Need advice lounge. My brother is the biggest loser I've ever seen.

[Walt Liquor]

I have a similar situation with my younger brother who is 22.

He smokes, drinks constantly, hustles, and just lays around. He makes his Mom's life (we have 2 diff moms) very miserable and has had his house raided once already. He's been offered to live and work with my Dad and Uncle who currently live in Hong Kong. At 1st he makes it seem like he wants to go, but reverts back to the same ol' lifestyle (which is really his 1st intention anyway). I've had sit downs with him explaining why people look at him a certain way and try giving him advice. He actually listens and agrees with things I say, but again...back to the same ol'.Unfortunately for some people, they gotta find out the hard way. There has to be a point where you have to just let go. In your situation where you have an opportunity to go to Chicago or Minnesota, don't let your brother stop you. You still gotta live your life and it shouldn't consist of looking out for your older brother who should have no excuse for not being in a better position in life than what he's in now.

I'm not sure how you and your brother were brought up individually, but most of the time this type of behavior starts from way early on, as was the case with my brother. Like I said, just do you and let your brother for once handle himself without being dependent on anyone. Tough love can be a *****, but it's sometimes necessary. Good luck.

could this be any more south florida?

good advice, lots of people have to learn for themselves.....

[paulf]

that post sucked.

people are the result of ONLY 2 things:

1. genetics
2. environment

genetics + environment = your brother. is his genetics his fault? no. is the environment he was raised in his fault? no. therefore, your brother is just doing his **** to stay the **** out of it.

and i did **** all those hot b1tches.

You must have had a ****ty life growing up. Like a lot of Eastern-European immigrants, I come from a close knit family.

If he would handle his business, I wouldn't have to be in it. I wouldn't have to find him a job (he was unemployed for over a year and living with my parents at 27 years old) and let him move in with me when I didn't need a roommate.

I have a similar situation with my younger brother who is 22.

He smokes, drinks constantly, hustles, and just lays around. He makes his Mom's life (we have 2 diff moms) very miserable and has had his house raided once already. He's been offered to live and work with my Dad and Uncle who currently live in Hong Kong. At 1st he makes it seem like he wants to go, but reverts back to the same ol' lifestyle (which is really his 1st intention anyway). I've had sit downs with him explaining why people look at him a certain way and try giving him advice. He actually listens and agrees with things I say, but again...back to the same ol'.

Unfortunately for some people, they gotta find out the hard way. There has to be a point where you have to just let go. In your situation where you have an opportunity to go to Chicago or Minnesota, don't let your brother stop you. You still gotta live your life and it shouldn't consist of looking out for your older brother who should have no excuse for not being in a better position in life than what he's in now.

I'm not sure how you and your brother were brought up individually, but most of the time this type of behavior starts from way early on, as was the case with my brother. Like I said, just do you and let your brother for once handle himself without being dependent on anyone. Tough love can be a *****, but it's sometimes necessary. Good luck.

Thanks for the words.

Eh mentally I'm sure it could have set in early, but it was nothing anyone noticed. He started being a **** up around the time he dropped out of HS (11th grade) and he's just been goin' downhill since.

It sucks because I know he's not even remotely satisfied with his life, but he's just too scared to confront all of his issues, so he just chooses to escape reality with drugs and video games.

[Freelancer]

I think that by this time the whole *you're a loser, get your life together* routine works as reverse psychology on him. The more you let him now, the less he's gonna want to do something about it. And that relationship of his probably doesn't help him much.

As others have said, I guess it would be best to cut the strings, leave him to handle himself, though that sounds a bit difficult since your parents will probably help him anyway. It's not easy to find motivation after a certain age in life but hey, it's never too late but he has to do it by himself.

[Pez]

Sounds like you already tried your best to help him, but I think now you have to let him help himself. Let him hit rock bottom and hopefully he'll realize he has to change. Like someone else mentioned, tough love is the likely solution.

[Hi-Dro]

dont hold up your life for him...move to Chicago and finish your schooling...


tell your folks to be strong and not let him back in the house...he's 28...its time to sink or swim

this right hur TS.


Stop thinking about it and follow this *****s advice. He's 28 for God's sake.

[Shabba Rank$]

If my brother was like that, my dad woulda kicked his ass out at 22.

[Hi-Dro]

What???? People are a result of ONLY two things? Genetics or Environment?

Wow, that's the stupidest thing ever. I guess I should be in prison or dead. Man I'm glad I don't teach my kid this bull****.

You are a product of yourself, I don't give a **** what is around you and what bad breaks life has given you, you have a choice in life.

My daughter came to me one day and told me that her teacher was prejudice and that's why she wasn't doing well in that class, that she didn't like Mexicans. I told her, I don't care if she is the head of the KKK, you better get an A in that class because you don't have the luxury not to do well in this world.

No!

We are all the products of our environment. Having a choice in life doesn't negate that fact that we are influenced, by everything around us. Our language, customs, religion etc. It's all influenced, by our environment.There's nothing unique about us man. Everything you know, and think is derived from your environment, or someone before you. Some of us are smart enough to remove our mentality from the one being emphasized in our environment, yet a lot of us simply go with the flow. Of course not everyone is going to act accordingly to what our environment expects, nevertheless to deny that Pacquiao isn't better the Floyd is ******ed man.

[paulf]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

[led]

that post sucked.

people are the result of ONLY 2 things:

1. genetics
2. environment

genetics + environment = your brother. is his genetics his fault? no. is the environment he was raised in his fault? no. therefore, your brother is just doing his **** to stay the **** out of it.

and i did **** all those hot b1tches.

Thats why you idiot. Your genetics is the result of you parents dumbness and you were raised in an environment of *******s.



Btw, I though the TS just describes you except for the goodlooking, intelligent and has gf part.

[Gerry_NineT1]

Basically, the best way I can explain your brothers condition - he hasn't gotten enough positive energy from people in life to want go out and become social. I think sub-conciously he probably fears or resents people, hasn't gotten enough positivity out of people in his life, so he just alienates himself. Complaining and bitching to him will only further this attitude in him. Try and make him feel good about people.

Weed is something that he needs to take a break from - it's not bad in and of itself if you already have relationships with people and don't overuse it to the extent it damages them - but it's way too easy to get sucked into a place where that does happen.

The thing with anti-social people.... They don't like people. And people are always giving them shit about it. Vicious cycle. Your thread gives off negative vibes about him, so I can only assume you have given them off to him as well.

The best thing you can do for him is make him enjoy your company. Heed my words.. What I say is 100% truth, I know from experience and knowledge of how people's minds work. Stop trying to force him to be like you, or trying to make him feel bad about his situation.