me trouble starting because the wood was wet, and I said screw it putting the ring on her pillow and asking to go in for the night to cuddle to keep us warm. When she saw the box I tried to propose and she laughed asking if I was serious because she was freezing her ass off (she did say yes but it was more of a "Yaa sure, can we cuddle and get warm now?"). The night was about 11 degrees out and we had frost on the tent in the morning. She still bugs me on how that was the most failed romantic proposal ever.
                  The next time I thought I would redeem myself. We were engaged for 6 years because we had some financially hard times and it was not wise to have a wedding for a while. One week we went to the beach and I had saved up some money and figured it was time to move getting married into motion. I wanted to make it a romantic conversation and we use to talk about life and such while Kayaking on a lake when younger. SO... I got the bright idea to take her out on the ocean around sunset in this one spot where the sun sets RIGHT over the ocean... We would discuss plans to get married and such and she would love it... NOT what happened... We rented the kayaks and took them out. What I first failed to realize was that a hurricane was brewing far off shore making tide and large swells. We got the kayaks to the edge of the jetty were the both of us were now exhausted. Suddenly we started to get pulled and a large boat came past us nearly flipping her over. This set her into panic and she started complaining. at the mouth to the ocean we were suddenly meet with 6 foot swells and getting pulled hard. The conversation turned into screams of hatred from her and curses I think have yet to be recorded in a book of curse words. She managed though to get herself stuck on the end of the jetty rocks and her leg was cut up in the process. A local boat came near and called for coast guard. Instead of the call going out woman stranded herself on jetty... it went out as "Woman washed up on shore." This made EVERYONE local with a badge rush to us thinking the worse. Coast guard, police, firefighter, ambulance, and some national guards (soon to be explained) arrived on scene. We came to find out where we were stranded was apparently restricted grounds for the national guard. to make a long story short, she was taken away by the ambulance and I was told to kayak both her boat and mine, against the current, ALL the way back.
                  The final romantic failure was our wedding itself... This was last week where we planned for a year to have a wonderful wedding. All looked like it was going to go well with a bright sunny day and perfect weather. Then the DJ messed up. I had to grab a guest because he was not able to announce party in and play music at same time himself. Then the first dance was messed up and we stood for a min on the floor with no music, then the father daughter messed up too. The killer of the day was my grandmother who fell on the first song to pull people onto the dance floor. She broke her hip and laid there for 30-40 min till paramedics came and assessed the situation before moving her. After this half of the room was empty and the dj continued not to help talking more than he played music. After everything was over and my bride was done crying we headed off to a mountain house where we were going to spend the night away from everyone and have wonderful sex. Ended up with us getting lost and arriving at the house near 2am... She passed out and I did as well after the long day. No sex, no nothing, just sleep.
                  Conclusion to all of this... We are happily married, love each other more than ever and I am "Never allowed to plan romantic getaways or anything for the love of god".... (Planning a trip to Ireland next year though. It's going to be SOOOO romantic!!)

                  Comment


                  • safsaMy whole relationship is a wonderful disaster when I attempt to be romantic... My engagement was suppose to be riding on horseback with me putting a little cd player on with our song and proposing to her at sunset. It would be on top of this one hill the guide was suppose to take us to and we would set up camp there with the horses, enjoying a nice romantic campfire....What ACTUALLY happened: Cd player broke, the horses were acting up so the guide took them back after we rode, I did not know but I brought a summer tent... in march...up the mountains... with an air mattress... on the COLDEST DAMN NIGHT. She was shivering and wanted to go home, the fire was giving me trouble starting because the wood was wet, and I said screw it putting the ring on her pillow and asking to go in for the night to cuddle to keep us warm. When she saw the box I tried to propose and she laughed asking if I was serious because she was freezing her ass off (she did say yes but it was more of a "Yaa sure, can we cuddle and get warm now?"). The night was about 11 degrees out and we had frost on the tent in the morning. She still bugs me on how that was the most failed romantic proposal ever.
                    The next time I thought I would redeem myself. We were engaged for 6 years because we had some financially hard times and it was not wise to have a wedding for a while. One week we went to the beach and I had saved up some money and figured it was time to move getting married into motion. I wanted to make it a romantic conversation and we use to talk about life and such while Kayaking on a lake when younger. SO... I got the bright idea to take her out on the ocean around sunset in this one spot where the sun sets RIGHT over the ocean... We would discuss plans to get married and such and she would love it... NOT what happened... We rented the kayaks and took them out. What I first failed to realize was that a hurricane was brewing far off shore making tide and large swells. We got the kayaks to the edge of the jetty were the both of us were now exhausted. Suddenly we started to get pulled and a large boat came past us nearly flipping her over. This set her into panic and she started complaining. at the mouth to the ocean we were suddenly meet with 6 foot swells and getting pulled hard. The conversation turned into screams of hatred from her and curses I think have yet to be recorded in a book of curse words. She managed though to get herself stuck on the end of the jetty rocks and her leg was cut up in the process. A local boat came near and called for coast guard. Instead of the call going out woman stranded herself on jetty... it went out as "Woman washed up on shore." This made EVERYONE local with a badge rush to us thinking the worse. Coast guard, police, firefighter, ambulance, and some national guards (soon to be explained) arrived on scene. We came to find out where we were stranded was apparently restricted grounds for the national guard. to make a long story short, she was taken away by the ambulance and I was told to kayak both her boat and mine, against the current, ALL the way back.
                    The final romantic failure was our wedding itself... This was last week where we planned for a year to have a wonderful wedding. All looked like it was going to go well with a bright sunny day and perfect weather. Then the DJ messed up. I had to grab a guest because he was not able to announce party in and play music at same time himself. Then the first dance was messed up and we stood for a min on the floor with no music, then the father daughter messed up too. The killer of the day was my grandmother who fell on the first song to pull people onto the dance floor. She broke her hip and laid there for 30-40 min till paramedics came and assessed the situation before moving her. After this half of the room was empty and the dj continued not to help talking more than he played music. After everything was over and my bride was done crying we headed off to a mountain house where we were going to spend the night away from everyone and have wonderful sex. Ended up with us getting lost and arriving at the house near 2am... She passed out and I did as well after the long day. No sex, no nothing, just sleep.
                    Conclusion to all of this... We are happily married, love each other more than ever and I am "Never allowed to plan romantic getaways or anything for the love of god".... (Planning a trip to Ireland next year though. It's going to be SOOOO romantic!!)

