Broke up with my girl (two days after we got back from holiday)

[BetterCallSaul]

Can I just make clear, she didn't actually give me h**d and I didn't want her to do it. She was like 'really?' then I got up and put my clothes on. I just wanted to make her feel bad for a moment, which admittedly isn't healthy.

[Verstyle]

i love threads where you have someone seeking advice for a failed relationship and end up finding a cure for diarrhea.

And it's usually the same people that change a serious thread into a joke.

[Ether]

...dude... move on, play the field, you seem depressed and are pitying yourself. When you meet her act like things are going amazing without her and you're barely interested in what she says.

[BetterCallSaul]

Well I met with her tonight. Here is what she said -

- I make her feel used when I chuck her on the bed for sex without even hardly saying hello. This makes her feel like '****'.

- We don't talk enough and I never listen to her.

- I belittle her and make her feel stupid.

- We don't have fun any more.

- She doesn't know what I want out of the relationship.

- She thinks she can begin to love me again if I'm willing to work on our problems and my own shortcomings.

- She admitted that our problems are not completely my fault, and that she needs to talk more about how she feels so I'm not always guessing.

After we had talked which was a hard exercise in itself I felt much better. I acknowledged what she said and promised to work hard at fixing what is broken in our relationship. I asked if we could take things slow and start afresh so that we can remove all the frustration and pressure from our relationship. This took a couple of tries and different angles of convincing but she accepted and agreed to give me another chance. Sometime soon she is going to come over after work, and I'm going to take her out, treat her well, talk, have fun, and take her home. I'm not going to jump on her, instead if she want's sex I will wait until she initiates, as opposed to forcing the action. Basically, I'm going to be real man and treat her like the star that she is instead of some third rate skank I picked up from the street.

After our talk we went to watch the Avengers at the cinema. Then I walked her back to her car. There we had a big cuddle and a small kiss on the lips before she went home. It was a nice end to the night and I felt so much better having understood why she was so closed off and how my actions towards her had caused this.

I just txt'd her goodnight, but from now, I'm going to give her space until she next makes contact. A little space from each other is just what we need right now even if we have patched things up somewhat. I'm exhausted just from the talk we had and need to recharge, so I can't imagine how she feels. Space, time, and limited periods of contact is the best method going forward. Maybe I can save this after all.

[Dye]

I wish you luck, man.

[Always]

Keep doing your thing bro.... Hopefully all ends well.

[SkillspayBills]

One of Two things will happen after your talk:
1.She will realize life without you is perfectly fine and move on.
2.She will take you back knowing that you have many faults that you have to man up and work on.

Edit:Am I a ****ing genius or WHAT! I called that ****!


This is a step by step process. I feel your relationship will blossom from this day forward because of one thing......appreciation. You truly understand that you need to appreciate the woman in front of you because she means everything to you. For that you will try your hardest to make it work. You don't have to be too stand offish bro. Only talking to her if she hits you up. Yes give her her space but give her those "good morning beautiful" to know she is in your mind and your heart. It will ALWAYS be a work in progress and each and everyday you will have to work and work to make your relationship long lasting. Best of luck to you and your misses bro.

[PsychoPat]

Well I met with her tonight. Here is what she said -

- I make her feel used when I chuck her on the bed for sex without even hardly saying hello. This makes her feel like '****'.

- We don't talk enough and I never listen to her.

- I belittle her and make her feel stupid.

- We don't have fun any more.

- She doesn't know what I want out of the relationship.

- She thinks she can begin to love me again if I'm willing to work on our problems and my own shortcomings.

- She admitted that our problems are not completely my fault, and that she needs to talk more about how she feels so I'm not always guessing.

