I once met a girl clubbing in town and was absolutely smashed so went back to her place...though not before she ordered kebab and chips from the takeaway.
Once there, we were messing about on her bed when she accidentally spilt chips and ketchup over her feet and jokingly asked me to 'lick it off' (triggers wet dream) The thought immediately repulsed me so I said I was going toilet and tip toed downstairs and out the door.
I tried to shut the door quietly so she wouldn't hear but it made a loud click. Just as I reached the gate she opened the window and asked me where I was going. I turned around and was speechless that I had been caught so I decided to sprint away.
She called me a c**t.