                    Comment


                    • sdsadMy whole relationship is a wonderful disaster when I attempt to be romantic... My engagement was suppose to be riding on horseback with me putting a little cd player on with our song and proposing to her at sunset. It would be on top of this one hill the guide was suppose to take us to and we would set up camp there with the horses, enjoying a nice romantic campfire....What ACTUALLY happened: Cd player broke, the horses were acting up so the guide took them back after we rode, I did not know but I brought a summer tent... in march...up the mountains... with an air mattress... on the COLDEST DAMN NIGHT. She was shivering and wanted to go home, the fire was giving me trouble starting because the wood was wet, and I said screw it putting the ring on her pillow and asking to go in for the night to cuddle to keep us warm. When she saw the box I tried to propose and she laughed asking if I was serious because she was freezing her ass off (she did say yes but it was more of a "Yaa sure, can we cuddle and get warm now?"). The night was about 11 degrees out and we had frost on the tent in the morning. She still bugs me on how that was the most failed romantic proposal ever.
                      The next time I thought I would redeem myself. We were engaged for 6 years because we had some financially hard times and it was not wise to have a wedding for a while. One week we went to the beach and I had saved up some money and figured it was time to move getting married into motion. I wanted to make it a romantic conversation and we use to talk about life and such while Kayaking on a lake when younger. SO... I got the bright idea to take her out on the ocean around sunset in this one spot where the sun sets RIGHT over the ocean... We would discuss plans to get married and such and she would love it... NOT what happened... We rented the kayaks and took them out. What I first failed to realize was that a hurricane was brewing far off shore making tide and large swells. We got the kayaks to the edge of the jetty were the both of us were now exhausted. Suddenly we started to get pulled and a large boat came past us nearly flipping her over. This set her into panic and she started complaining. at the mouth to the ocean we were suddenly meet with 6 foot swells and getting pulled hard. The conversation turned into screams of hatred from her and curses I think have yet to be recorded in a book of curse words. She managed though to get herself stuck on the end of the jetty rocks and her leg was cut up in the process. A local boat came near and called for coast guard. Instead of the call going out woman stranded herself on jetty... it went out as "Woman washed up on shore." This made EVERYONE local with a badge rush to us thinking the worse. Coast guard, police, firefighter, ambulance, and some national guards (soon to be explained) arrived on scene. We came to find out where we were stranded was apparently restricted grounds for the national guard. to make a long story short, she was taken away by the ambulance and I was told to kayak both her boat and mine, against the current, ALL the way back.
                      The final romantic failure was our wedding itself... This was last week where we planned for a year to have a wonderful wedding. All looked like it was going to go well with a bright sunny day and perfect weather. Then the DJ messed up. I had to grab a guest because he was not able to announce party in and play music at same time himself. Then the first dance was messed up and we stood for a min on the floor with no music, then the father daughter messed up too. The killer of the day was my grandmother who fell on the first song to pull people onto the dance floor. She broke her hip and laid there for 30-40 min till paramedics came and assessed the situation before moving her. After this half of the room was empty and the dj continued not to help talking more than he played music. After everything was over and my bride was done crying we headed off to a mountain house where we were going to spend the night away from everyone and have wonderful sex. Ended up with us getting lost and arriving at the house near 2am... She passed out and I did as well after the long day. No sex, no nothing, just sleep.
                      Conclusion to all of this... We are happily married, love each other more than ever and I am "Never allowed to plan romantic getaways or anything for the love of god".... (Planning a trip to Ireland next year though. It's going to be SOOOO romantic!!)

                      Comment

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