post a joke get a billion points

[ßringer]

Post away. Anybody who would claim to be offended by some intentionally morbid jokes is most likely an uptight ****face in the first place.

Here's two quickies if you're the type who likes their jokes short and sweet.

A man walks into a bar....Two weeks later he dies alone in his apartment of AIDS.

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind boy get for Christmas?

Cancer.

[UTEP]

Whats the difference between an Irish bar and an Irish funeral?






















One less drunk!

[ßringer]

What's black and blue and hates sex?

The 8 year old in my closet.

[-Johannes-]

A tough guy walks into a crowded bar with a crocodile on a leash, making a loud entrance he screams:

Any of you weak punks brave enough to do this?

He wips out his dick,opens de crocs mouth, puts it inside and smacks the crocs head with a basball bat as hard as he could. The croc slams its mouth shut crushing the man's genitalia. Everyone is in disbelief when the man proceeds to force the croc to open its mouth to reveal his unscathed manhood.
He looks around and says:

Well you buch of spineless pussies? Ready to try?

The bar is silent until a guy hesitantly raises his hand and says:

I'll try sir... just don't smack me so hard

[ßringer]

How are a tornado and a marriage alike?

They both start with a lot of blowing and in the end you lose your house.

[UTEP]

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road?

The dead dog has skid mark's leading to it.


What time do Chinese people make their dentist's appointments?

tooth hurty.


How did the Mexican girl get pregnant after doing a homework assignment?

the teacher told her to do an essay.

[ßringer]

A tough guy walks into a crowded bar with a crocodile on a leash, making a loud entrance he screams:

Any of you weak punks brave enough to do this?

He wips out his dick,opens de crocs mouth, puts it inside and smacks the crocs head with a basball bat as hard as he could. The croc slams its mouth shut crushing the man's genitalia. Everyone is in disbelief when the man proceeds to force the croc to open its mouth to reveal his unscathed manhood.
He looks around and says:

Well you buch of spineless pussies? Ready to try?

The bar is silent until a guy hesitantly raises his hand and says:

I'll try sir... just don't smack me so hard

Kinda reminds me of another bar related crocodile joke.

A guy walks into a bar with his buddies and sees a sign that says "Complete the challenge and get free beer for life". Curious, he asks the bartender what the challenge is.

"Simple" the bartender says : "Take 5 shots of hard liquor one after another, then go outside and pull out the tooth of our live crocodile, then go upstairs to the private room and give an orgasm to the girl in there who's never had one."

The man walks off to think about it, and begins drinking with his buddies. 30 minutes later he returns drunk as a skunk and says "Bring on the challenge!"

He quickly downs the 5 shots of hard liquor and rushes outside to find the crocodile. People inside the bar stand in shock as they listen to the sound of the man screaming while wrestling with the crocodile outside.

4 and a half minutes later he walks back through the door and shouts : "Now where's that b*tch that needs a tooth pulled?"

[ßringer]

What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and vagina?

Only 25% of what comes out of her vagina is ******ed.

[Cleto_Reyes]

where my billion.....

[-Johannes-]

What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and vagina?

Only 25% of what comes out of her vagina is ******ed.

hahahahaha!