I feel like my girl is trying to control me

[Rip Chudd]

Ask her if she's Jamaican.

And when she answers or asks why, you say "Cuz Jamaican me crazy".

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!! What did you get that off the back of a laffy taffy Kev!

[Konstantin]

Well to be perfectly honest it sounds like you're pretty fracked up individual before you met her (without her) and you feel like she is your only way to change by her forcing you to be a "better" man.

Fact is becoming a better man is all in yourself. You are the only who can control what you are. So whatever you are - lazy/emotional/have no emotions/are incapable of keeping conversation, no one is gonna come help you out the way you want it. The only way to change yourself is to realize the fact that you are the only one who can control yourself. You define who you are, no one else. Only people you let control you can define you, but then that wouldn't be you - would it. It'd be her living life through you. And that wouldn't be really living would it?

You are asking her to control your life and she doesn't want to do it because she's tired of you sabotaging your own life. However, it's important to know to separate the deed with the doer. Someone who occasionally is lazy is not the same thing as a lazy person. Lazy people do not exist, there are unmotivated people. If people were truly lazy they would die because they'd be to lazy to feed themselves.

The truth is everyone is equally lazy, no one wants to do work. But some people can manage to program themselves to believe work is a good thing, worth something. Change is hard but you can do it. You need to program yourself that you are not lazy. What ever is standing in the way of you living the perfect life is something that you yourself is setting the limit on. My guess is you're making excuses for yourself. Like maybe one of your parents believes you are lazy/have nothing to offer or whatever. You need to fix it with them first and then you can fix yourself. However, not all problems are fixable, it does take two to tango. So ultimately you have to depend on yourself.

If you can't accept that then you could always make her feel the same way you do. Fact is, if she is with a loser like you for a reason, she has something herself that she is afraid of. Most likely a self esteem issue of the vanity variety. That's certainly what I did.

[Uturn]

Hard to get out of that once you let yourself get whipped around. You messed up..

[Paclan]

Well to be perfectly honest it sounds like you're pretty fracked up individual before you met her (without her) and you feel like she is your only way to change by her forcing you to be a "better" man.

Fact is becoming a better man is all in yourself. You are the only who can control what you are. So whatever you are - lazy/emotional/have no emotions/are incapable of keeping conversation, no one is gonna come help you out the way you want it. The only way to change yourself is to realize the fact that you are the only one who can control yourself. You define who you are, no one else. Only people you let control you can define you, but then that wouldn't be you - would it. It'd be her living life through you. And that wouldn't be really living would it?

You are asking her to control your life and she doesn't want to do it because she's tired of you sabotaging your own life. However, it's important to know to separate the deed with the doer. Someone who occasionally is lazy is not the same thing as a lazy person. Lazy people do not exist, there are unmotivated people. If people were truly lazy they would die because they'd be to lazy to feed themselves.

The truth is everyone is equally lazy, no one wants to do work. But some people can manage to program themselves to believe work is a good thing, worth something. Change is hard but you can do it. You need to program yourself that you are not lazy. What ever is standing in the way of you living the perfect life is something that you yourself is setting the limit on. My guess is you're making excuses for yourself. Like maybe one of your parents believes you are lazy/have nothing to offer or whatever. You need to fix it with them first and then you can fix yourself. However, not all problems are fixable, it does take two to tango. So ultimately you have to depend on yourself.

If you can't accept that then you could always make her feel the same way you do. Fact is, if she is with a loser like you for a reason, she has something herself that she is afraid of. Most likely a self esteem issue of the vanity variety. That's certainly what I did.

jesus................ that makes so much sense..........

[Ca$trO]

From my experience if you are not happy its time to move on....you are just scared to move on because you think you can't find better but believe me better is out their dont get complacent because your comfortable... If your young the world is out their to explore...everyone deserves to be happy....

[shadyivlife]

Don't EVER let a female control you and don't ever CHANGE for a female. It might do wonders for your relationship in the short term but overtime, you'll feel yourself slowly dying inside due to repeatedly trying to please her instead of living life the way you want to. Holding back from doing things you wanna do and saying **** you wanna say because you know it might "upset" her. **** all that. Do you. Be yourself. Be a MAN. Whatever the definition of that is to you. If you and her find a way to work out without you having to adjust to her "expectations" then so be it. If it leads to the end of your relationship, it was never meant to be in the first place. There's somebody better for you out there.

[*Khan]

I was on my knees (not literally) for about 2 months in my last relationship. I was there for her. Trying to make her happy when she was mad at me for no apparent reason. Just to be mad so I can talk nice to her. I realize now that that was a mistake. A relationship builds itself up on love and caring for one another. A woman acting like an attention seeking little girl is no relationship.

I treated this so called 'woman' like she was the Queen of the world. The day I realized I had been fucking up and decided to call it a day with her, she took it as a huge surprise. Which really explains how she thought of me.

A relationship is not about controlling one another, it's about being happy and sharing your life with a person that shows that cares about you.

Alot of people would tell me to break it off asap with this 'woman' but I refused to listen. Now I look back and they were 100% right, so thats what I recommend you do. Your wasting your time with a person like that. That woman is insecure and needs you to be feeing her own ego. She is making herself feel better at your own expense. Fuck her and fuck the whore that I was with.

Be happy, be free. You don't need that type of childish behaviour in a relationship.

[Paclan]

I think you guys are right...... in the beginning the smallest thing I would do would make her jealous

and then it got to the point where I had no power whatsoever, because no matter what i did she knew I would come back to her...

**** that ****.... I'm not gonna be her slave.

What kills me is that I know there's a bunch of dudes that are just waiting for me to **** up so they can get another chance and I know if I leave her, they're gonna pounce...

but I don't think it's worth my sanity... Do you guys think there's any way I could still have her and my Pride? What can I do to force her to change?

I still want her, just not this way.

There was a time where she would do everything I say, and she would do anything to make me happy.

[*Khan]

I think you guys are right...... in the beginning the smallest thing I would do would make her jealous

and then it got to the point where I had no power whatsoever, because no matter what i did she knew I would come back to her...

**** that ****.... I'm not gonna be her slave.

What kills me is that I know there's a bunch of dudes that are just waiting for me to **** up so they can get another chance and I know if I leave her, they're gonna pounce...

but I don't think it's worth my sanity... Do you guys think there's any way I could still have her and my Pride? What can I do to force her to change?

I still want her, just not this way.

There was a time where she would do everything I say, and she would do anything to make me happy.

Dude, it's gonna be better for you and your pride if you dump her instead of her breaking it.

Imagine all the dudes that you see her with you will remember they are getting the leftovers you didn't want anymore.

[£-4-£]

Dump her... It'll give the b*tch a reality check. Don't go about it in a p*ssy way though. Tell her you're the man and she's the woman and you demand respect and she ain't giving it to you. Tell her she's ****ed up big time and you're walking away.

She thinks she's got you sussed out and has you in the palm of her hand. Show her she's wrong. Dump her and tell her you'll be better off without her.

You're a man, you shouldn't take **** from anybody. Have more pride in yourself dude. You need to believe that she's missing out by not being with you, not the other way around.

Break up with her. And you'll feel **** for a while but in the long run it'll make you a stronger and prouder person.