"Hopefully Thursday, everything is okay and when I wake up, I'll know exactly what's going on and the cancer will be gone. They said 'm going to wake up with tubes in my mouth and 'll be really out of it. I will find out tomorrow if I'm free of the cancer, or if I won't be here to see 2013. That's what they told me. Life and death has never come so close, especially since I was so close to the top and being close to the top of my career. I was about to headline Showtime at 25 years old, in the prime of my career. Now, I could literally be dead tomorrow"