After we had talked which was a hard exercise in itself I felt much better. I acknowledged what she said and promised to work hard at fixing what is broken in our relationship. I asked if we could take things slow and start afresh so that we can remove all the frustration and pressure from our relationship. This took a couple of tries and different angles of convincing but she accepted and agreed to give me another chance. Sometime soon she is going to come over after work, and I'm going to take her out, treat her well, talk, have fun, and take her home. I'm not going to jump on her, instead if she want's sex I will wait until she initiates, as opposed to forcing the action. Basically, I'm going to be real man and treat her like the star that she is instead of some third rate skank I picked up from the street.

After our talk we went to watch the Avengers at the cinema. Then I walked her back to her car. There we had a big cuddle and a small kiss on the lips before she went home. It was a nice end to the night and I felt so much better having understood why she was so closed off and how my actions towards her had caused this.

I just txt'd her goodnight, but from now, I'm going to give her space until she next makes contact. A little space from each other is just what we need right now even if we have patched things up somewhat. I'm exhausted just from the talk we had and need to recharge, so I can't imagine how she feels. Space, time, and limited periods of contact is the best method going forward. Maybe I can save this after all.

Bro how has you're situation changed in the last few years. Still got that poontang on tap?

[Zaroku]

Things had not been great between me and my girl leading up to our holiday. We weren't seeing each other much as she works full time, and I'm busy with exams. However, I thought going away together would give us a chance to patch things up, and make things good again, like they were when we first starting dating.

I knew the holiday wasn't going to go well as soon as I arrived at the airport. She wasn't very talkative and seemed closed off. Therefore I felt slighted, and closed her off in retaliation. As expected, things were tense between us throughout the holiday, and we both picked and digged at each other constantly. There was still sex, moments of tenderness (cuddles, glances, and stolen kisses) but overall it wasn't a fun trip. I ignored her for 90% of it, and I knew this would have hurt her.

One night I decided to ask her why she was so closed off and she replied that I was the one being closed off while she was just tired and stressed from her busy work schedule. She said that I make her feel used because as soon as she visits my house I'm tearing her clothes off before I've even said hello, we don't have any fun any more, and I make her feel stupid. I obviously denied all these things, even though they are partly true, and became even more of an arsehole. She then said that our relationship wasn't working and she wants to be selfish with her time to do what she wants.

I was still upset when I woke up in the morning, so I decided I would take it out on her. I basically demanded her to give me a blowj*b. I knew this would upset her and make her feel worthless, but I wasn't thinking straight, and was upset. It was a huge mistake looking back and I feel ashamed having asked her like that. I didn't even want one, I just wanted to see the same hurt in her eyes that I had.

Anyway, once we parted at the airport I knew I had messed up and sent her an e-mail to apologise (her phone was broken) and to say how I was going to change, and how things are going to be like they used to be. She replied and said that she's confused and wants some time to herself. On top of this, she said that she has been in relationships for the past 8 years (she is 24) and just wants to find herself and have fun.

This was on Thursday. We've txted a few times since and she's agreed to meet for for drinks and to talk on Wednesday, but I'm unsure of how to approach the situation? Do I ask her for another chance, or just talk, not put her under any pressure, and let her make up her own mind?

When things are good, we're great together. We have so much fun, and love being around each other. But the last time she said she loved me was two weeks ago, and our relationship has been struggling long before that. I admit that sometimes I'm very difficult to deal with. I push people away, my mood is temperamental, and I'm a little insecure. I know these things don't do me any favours. Still, I know I can grow from them if given the opportunity.

Any advice peeps?

Sounds like a BBC in the back ground, laying monster cable at will! Yep, the old bbc deep up in your girl..

She is getting freaky with Mandingo-man!

Let her go... find a good man, pass your college exams, and show her you moved on with kleshaunte Andre cleophus the 3rd!

[Zaroku]

Can I just make clear, she didn't actually give me h**d and I didn't want her to do it. She was like 'really?' then I got up and put my clothes on. I just wanted to make her feel bad for a moment, which admittedly isn't healthy.

Here you go homie!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w5_EIikdFr8
Pina colada song!